I breathed her in until she calmed, until the heaving of her chest stopped and she was quiet. She clung onto me, as though we’d never be separated again, and in that moment I was glad Helen’s dad had found out about us. For all the pain and the anguish I was glad it had come to a head enough to set us free. It was the most perverse favour of all time, but he’d done it for us.
I lifted my face from Helen’s hair and her mum was staring, eyes wide and hand over her mouth. Her cheeks were tear-streaked, and she made a wretched sound as she met my eyes.
“It’s done,” I said to her, and my voice was kind and calm. “I’m resigning. I’ll leave town, it’s fine.”
Helen struggled in my grip, struggled to face her mum. “I’m going…” she said, and her resilience had turned tail, rushing straight back to roost. “I’m going wherever Mark goes and I don’t care what Dad has to say about it. I just don’t care.”
Her mum’s face crumpled into tears, and then she stepped forward and picked up my letter. She turned it in her hands, stared at it as though she’d never seen an envelope before.
“I’ve been carrying that around for weeks,” I said. “I’d have handed it in a long time ago if your daughter wasn’t so determined to be stubbornly noble.”
The faintest smile crept across her lips. “She gets that from her dad.” She put the letter back down and looked at Helen. “Go and wait for me in the car, love.”
Helen shook her head. “No.”
“Please, love. I’ll be right out, I just want to have a word with Mr Roberts.”
“Why?”
Her mother sighed, and I felt bad for her. I kissed Helen’s head. “Maybe you should let your mum have a minute,” I said. “It can’t hurt, Helen.”
She tipped her head from side to side. “No. It can’t. It’s already hurt enough.” She pulled herself from my arms, but it was a slow affair. She raised herself on her toes and kissed my mouth, and she was clammy and beautiful and perfect. She walked to the door slowly. “I’ll be in the car,” she said.
***
“This should never have happened!” Helen’s mum said. And I agreed with her. I told her so.
“This isn’t right! She’s so young!” I agreed with that, too.
And then she broke, and she sobbed. I waited until she’d regained her composure without saying a word.
“I hoped you’d be a pervert. That would have been easier…”
“Sorry to disappoint you.”
She laughed a sad laugh. “I wanted to believe what we were doing was right, but I couldn’t.” She put a hand to her chest. “Helen was so alive, I watched her come out of herself in front of my eyes. You took my little girl,” she cried, “and you made her such a happy young woman. I could see it. She was happier than I’ve ever seen her in her life.”
It choked me up. “I’m sorry.”
She wiped her eyes. “How can you be sorry for that?”
“It was inappropriate.”
“Yes, it was, but look at her now! Look at my little girl. She doesn’t eat, she doesn’t sleep, all she does is cry. And I have to say to myself, what’s worse? What’s really worse? Her being happy with someone she shouldn’t, or being devastated without them?”
The question was entirely rhetorical. Her eyes moved to Helen’s painting and filled again. “Helen’s always been an unusual child. She’s not like the others, never has been. She’s… complicated, and deep, and sensitive…”
“She’s a wonderful woman,” I said. “Helen’s a very gifted artist, and she’s a credit to you. She’s kind, and she’s smart…”
“You love her, don’t you?” She sighed. “You actually love her. This is real.” She picked up the envelope again. “Enough to toss everything in for.”
“Easily enough to toss everything in for,” I said.
She let the tears fall. “I was eighteen when I met Helen’s dad. He forgets this, of course. I had Helen at twenty. My dad thought George was too old for me, all of a five-year age gap.”
I smiled. “You’ve done a fantastic job with Helen, truly. She thinks the world of you both. If she didn’t, we wouldn’t be here.”
“Everything’s so regimented with George. He doesn’t understand. He thinks he’s doing right by her, but he’s never really understood her. I don’t either, but at least I know I don’t.”
“He’s got every right to be angry,” I said. “You both have. I respect that.”
She shook her head. “He’s so stubborn. He’s too stubborn.” She smiled. “Stupid old goat, he is, but it lasted, me and him. It really lasted.” She stared at me, and I felt myself burn up. “She’s made a right mess of you,” she laughed, and pointed to my shirt. I couldn’t help but smile at the double meaning. I looked down, and sure enough I was covered in paint and tears.
“Yes,” I laughed. “Yes, she has.”
“She really loves you, you know. We had so much trouble over the years with her little crush.” She sighed. “Thought she’d grow out of it. Only she didn’t. And now it’s real.”
“I hope so.”
“I know so, Mr Roberts. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. I’ve seen it in her eyes these past few weeks when her heart’s been breaking. I saw it in her smile when she was happy.”