“No. There’s something I need to do first.”
“Okay, love,” I told her, “whatever you need.” Frank’s barrister quickly led him outside and down the steps of the law courts, probably for his own safety. I stared a hole in the back of his head but the fucker, grinning ear to ear and laughing with his barrister, ignored me until he climbed into a cab and then turned and fucking waved at me before driving off.
“You guys okay to stay here, and I’ll bring the truck round?” Liam said.
“Sure,” Kieran replied. “When you’re on your way, I’ll drop Nikki home on my bike then grab us all some lunch and meet you back at Danny’s.” I couldn’t think about eating after what had just happened.
“I need the bathroom a minute, love. You okay to wait here with everyone?”
“Sure,” she replied looking worn out. After a quick kiss, I raced back up the steps of the courthouse, quickly bypassing the doors to walk around the side of the building. Out of sight, I placed my hands against the cold stone and vomited until there was nothing left. A clean, white handkerchief was held in front of me as I turned to face Danny.
“Well done for not doing it in front of her, son,” he told me.
“You don’t think I’m a * for losing my stomach over a guy I could take out in under one round?”
“Son, I puked when I woke up this mornin’. Does that make me a *?”
“I’m pretty sure you’re the feckin hardest man I know,” I told him. He just nodded his head and grunted, like that was a given.
“Come on. We’d better get back. Told Em I was emptying my catheter bag. If we take much longer, she’s likely to walk into the men’s toilet to try and help.”
“Is she gonna be okay?” I asked him, and he chuckled.
“She asked me that same question about you not five minutes ago. But that’s Sunshine for you. Always worrying about everyone else before herself.”
“What did we do now, Danny?” I asked, feeling pissed off, sad, despairing, and vengeful all at the same time.
“We train, Con. It’s all we can do. Bad shit happens all the time. You keep moving forward until you find some happiness that made you glad you kept moving,” he told me. It was good advice but I wasn’t ready to move forward yet. Not until I could purge all this shit building inside me.
*
Danny opened up the gym, and we followed him inside, my hand at the small of Em’s back. For the first time in as long as I can remember, this place didn’t feel like home. No matter what shit my ma put me through, I could almost always find peace here, and what I found inside those four ropes was justice. That was gone now, and killing Frank was the only way I knew how to get that back. I didn’t want to tie him down and slice him up like he’d done to Em. No, I wanted one round with him in the ring. Three minutes with no gloves was all I needed to make everything better again. Taking off the wool coat off that was a gift from me, she draped it over one of the folding chairs. Pulling another toward her, she sat down.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Waiting for you,” she replied. I gave her a funny look as I tried to work out what she was talking about.
“I’m your wife, O’Connell. I know you almost better than anyone else in the world. If we go home now, all that hate is going to eat you up, and you won’t sleep any better than you did last night,” she said.
“How do you know I didn’t sleep last night?” I asked.
“Wife, remember?” she said, holding up her hand and wiggling he ring finger. Knowing she was right, I changed quickly, wrapped my hands, and taking the time to kiss Em gently on the forehead, went to the bag and unleashed hell. I pounded on it relentlessly, not bothering with combinations, just hooking and jabbing repeatedly, with power that came only from hours of discipline and dedication.
At the speed I was punching, there was no way I should be able to hit the same mark every time but I was, because every spot on the bag I hit was one of Frank’s vital organs. In normal training, Danny would time me on each apparatus then move me on. Strengthen my arms and toughen my knuckles but work on my core as well. There was no stopping me now though. I heard Kieran and the other guys talking quietly as they ate their lunch. No one else trained, they just sat and waited with me.
“I can’t take this anymore,” I heard Kieran say. “I’ll go toe to toe with him if that’s what he needs.”
“Sit down, Kier. Let him work this out himself.”