I made it down the hallway in time to see Adam punch his fist through drywall. The crunching sound reverberated in my head, and I had to shut my eyes against it. Too loud, Adam, I wanted to say. But my lips felt as if they belonged to someone else.
“Christ, dude! That’s my wall!” Knox hollered over the music, which had revived into the soundtrack of my own personal nightmare.
I stretched out my arm, reaching for Adam and misjudging the distance, because now it seemed as though he was much farther away. So much space stretched between us. He tore out chunks of plaster when he jerked his hand, unfeeling, out of the hole he’d left, and went after Cassidy.
My chest tightened. My brain wouldn’t function. All I could see was the crumbling of Cassidy’s face. The tears splashing her cheeks. Adam’s fist charging through a wall.
A sea of unfriendly faces glared at me. I swatted the air. My cheeks drooped along with the corners of my mouth. My tongue, suddenly too big for my mouth, was working up words. I wobbled sideways. The house zoomed in and out of focus. The judging faces surrounded me. Everywhere I turned. Mean. Nasty. “You don’t know me,” I slurred. “I’m a genius.” I poked my finger into my chest. “A real live genius!”
Someone whistled. “All aboard for the train wreck.”
They laughed. They were all laughing. It roared inside me. I pressed my fists into my eye sockets. Make it stop, make it stop.
“Maybe you should lie down.” There were gentle fingers on my shoulder. I thought vaguely that they belonged to Knox, but I wasn’t sure. I tried to remember why this mattered. “You can use my room,” the voice said. “It has a big, comfortable bed with your name on it.”
I whimpered at the mention of bed. Yes, please. Bed. Even the word sounded enchanting. Yes, yes, let me crawl under the covers. I thought I managed a nod. Wet sand filled every inch of my body. I leaned on the arm that was offered to me. It was too much effort to keep my eyes open, so I didn’t. Instead, I caught flashes of carpet through my lashes. Muted footsteps. A lock clicked. A door creaked. Inside there was a dark room that smelled like cologne. I needed to lie down. There was that word, only now it was in object form and it was even more enchanting than when I’d heard it suggested. Bed.
“You’ll feel better in the morning,” said the Knox-voice. He led me to the great, big, fluffy bed. I dragged myself onto the mattress and fell into a heap on top of the comforter.
I felt like I was floating. I stretched my hand out in front of my face. It seemed as if it belonged to somebody else. There was something I was supposed to remember. Something important.
“Just for a second,” I mumbled. “Just need to lie down.”
He ran his hands through my hair. Only, it didn’t feel like my hair. It felt like someone else’s, too. How funny. I watched a shadow lean down, and then there was a warm mouth on mine. I didn’t know what I did with my lips. I hated the taste, but I couldn’t move. I was consumed by the bed, which seemed to have taken hold of me like a Venus flytrap. If Venus flytraps could be fluffy clouds of comfort.
“Knox!” A girl’s voice drifted in to meet us. “Where are you?” I was drifting, too.
A finger replaced the lips. “Shhhh,” he said. I shut my eyes. I heard footsteps. “I’ll be right back.” The door clicked again.
I wanted him to take his time. Finally, I could sleep. Finally, finally, finally …
The weight of a deep, dark slumber wrapped itself around my torso and pulled me under. Conscious thought lapped at the edges of my mind. I was supposed to remember something. It was bothering me. Like an itch on the bottom of my foot that I was too lazy to scratch.
Sometimes I could lay awake for hours at night while my mind spun off into a dozen universes of thought. But this was the opposite. This felt like someone had poured Pepto-Bismol between my ears. My mind was quiet. Too quiet. Except for this one stubborn thought that wasn’t a thought at all.
Why did I feel so funny? The answer rose slowly to the surface like bubbles. Knox.
My drink. Knox and my drink. I tried to connect the two ends, forcing myself to roll onto my side. I let out a pathetic moan and peeled open my eyelids. I was still in the dark room. On the big, fluffy bed. Knox’s bed. The door was closed. I needed to get out of there.
I hoisted one leg over the edge, followed by the other, and slid to the floor. Somehow, in the last two hours, I had gained about a thousand pounds. Pushing myself to my feet, I stumbled for the door. It took me three times to grip the door handle and then to twist it. The light from the hallway nearly blinded me.