She laughs. “Just gather them up and put them in the hamper. I’ll do the rest,” she says, setting the basket down. “It’s like magic, isn’t it? How they just show up folded on your bed.”
“Magic’s awesome,” I say.
“I’m going out to get some milk for dinner; your sister drinks more than a high school wrestler.”
“We need more Halloween candy, too,” I say, sheepishly.
“You didn’t.”
“I may have partaken of some. You need to find a better hiding place.” I cower down, and hang my head in mock shame. “Tate gave me some, what was I supposed to do?” I smile.
“Bringing your little sister into your lies; you are shameful.” She grins up at me. “I may have had some, too.”
I laugh. “See, and you’re my role model. Who’s the shameful one now?”
“I’ll be back. If the kids come early, just give them the shitty candy from Easter.”
“Gross. Okay.”
Her keys jingle as she leaves and closes the door behind her. I’m heading to my room when I hear a whisper floating on the air. I move closer to the voice.
“I know. My wife just left, so I can meet up with you. I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
It’s my dad’s voice. He’s talking to her.
“I love you too. Can’t wait to see you.”
Bile churns in my throat. I catch myself on the wall, flattening my hands against it and sink to the floor. Rage builds in my heart.
He promised he’d stop seeing her if I didn’t tell.
You have tell her.
? ? ?
The memory slinks away as the drug washes over me. Everything feels cozy and warm. A fuzzy haze surrounds every object I look at. The light bends and my feet feel like they’re not touching the ground. Then I check my phone for the time and see the texts from Jackson.
J: Be there soon
J: Don’t try to get out of this. You said J: ARE YOU IGNORING ME ELLERY STEVENS?
J: Ok ok. But I’m still picking you up at seven J: I’m outside your house. It’s raining
It’s 6:45.
Jackson and Janie have roped me into a double date with, of all people, Colter’s friend Phillip, the guy in my History class.
Shoot me now.
I glance at the mirror long enough to make sure I don’t look like a prostitute with haphazard lipstick. The pill’s made it hard to put anything on straight. But I don’t care. I shove on my skinny jeans and T-shirt that Jackson said I should wear and walk out into the rainy dark, shielding my head with my purse as I run to Jackson’s car. He gestures to the back and I shove in next to Phillip.
He smiles at me. I smile my fake Happy Ellery smile at him.
His short blond hair is wet and droplets drip onto Jackson’s seats; his shirt is soaked and stuck to his body so you can see the contours of his muscles.
I only have one thought looking at him: He’s not Colter.
Why am I thinking that? It’s true that I feel bad for him, but there’s no way I actually feel something for him. That can’t be what’s happening. No, I’m still reeling from his vulnerability last night, that’s all this is. I search my heart for an answer, but find it hollow and empty, like a glass that has remnants of liquid on the sides. There was something once there, something that filled it, but it’s all gone.
Jackson pulls out of my driveway, heads down the street, and enters the highway. I listen to Janie and Jackson fight about the music selection for at least ten minutes.
Phillip texts something to someone, then looks over at me. “Thanks for coming out. Wasn’t sure you’d want to.”
“No problem. It sounded fun,” I lie.
He gives me a sideways glance. “I’ll admit, when Jackson said you were coming I was surprised.”
“Oh yeah?” I was, too.
“Yeah, I just didn’t think you’d want to.”
“Why not?” I’m genuinely curious.
“Colter told me . . . I mean—”
“What did he tell you?” I fight not to sound so desperate but when someone holds a secret of yours, anything that person says about you makes you on edge.
Phillip shifts in his seat and doesn’t answer. “It’s nothing.”
I want to scream, It’s not nothing. I need to know all the words! But I don’t say anything until Jackson pulls into the drive-in parking lot.
“We’re heeeeere,” Jackson jokes in a high-pitched voice.
I laugh and kick his seat.
We park next to a rusted-looking speaker that’s really only for looks—everything is digital, but we love it because the drive-in keeps it authentic. Jackson and I have been coming here for years, watching old movies in black and white and even a few of the new ones. There’s something really comforting about sitting in your car with the windows rolled down, watching an old movie. Tonight’s isn’t old; it’s the new horror reboot about clowns in space.
The movie starts and I realize quickly we’re not here to see the actual movie. Janie and Jackson are smothering each other in the front seat, steaming up the windows.
“This isn’t why I came. Hello?” I say.
Phillip laughs beside me. “They can’t hear you,” he whispers in my ear. Goosebumps break out on my skin. Everything feels hazy and something hot builds in me as I listen to them moan.