“No, sorry, I just don’t have anything to say to you. You should head back in. Your boyfriend, fiancé, or whatever, might get the wrong idea.”
“We aren’t together. We just came for appearance's sake,” she said as I was about to turn. “He still loves her, and I—”
“He still loves her?” Who gives a damn if he still loves her? He can’t have her… What am I thinking right now?
“Eli, Eli please hear me out. I—I think I made a mistake. No, I know I made a mistake.”
She made a mistake? Is she kidding me right now? There were a million things I’d figured she could say to me, just to spite me—that he was the better lover, the better man—and I would have preferred any of them to that reply.
“Your mistakes aren’t any of my business, Hannah.” I turned from her.
She held back my arm. “Eli, wait—”
“Is everything okay?” Gwen asked, coming close but keeping her eyes on Hannah.
Guinevere
My feet didn’t really hurt that badly, I just needed a moment away from Eli. He had been so close to me, closer than I had been to any man in what felt like forever. That, and the way his eyes stayed trained on me like I was the only person in the world…it was hard to even hear the music with how quickly my heart was beating against my chest. For some reason, I trusted him; even when he said he wouldn't wait, I knew he would still be there when I got back. I just wasn’t expecting her to be holding on to him, and for some reason the sight bothered me to no end. “Is everything okay?” I asked when I reached them.
Eli pulled her hand off him. “It’s fine. Did you get the shoes?”
“Yes. I’m just still trying to figure out why you are standing here.” I pointed to Hannah.
She sighed. “I know what I did to you, the both of you, was wrong. I’m so sorry—”
“Will your 'sorry' make everything better?” I smiled at her. “I mean, you only destroyed two people’s dreams in what, thirty seconds? Not to mention all those phone calls and emails I had to make to family and friends, trying to figure out how to explain my that fiancé ran off with another woman…on her own wedding day.”
“We aren’t together—”
I just looked to him in shock.
“Hannah, you are not helping.” Eli sighed.
“Let me hit her,” I said to him. “Please, let me hit her.”
“You don’t want to make a scene—”
I stepped toward her.
Hannah didn’t back up. “I deserve it.”
“You do deserve it. I should curse you out, throw water in your face, and so much more, not just for hurting me, but for hurting him. What makes it worse is you didn’t even have the decency to make your affair last. Should I feel better about that? If you two were soulmates, at least I could say 'they really fell in love.' I’m a romantic like that. I thought I was the pitiful one, but the truth is, you are. How stupid you must feel right now for throwing everything away. I feel sorry for you.” I took a step back and turned around.
Chapter Twelve
Mistake or By Design
Eli
Not just for hurting me, but for hurting him.
Her words repeated in my mind as the driver held open the car door for us at our apartment. She hadn’t even argued with me, just got in the car and didn't say a word or even look at me during the drive. In the elevator, she kept her head down, and when we reached our floor, she slowly walked to her door.
I don’t want it to end like this.
She unlocked the door, and I came up behind her, pulling it closed. “Say something,” I whispered.
She didn’t turn around.
“Guinevere, please say something. Anything.”
“Eli, I’m tired. Please let it go.”
“She said he’s still in love with you. Will you go back to him if he calls?” I didn’t know why I asked, but I just knew I had to. I couldn’t let it go.
“Do I look that desperate?”
She still wouldn't face me. “I don’t know how you look right now. Turn around and ask me again.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“Because you are confusing me.”
“I feel the same.”
Her hand tightened on the doorknob. “We’ve had too much wine. Let’s call it a night, Eli.”
“All right. If that's what you think it is.” I let go of her door, waiting for her to head inside.
But, she didn’t. She just stood there.
“Why are you confused?” she asked, finally turning. “When you say things like that, it comes off like—”
“Like I like you?” I said, and it felt like a relief to say. “Maybe it’s because I’ve talked to you more than anyone else. Maybe because I was heartbroken after Hannah, and you could see right through me, and it didn’t seem like a big deal anymore. Maybe it’s because you make my whole family seem brighter. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know how I got here. One moment you were just that other woman who got hurt too, and then you were Guinevere. Funny, weird, talented, beautiful Guinevere, and I’m thinking about how you smell like rain, and whether you’ve eaten. I don’t know how it happened, all I know is that I’m thinking about you, and not just like a friend.”