The Accidental Familiar (Accidentals #14)

“Oh, I called their asses, all right, and you know what they said after keeping me on hold for half an hour? Someone would get back to me. They’re backed up with this blood moon prep.”


Now Poppy nodded, forcing her eyes to look away from Rick’s handsome face as they ate. “My flying Wallenda act aside last night, and speaking of this blood moon, could someone explain it to me? I have no clue what any of this means and your Wi-Fi sucks. I can’t get a signal on my phone to save my soul—which might need saving after last night. But you know what I did find out? I found out you witches are crazy bitches. Did you know that witches allegedly stole penises and kept them as pets? Like, according to this article, some guy wrote about how they made your stalks of love vanish and kept them in what this guy called a nest? I don’t know if it’s true, but if it is, what kind of medieval whacky is that?”

Rick squirmed in his chair, his laughter thin. “Feel like maybe you went a little overboard on the research there. Maybe you should stay away from Google and rely on us for correct information.”

“So it’s not true? How do you know? Were you there?” she asked, dropping her fork on the plate. “Because I’m not keeping anyone’s junk in a nest.”

“Good thing you’re a familiar and not a witch then, huh?” Calamity snickered from her plate of fresh salmon, courtesy of Arch, who now slept in Rick’s armchair after making them all breakfast.

“Here’s something I was wondering. Did you smell the magic last night, Calamity? Like just after Poppy cannonballed through the air?” Rick asked, popping a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

Calamity brushed up against his arm, rubbing the length of her body against him. “Damn right I did. It was ugly magic, for sure. That kind of magic contains only one thing. Malice and it’s meant to harm. But why? Why would someone want to hurt Poppy?”

“Yeah. Why would someone want to hurt me?” she asked, picking up her plate to bring to the sink in the center of the island.

As the daylight streamed in through the tall windows opposite his kitchen, misty-gray and chilling, she finally wondered out loud what they’d all been wondering, but hadn’t articulated.

“I think we need to call the Doc,” Nina said, cutting Carl’s broccoli. “Maybe she can give us some fucking information on what the hell is going on, seeing as Familiar Central’s so damn busy.”

Poppy held up a finger after she slung a dishtowel over her shoulder and grabbed a sponge to wipe down the counters. “Right. Which brings me back to the blood moon thing. What’s the deal? Do I need to get a new dress? Why’s everyone in such an uproar over it?”

Rick brought his dish to the sink and rolled up his sleeves. “It’s on Halloween this year—or Samhain, as we celebrate, often mispronounced as Sam Hain. It represents the death of one cycle and the birth of another, but it’s also when the veil to the other realms is at its thinnest.”

Poppy gulped as Rick squeezed into the space at the sink, his hip pressing to hers. “Meaning?”

“Meaning, all sorts of things can push their way through the veil. Halloween is already rife with plenty of shenanigans. Sometimes, what you see on TV is really real. But add in the blood moon, and it can get scary. Magic becomes more powerful, entities become bolder, spirits take their shot at breaking through. I’m just saying, things happen.”

Handing Rick a dish, Poppy frowned. “So what’s pushing through the veil that has Familiar Central so freaked out?”

He stopped rinsing the dishes and looked at her. “Well, demons for one. All manner of evil for two.”

Flapping her hands, she sprinkled water in his face. “Is that all? Hah! What’s the big deal about a little ol’ demon?”

Marty’s chair scraped against the floor as she reached over and dropped her plate in the sink. “Well, if we were talking about our demon, Darnell, it’d be no big deal at all. He’s the sweetest man alive. But Darnell’s also the exception to the rule. Have we called our boy today?”

Nina nodded, holding up her phone. “Yep. This sounds like it’s right up his alley. Figured we’d better get him here pronto. I’m also gonna call the doc. She should at least be able to help with this bad magic shit. I’m not crazy about the kid up and disappearing the way she did last night. I can’t fight what I can’t fucking see.”

“Good idea, Beastmaster! Now you’re thinking like a witch,” Calamity crowed. “Maybe she can cast a protective spell or something to help keep Poppy from harm.”

“You have a demon?” she asked, though not nearly as surprised as she’d been just two days ago.

Wanda chuckled, handing over her coffee mug. “Well, we don’t have one-have one. He’s not like a pet, he’s an integral part of our crew. Gentle as a lamb, fierce as a hungry tiger. He’s one of the very reasons we’re still here to tell our tales of adventure.”

She stopped dropping dishes into the sink for a moment to ponder. “So a good demon?”

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