“What’s going on?” he said.
I didn’t know quite where to start, so I started with Dad, blurting out a string of childish it’s not fairs before I even managed to convey the actuality of the situation.
He tipped his head from side to side. “It’s not ideal, but we’ll manage.”
“How?” I said. “Mum’s doing loads of shifts to make up for the holiday downtime. I’ll be stuck in every night.”
“For two weeks, Helen. It’s not the end of the world.” He smiled, and I felt like a petulant kid. “We’ll sort something out.”
“I hope so.”
“I know so.”
“But if we don’t?”
“If we don’t, then we’ll make up for it over the next two weeks, or the two after that. This isn’t disappearing anywhere, Helen. You can relax.”
The tension in me uncoiled. “Sorry. I’m being silly. A drama llama.”
He laughed. “You’re entitled to be a drama llama sometimes. It’s nice you’re bothered.”
“Of course I’m bothered.” My eyes could have eaten him up. “You look good. I like the tie.”
“You look young,” he said. “It’s amazing how quickly I’ve come to expect you out of uniform.”
“I hate it. I feel like a kid.”
“You’re hardly a child, Helen. I think we’ve established that rather comprehensively, don’t you?”
I could feel the blush. “I hate not being able to touch you.”
“The same applies.”
“I hate not being able to kiss you, or say whatever I want to say.”
“I fully concur.”
“I can’t wait for the Easter break.”
He smiled. “You won’t find any disagreement from my side, Helen.”
“I don’t want to be at school anymore. I want to be home, with you.”
He sighed. “Enough of that. School first, always.”
“I know, I know.” I groaned, and decided to spill. “Lizzie hates me.”
He looked surprised. “I’m sure Elizabeth doesn’t hate you, Helen.”
“She does. She was with Rachel Panter this morning and she didn’t even have two words for me.”
He shrugged. “Maybe she was just preoccupied. I’m sure she’s capable of having more than one friend.”
“We’ve always just had each other. I don’t get it. I tried calling her, tried messaging…”
“Then you have little to worry about, I’m sure.”
“She doesn’t seem to see it that way.”
“She will,” he said. “It’s first day back, give it a little time. I’m sure this will pass.”
I smiled. “Why are you so calm all the time? You’re just so… perfect.”
He laughed. “Hardly, Helen. Hardly.”
“I wish I found all this as easy as you do.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You think I find this easy?”
I felt a flutter in my belly. “Don’t you?”
His eyes smouldered in a way that was wholly inappropriate, and I was right back at his, spread-eagled and helpless, squealing with glee as he pushed himself all the way inside.
“I’ve just spent two glorious weeks with a beautiful young woman in my home, Helen, in my bed. A beautiful young woman whose love has driven me to put everything on the line… to break my own code of ethics… to pack up every memory of my old life to make room for the new. You think I can just switch that off? You think it doesn’t drive me crazy having you so close under these circumstances?” His fingers brushed my cheek. “It’s all I can do to be professional right now, and that’s for your sake as much as mine.”
“I love you,” I whispered. “It feels so wrong not to be able to touch you.”
He took a step forward and I took a step back, until I was pressed to the wall, wedged tight between the paint racks. He took my hands in his and placed them on his chest, and I moved them, slipped them under his jacket with a moan. I could feel his skin, hot through his shirt, the familiar bulk of him, every ripple of his body, and mine came alive, wanting and needing and fluttering until my legs had parted for his and the heat of him was against me.
He pressed his hands to the wall over my head like a barrier. “We can’t,” he said, and his breath was ragged. “It’s too risky.”
But I couldn’t stop, my hands snaked around his waist, down to his ass, where I pulled him closer, and my mouth was at his neck, breathing him in.
“Helen… we can’t.” But his eyes didn’t match his words, and with a groan his lips met mine, and opened. His tongue pushed deep, and his heart was pounding against mine. His fingers slid between me and the wall, and cupped my ass, before snaking under the hem of my skirt. I moaned when he hit bare skin, and his palms ghosted up my thighs. His thumbs hooked inside my knickers and I sucked in breath.
And then there was noise, the familiar creak of the door.