Tess of the Road

Angelica rolled toward the wall, wrapping her arms around her head. Tess knew how shamed she must feel, but she had to deal with the priest first.

“You’re a boor, rushing in here so violently,” said Father Erique. “And you’ve got it all wrong. St. Munn’s is not a celibate order, and we Ninysh have more enlightened attitudes toward these things than you Goreddis do.”

Tess stomped his bare foot with her boot. He howled.

She could have killed him, broken his naked body into a thousand pieces. She writhed with the urge to do him violence, but…no. She was more than just a priest-puncher, and there was always one more trick to try.

Tess called to Angelica, “Get dressed and find me some rope. Please.”

Tess turned her back to give the girl some privacy. Wrangling Father Erique took all her concentration; he was a slippery wriggler. She wrestled him into the main room, into his armchair, and waited for Angelica. It took several minutes for the serving girl to slouch in from the kitchen and hand Tess the rope.

“Thank you, Angelica,” said Tess gently, trying to reassure the serving girl, who looked sick. She would still think Tess was a man, and who knew what he intended to do with her?

“You’re safe now,” said Tess, who didn’t dare reveal her identity to this priest.

    Angelica looked away, pushing tangled blond hair out of her face.

Tess bound Father Erique hand and foot, feeling that she ought to preach while she worked. The scriptures must’ve addressed the monstrosity he’d committed—how could they not?—but she hadn’t been taught those lines. St. Vitt had scoldings aplenty for the woman who led a priest toward sin, though. Tess recited these, turning them inside out for Angelica’s sake.

“?‘Woman, do not submit,’?” Tess misquoted. “?‘If a man be tempted by thee, thou art not a temptress. If a man be led to sin, his sin is not added to your tally.’?”

“That’s backward,” said Father Erique.

“Shut up,” said Tess. She held the rope against his mouth, considering whether to gag him, but decided against it. “Angelica, please find me ink and quill and parchment.”

Angelica sullenly searched the cabinet. Tess wrote a sign in a plain ecclesiastic hand: I, Father Erique, forced myself upon my serving girl and offered her body to houseguests. I am a terrible priest. Take me to the local lord and subject me to the harshest justice the law allows.

Tess laid the parchment between his feet so as not to blunt the full impact of his nudity. He’d feel humiliated to be found this way; no more justice than that was guaranteed, alas. Who knew what the lord would say, or what lies Erique would tell. Slippery wriggler.

“I never used force,” he said, reading upside down.

Tess needed to get gone before she punched him. She gathered her things. “I will find you, Brother Jacomo,” cried the priest, struggling against his bonds. “I will have my revenge.”

    “I doubt it,” said Tess, shouldering her pack. She glanced around, but Angelica had evaporated. “Angelica?” Tess called. Quiet sounds at the back of the house grew quieter. Tess looked into the girl’s room; Angelica froze like a hare scenting hounds. She’d thrown a homespun woolen gown over her chemise and taken up a bundle of belongings.

“Oh, good,” said Tess, surprised to see her ready to go. “Let’s get you out of here.”

Angelica glanced at her open window, then put her head down and followed Tess out past Father Erique, who shouted, “Don’t you dare, Angelica! Your name will be blackened in this village. I’ll see your family suffer. Untie me, and all will be forgiven. We’ll live as if nothing had happened.”

Angelica turned back and kicked him so viciously that his chair fell backward. Tess, shocked despite her sympathy, scrambled to set him upright and then rushed into the frigid predawn after Angelica.

She wasn’t on the road. Tess listened until she heard what sounded like a clumsy deer picking its way through the wooded glade behind the vicarage. Tess plunged into the brush after her, but the closer she got, the faster Angelica went, until they were both running flat out, as fast as the tangled thicket would let them.

They burst into a field of unharvested oilseed, desiccated seedpods rattling and bursting as they passed. Tess rapidly gained on Angelica now, but she didn’t want to tackle the girl and terrify her even more. Tess tried speaking: “Wait, please, Angelica….You can’t just go running off by yourself. We’ve got to get you someplace safe.”

    Angelica wheeled to face Tess, murder in her eyes. “I’ll go…nowhere…with you…,” she panted.

“I won’t hurt you,” said Tess, holding up her hands. “I’m not like him—”

“The devil you aren’t,” snarled Angelica, breaking off a thick oilseed stalk and slashing the air in front of her. It sounded like a whip.

“I’m not a man. I’m only dressed like one. My name is Tess.” Her name felt strange in her mouth. “I’ve run away from home. Just like you.”

For the merest moment Angelica froze in astonishment, her blue eyes wide, her hair a wild, bright corona in the morning sun. Then with a shriek, Angelica launched herself at Tess, nails, fists, stalk, and teeth. Tess was strong enough to fend her off, but slow to understand she was being attacked. She got a stinging scratch along her cheekbone.

“What’s the matter with you?” Tess cried, growing angry. It had cost her considerable courage and effort to confront Father Erique, and while she hadn’t done it merely for gratitude, she hadn’t expected this.

“You ruined everything!” Angelica cried. “D’you think I couldn’t take care of myself? I was stealing coppers from the offering plates, saving up.” She pulled a purse out of her bodice and jingled it. “I had a plan, you meddling bitch. I was going to escape—me, myself. I’d’ve poisoned his nasty—”

“So I saved you from becoming a murderer, too,” Tess burst in hotly. “You’re welcome.”

“You’re not!” shouted Angelica, whipping the stalk. Tess had to duck to keep from getting it in the eye. “I don’t have enough saved up to make a decent go of it, thanks to you, and I didn’t even get my revenge. I owe you nothing, and you can just piss off!”

    Tess had a momentary, terrible impulse to throw the ungrateful girl over her shoulder, run her back to the village, and dump her there. Her better nature prevailed, however. She felt in her pouch for a large coin and held it out between two fingers. Angelica eyed her suspiciously but darted in and snatched the money. Then she took off running again.

Tess did not follow, but she couldn’t help calling after: “You’re not safe traveling by yourself!”

No sooner were the words out of her mouth than Tess realized she sounded like Will, who’d escorted her across town a hundred times to keep her safe. What a fantastic job he’d done, too. She felt dizzy and disconcerted.

Angelica turned and made an obscene gesture. “Devils take you!” she cried. “I will burn the earth!” And then she was across the field, disappearing into a hedgerow.

Tess watched her go, feeling hollow and miserable, but wondering what she might have done if things had been reversed. She wasn’t sure that she’d have been any more gracious to a knight in shining armor.

In fact, now that she thought about it, she’d been every bit as hostile. Countess Margarethe probably still hated her for it.

The world was littered with all the babies she’d thrown out with their bathwater. She’d burned bridges while standing on them. She, of all people, knew what that was like.

She kissed her knuckle and turned her face south, back to her own road, blinking hard against the stinging wind.





Tess reached Segosh upon a crystalline autumn morning that had left a chill in her bones upon waking. It was time to get indoors, though she felt reluctant to leave the Road behind.