“They’re handing out ribbons,” Owen said.
I craned to see Principal Wiggins shaking the hand of the third-place winner. I tapped my foot, wishing he would get on with it already. The next place should have been second, but I saw Principal Wiggins walking our way.
I looked around, seeing what other candidates there were for second place. Before I knew it, though, Principal Wiggins was standing in front of us.
I swallowed hard. “Congratulations on a fantastic science fair project,” he said, extending his hand to Owen. He then said something else, but I wasn’t listening. He reached his hand out to me, but all I could do was stare at the color of the ribbon he held in his hand. It was red. And after he was finished shaking my hand, he fastened the red ribbon to our board. I bit into the side of my cheek until I tasted blood. I didn’t stop until Principal Wiggins had moved on to find the first-place winner.
“What is wrong with you?” Owen leaned over.
Suddenly it felt like I didn’t know Owen at all anymore. I had thought he was the one person who got me, but here he was wondering what was wrong with me, and he had never seemed more alien.
“What’s wrong with me?” I ripped the red ribbon, tearing the poster board in the process. I stared at the second-place prize and then crumpled it in my fist. I felt tears burning my eyes, and my nose starting to run. I lowered my head. “Really, Owen?”
He came to stand beside me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I know you lost him. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so harsh.”
I sniffled, and with tears blurring my vision, I looked up at him, wiping spit from my lower lip. “It’s just such a shame that the experiment had to end. I worked so hard to tie up everything with McCardle, but—”
Owen’s eyes narrowed. His body separated from me. I felt the cold spot where his torso had been. “What do you mean, ‘tie up everything with McCardle,’” he said slowly.
“Just that he’s dead, that’s all.”
“Adam was a person, Tor.” It was like Owen’s brain was spinning. He turned on the spot and tugged at his hair. “Oh my God, you actually did it. I knew it. I knew that moment. You killed him on purpose.” His head shake was slow and disbelieving now. He pressed a fist to his lips. “What did you do, Tor?”
My tears dried. I wished that they wouldn’t have. The delivery would have been so much better if only I reacted like other people. Even with Owen. That was what he wanted. I knew that now. But I couldn’t cry. Like I’d said before, I wasn’t that good of an actress.
“He killed people, Owen. He killed people and he knew the truth. It’s not a big loss for the universe.”
Color drained from his face. “McCardle did what he did out of grief.” He stared at me for a long moment. He bit down on his lower lip. “You made this whole mess, Tor. It was you. None of this would have happened otherwise. None of it. Adam may have been unnatural, but you Tor…” His nostrils flared, he pointed his finger at me, and I knew what he was thinking. That I was the monster.
In the end, I watched Owen go, and I felt mostly as I felt with all people—detached. Like I was watching an argument happen to someone else. I wiped the leftover tears from under my eyes and squeezed the wrinkled ribbon that was growing sweaty in my palm.
I found the first-place winner not far away on a fancy corkboard designed to look like a space background. On it, the winner had pinned personal photographs she had taken days earlier. All were of a giant lightning storm that had been witnessed just this past week in Hollow Pines. She explained in great detail through paragraphs she had clearly pulled from articles on the Internet what might create such an intense “lightning event.”
When the girl wandered away, I tore the pictures down and put them in my pocket. These belonged to my father, and they would come in handy as part of my research.
After all, I figured, I could always use them. For next time.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
THIS BOOK WOULD literally not exist without Liz Gateley and Tony DiSanto, who both nurtured and guided the story of Tor and Adam since its inception. Liz, you have acted as a mentor, always striking the perfect balance between encouragement, critique, and business savvy, while, Tony, you have invariably understood what I’m trying to achieve in no small part because of your limitless creative references, which, of course, are always on point. Thank you to the team at DiGa Vision for not only creating some of my favorite TV shows, but also for being behind this book.