I clicked “ignore.”
The crowd parted. The boy who’d spoken up not once but twice now threaded his way through the opening. He came so close, I half expected him to shove me over. He was tall but standing on the balustrade I was much taller. He gritted his teeth and spoke in a low tone so others couldn’t hear.
“Look, Cass, maybe the Sunshine was a mistake for you. Call it a bad trip. Or whatever. I don’t know. But you’re wigging out right now.” He leaned a couple inches forward and studied the drop into the pool. “Why don’t you go home and sleep it off. It’ll all seem better in the morning.”
I bent down closer to him. “See, that’s the thing, though. Maybe I don’t want it to be better.”
Paisley threw up her hands. “That’s it. I’m calling the cops.”
The boy whipped around. “Wait.” He ran his hands through his hair and gripped the back of his neck. “Wait, wait. Dammit. Wait. I gave her something. It’s just a stupid pill. I don’t know why she’s acting like this. But she’ll have it in her system. Don’t call the cops.”
Paisley folded her arms over her chest and shook her head. “You little sneak. You little druggie sneak.”
“This is my fault,” he said. Then he turned to me, pleading. “Cass, please, you’re going to hurt yourself.” He reached up and wrapped his fingers around my wrist. I went rigid for a split second before I pounced down from the flat rail, like something feral.
His eyes went wide as I spun him around and pressed his back to the railing. He hung, back suspended partway into open air, my forearm pressed against his Adam’s apple. “What’s your name again?” I asked.
His pupils darted in between the corners of his eyes. “Are you serious?” I pressed my forearm harder into his throat. “Liam,” he choked.
“Okay, then, Liam. If you touch me again, you’ll come away without any fingers.” He gargled as I pressed hard one more time and then released him. “Besides, this place is dead.”
I shoved my way through the group, not caring if I stepped on toes or knocked an elbow into someone’s rib. On the way out of Paisley’s house, I closed the door so hard, I heard the crash of china as it shattered on marble behind me. I felt as though my heart was separating from my chest, as though my humanity was shattering into a trillion tiny pieces lying scattered on the ground, as though I was getting stronger with every step. Taking over.
Once in my car, I jammed my foot on the accelerator. The wheels spun and the scent of burnt rubber sprung from the asphalt. I peeled away from Paisley’s house feeling like I’d burned more than my tires. I’d burned the bridges to Cassidy’s life. And soon, nothing could raise it from the ash.
FIFTEEN
Cassidy
“Cassidy, what are you doing? We’re here.” Honor unfastened her seat belt.
I blinked and my eyes felt scratchy and dry, like I’d been staring off into space. “Huh?”
She nodded and gave me a you’re crazy look. “We’re at school,” she said in a tone like I couldn’t understand English. “Aren’t you coming?”
I looked around. Outside of my windshield a typical morning at Hollow Pines High was taking place. The bright light of day burned my pupils. I squinted and fished around the side compartment for a pair of sunglasses. “When—how—?” I stammered because I had no recollection of driving here. Like at all.
I stared out at the students filing into the school building and rifled through my memory for the last solid one I could find. As soon as I located it, my insides lurched. The duct tape. The hidden keys. The cough syrup.
It took a moment for that to all sink in. When it did, it wasn’t pretty.
“Crap,” I said, which felt like a totally inane thing to say given the circumstances. “Crap,” I repeated, lowering my forehead to the steering wheel. The horn blared.
I tried to steady my breathing while something like hysteria began to stampede around in my chest. How did I get here? What was I doing? Focus, Cassidy. Try to remember. You must have gotten up this morning. Gone through your morning routine …
Honor yanked me back by my shoulders. “What are you doing?” she hissed. “You’re embarrassing me. Scratch that, you’re embarrassing you.”
Honor squirmed in her seat and looked around to see if anyone was watching.
She leaned toward me. Her hazel eyes searched mine. “What are you freaking out about? You haven’t said a word all morning.”
Cue: another round of terror. It wasn’t the obvious kind that had me reaching for a paper bag to breathe into. That kind of terror would be far, far better. Instead, this panic was like a thousand termites hatching eggs inside my throat, multiplying and gnawing at my fleshy guts.
“I—I haven’t?” I held my hands in front of my face. Sure enough, they were trembling.