“So they don’t make you nervous?” Her eyebrow rose.
“Not at all.” They were at least talking. My eyes shifted to her father sitting at the head of the table, listening to his daughter.
“I got it, thank you, Eli. You can head back to the table.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Besides, once you sit, Guinevere will come over and the boys will go for some fresh air on the lake. Good luck.” She winked at me.
I wanted to know if she was in my corner or not, but figured I’d just have to wait and see. Sure enough, when I headed back, Guinevere got up to help her mother.
“It’s too warm in here,” Jeremy said, right on cue.
“Should we go outside for some fresh air?” I asked him.
All three of them looked me up and down before their gaze moved to Masoa, who stood, turning to his wife. “Sweetheart, we are heading out.”
“Really? All right, we will join you all soon,” she said as if she was surprised.
Yep, the one I have to really watch out for is her mother. “I’ll be fine, ma’am.”
Guinevere's eyes shifted to me.
I tried my best to silently let her know not to worry. Grabbing my coat, I followed them out.
Guinevere
“Mom,” I said pointedly as I dried the dishes. I knew her; she had something to say. “Just let me have it.”
“First, I want to know: is he a fling, or he does he mean more to you?”
“Do you bring flings home to meet your parents?” I asked softly, putting the plate up in the cabinet.
“If he were a fling, I would say have fun. Let your—”
“Mom, if you say inner goddess...”
She smirked. “Sweetheart, no one has an inner goodness, we aren’t shooting a Pantene commercial. We all just have sexier versions of ourselves. Besides, life is too short not to have fun, Guinevere.”
We are not having that talk. “And if he isn’t a fling?”
“And if he isn’t a fling, I have nothing to say to you, because you will do what you want. It’s who you are. I don’t know anything about him yet. I just know that when it comes to men, your track record isn’t great.”
“I’ve only dated Sebastian—”
“And how many times have you wanted men you can’t have? You used to have a crush on Jeremy, right? But he only had eyes for Stevie. So you just stood there waiting, and he never saw you that way.”
“That was different, it was just a little high school crush.” It had honestly meant nothing; I never even said anything to anyone.
“Wasn’t Eli supposed to marry someone else? He isn’t just with you to get over her, is he?”
I frowned, wiping down a cup. “You make it seem like I wasn’t also in a relationship.”
“True.” She nodded, shaking her hands.
I handed her the towel.
“But when your relationship ended, how did you feel?”
“I was upset, of course, and angry and embarrassed.”
“And you felt free,” she finished.
I stopped, because I had felt that way. For the briefest second right after it happened, I had felt like I could breathe.
“When you truly love someone, when you have found your match and they walk away from you, or you are forced to walk away from them, freedom is nowhere on the list of things you feel, because that feeling comes from being with them, Guinevere.”
“So you’re saying I didn’t truly love Sebastian, fine—”
“I’m saying whether you know it or not, you are falling in love with that man. But is he capable of falling in love with you now, or are you just an escape for him?”
When she said it, I hated how the first thing I thought about was all the times he'd told me he didn’t like to have to think about anything around me, how he liked to lose track of time with me. I felt like someone was sitting on my chest.
“What is that proverb you always say?”
“Le ntombazane izinkanyezi emehlweni akhe bayokhanya njengokukhanya ebusuku,” she replied in Zulu.
I nodded. “The girl with stars in her eyes will shine like the moonlight… Let me shine, Mom.”
She sighed but nodded. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but just remember to protect your heart, Guinevere, or it really will break this time.”
Eli
Taigi barked, hopping around Masoa’s leg. He even howled up at the night sky.
I couldn’t blame him, actually. I had never seen this many stars in one place in all of my life. It was like someone had spilled a million tiny diamonds onto a dark sheet. A thin crescent moon sat just to the left of it all.
“So, City Slicker.” Malik came over, placing his arm around my neck. “Cypress so far?”
“It’s just as beautiful as Guinevere described,” I replied as we stopped at the lake, the sky reflected in it.
Taigi ran up to me with a stick between his jaws. It reminded me of the ones he often grabbed when we went running, and I threw it for him. He fetched and dropped it at my feet.
Kneeling next to him, I scratched his neck. “So, we are still on for a run tomorrow, then?”