“Fuck!” he whispered harshly, but to his credit, he didn’t scream soprano like Tommy had. “That fucking hurt,” he complained.
“Of course it did. You’re getting shot. What did you expect?”
“I don’t know. It’s paint. I didn’t expect it to hurt this bad.”
“Best try not to get shot again then,” Kier told him gravely. His expression neutral, Earnshaw didn’t give away anything about what he was going to do next when he shot Kier in the leg.
“Motherfucker,” Kier muttered. “What d’you do that for?”
“Fucking hurts, doesn’t it?” Earnshaw told him with a smirk. Kier let it go, knowing they were even.
“We’re supposed to be on the same team, you know,” I pointed out.
“Well you started it,” Earnshaw complained. “So what really is the game plan?”
“Draw them out and shoot Tommy as many times as you can,” Kier told him.
“Why Tommy?” he asked.
“Because it’s fun,” Kier and I both said together.
“Besides, Liam and Big Joe don’t even flinch when they get shot. Tommy screams,” Kieran said. Earnshaw looked a little unsure about the plan so I leaned over to whisper to him. “Your sister get home okay the other night then?” Kier grinned, seeing what I was doing, while Earnshaw grimaced.
“Yes, thanks,” he replied through gritted teeth.
“You know I saw him and your sister swapping numbers along with saliva the other night. They could even be dating already,” Kieran informed him. Of course it was all total bollocks. As far as I knew, they hadn’t spoken since that night when we’d all bumped into Evelyn.
“She only met him five minutes ago, and she needs to be focusing on her new job. They are not dating,” he informed us emphatically.
“If you say so,” Kieran said in a tone suggesting he didn’t believe a word of it.
“You know you could do worse for a brother-in-law. I’m sure he’d behave himself if she ever brought him to the US to meet your parents,” I added. We could see the wheels in Earnshaw’s head turning as he envisioned his sister married to Tommy, and I was surprised he didn’t crack the gun because he held onto it so tight.
“How do we flush him out?” he asked us, and I fist-bumped Kieran behind Tom’s back. Our work here was done. Tommy was so getting shot in the arse again.
“I’ll go round to the left and push him toward you as you come round on the right. He’s quick. So once you got a shot, you have to be fast.” We nodded and moved stealthily through the woods as we followed Kier’s directions. I could just about see the top of Liam’s head behind a bush. Knowing him and Big Joe, they were probably waiting for Tommy to get taken out, so we’d expose ourselves before they made their move. Poor Tom was always the bait without even realizing it. As far as he was concerned, the SAS were missing out on his skills big time.
“Tommy?” Kier called out in a singsong voice in the distance. “Come and get me, Tommy. You know you want to shoot me!” Kier taunted him for a few minutes but Tommy wasn’t biting.
Finally after a few minutes of quiet, Kieran called out to him again. “Listen Tom. If you’ve got your hands full now with Earnshaw’s sister, you mind if I take Evelyn out on a date? That’s one fine-looking Irish woman I wouldn’t mind taking home to meet me ma. Shame she doesn’t want you now she knows about your STDs.”
“Keep your filthy fucking hands off Evelyn, and for the last time, I don’t have any fucking STDs!” Tommy shouted indignantly.
“Bingo” I whispered as the three of us opened fire at the bush where Tommy’s call had come from. He screamed like he was being murdered, and even getting shot by Liam and Joe was worth it. Today was turning into a good day, even if we’d probably have to carry Tommy home. Maybe I needed to buy one of them guns so every time he flirted with Em I could shoot him in the arse again. The idea was tempting.
Chapter 10
“Look at the state of you!” Em shrieked when she saw Tommy’s back. Of course the little fecker had to come into the office without his top on.
“We got shot too!” complained Kieran but Em tutted, knowing Tommy had probably taken most of the hits and why. She fussed over him and mothered him as she made him a cup of tea. Of course Tom really didn’t help himself by giving us the finger the minute Em’s back was turned.
“Some people never learn,” Kier said with a sigh. He was probably dreaming up some more ways he could torture him. Tommy was sitting in Danny’s seat again so Kieran and I sat there expectantly, waiting for the fallout as the old man shuffled in through the door. Preempting him, Em handed him a steaming hot cup of coffee, and he graced her with a rare and loving smile, before turning his scowl on the rest of us.
“Heath’s got some good news about Con’s next fight so I want you all to listen up. Tommy get out of my feckin’ seat. Now!” he demanded.