The Accidental Familiar (Accidentals #14)

Every table, from the coffee table to the nightstand way at the far end of the room, was made out of some sort of recycled plumbing pipe, reclaimed wood and steel. Abstract pictures in black and silver frames hung on the walls in groups of three; their splashes of orange, red and variations of that same teal on his pillows all but bellowed his love of strong decor statements.

His bed, the one where he rested his perfect head, was as masculine as he was. The black wrought iron and thick tree limbs that made up the headboard, an odd combination in theory, somehow worked in reality. Pillows in solid shades of gray, blue and a burnt umber, stacked one in front of the other, sat on a fluffy comforter in geometric patterns of the same colors.

Poppy blinked, but Nina was the one who made the first comment. She held up her fist to Ricardo, who’d sauntered over to and back from a tall armoire to grab a T-shirt. “Dude. Rad fucking place.”

He grinned again and amicably bumped her fist with his. “Thanks. You are?”

“A vampire. A vampire who will eat your face off if you ever damn well freeze me again, and if you don’t start cooperating so I can go home to my kids and my husband before the end of GD eternity. Nice to meet ya.”

Ricardo made an adorable pouty face. “That’s sort of rash, don’t you think? But in case my name hasn’t already been thrown around, I’m Ricardo Delassantos, and I’m a warlock who’ll zap you to the outer galaxy if you four and your cat don’t go away.” To back up that statement, he smiled that infuriatingly handsome smile again.

Calamity hopped up on the counter and sat back on her haunches. “Now, now, Pretty Boy. Don’t be like that. Every warlock needs a familiar. It’s the law. It’s how we keep each other in check. You know it and I know it. Stop fighting the tide, brother.”

“So why don’t you tell me exactly why I need this particular familiar.” He stared right through her, burning holes in her face with his glare.

With this new position of familiar, Poppy felt like some earthy, sage answer was in order, something that would make her sound like she knew what the hell she was doing.

“The universe tends to unfold as it should.”

Pulling the shirt over his head, Ricardo rolled his eyes. “From the infamous Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. Hardly original, Sage One.”

“Look, I’m new at this, okay? I don’t know a single thing about being a familiar other than I’m supposed to dole out advice and protect you. So there. Have some advice. I interpret those words to mean, the universe put me here with cranky you for a reason. I’m doubting the universe’s sanity right now because you’re kind of a butthead. But there it is. Take it or leave it.”

His dark eyebrow rose in crystal clear condescension. “And I’m supposed to just say ‘let’s do this’ to someone who quotes Harold and Kumar and dresses like Paul Stanley? Nice boots, by the way.” He pointed a lean finger at her beloved platforms.

Now Poppy rolled her eyes, tapping her fingers on the steel countertop. “Good guess! And don’t hide behind pretension. You knew who Harold and Kumar were, buddy. And I don’t always dress like this. I was at a Halloween party when this all went down. So lay off the judgey Paul Stanley shaming and let’s get this sorted out.”

Rolling his tongue inside his lean cheek, Ricardo’s jaw tensed and clenched, the strong muscles ticking out a rhythm. “I said I didn’t want a familiar. I don’t know how much clearer I can be.”

Roomandboardroomandboard, Poppy.

Lifting her shoulders in a sigh, Poppy clucked her tongue and decided it was sink-or-swim time. If she was supposed to be his guide, she had to show him how stupid he was for turning her away. That she was an asset to him. Or at least make him believe she was—even if she didn’t believe it herself.

So she put her acting hat on, the one she wore to all her Broadway auditions, and stared him right in his gorgeous eyes. “I guess that’s your tough shit then. Because I’m not going anywhere. So suck it.”

Taking a step back, he glared at them—but mostly he glared at Poppy. “I said, I don’t want nor do I need a familiar. Now get out of my house!” he shouted, lifting his wide hand.

And that was when Poppy lifted her hand, too. She wasn’t sure why she did it. In that flash of a moment, she knew it wasn’t because she was afraid Ricardo would strike her. Not at all. Yet, she felt as though she needed to prevent something, and throwing up her hand was her best defense.

Turned out, she blew something up instead.

Whoops.





Chapter 5


As the black and silver industrial hanging lights over the island countertop sparked and sputtered before exploding and crashing to the ground, Nina was the first to yell, “Incoming!” diving for Poppy in an effort to protect her from the spray of electricity.

Instead of connecting with Poppy, the vampire crashed into Ricardo, who’d surprisingly taken a lunge to knock her out of the way, too, spewing a string of expletives in Spanish. As the two smashed into each other, they fell to the floor with grunts, tangled limbs and some pretty foul language.

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