“Kline Brooks,” I introduced myself, offering my hand.
“Dick. Dick Cummings.” He shook my hand with fervor, purposely trying his damnedest to crush my fingers.
Dick Cummings? Thank God Thatch wasn’t here. He would have had a field day with that one.
“His full name is Richard,” Georgia’s mother interrupted, forcing her way into the open doorway. “I’m Savannah, by the way. It really is a pleasure, Kline.”
“Stop with the formality shit, Savannah. If the man can’t handle that I’m Dick Cummings, then he’s not the right man for our Georgie,” he retorted, eyeing me with slanty eyes. “Does it bother you, Kline?”
“No, sir,” I answered, fighting the urge to laugh. I literally hadn’t even set foot inside of the door to their house yet, and a full-length daytime drama was rounding its way into the second arc of the storyline.
“Son.” He patted me on the shoulder, nudging the girls out of the way and pulling me inside.
“When you’ve got a last name like Cummings, you can either be a chickenshit, or you can grow some balls and roll with it. That’s why I go by Dick and I had my son go by Willy for most of his life. Hell, Georgia’s lucky we didn’t name her vagina,” he said through a laugh. “Plus, it’s pretty fucking enjoyable to watch someone squirm when they meet me.” He grinned, big and wide, his eyes turning jovial. “You handled yourself well. Much better than the other idiots Georgie’s brought home. I like you already.”
“Jesus, Dad.” Georgie sighed. “Think you can tone done the F-bombs for now? It’s not even five p.m.”
“No siree, Bob. You’re in my home and I’ll do anything I damn well please. If I want to walk around in my underwear all night, I’ll fucking do it,” he responded, unfazed. “Anyway, like you should talk. Last phone conversation I had with you, you were ranting about ‘the fucking subway.’”
“And five o’clock is an antiquated schedule associated with alcohol, Georgia. The fucks have always been given free rein,” Savannah put in.
Georgia’s parents were a trip. I was having a hard time keeping my smile in check.
“Come here and give me another hug,” her dad ordered. “I’ve missed you, baby girl.”
She flashed a pointed look. “Only if you promise not to bust my boyfriend’s balls all night.”
“Deal.” He grinned.
She hugged her dad, a genuine smile on her face, and then moved to her mom. Hugs and smiles overflowed the small space of the foyer. It was apparent she was close with her folks. I loved we had that in common.
“And Richard.” Savannah tsked. “You know the no-pants rule doesn’t start until after dinner.”
He growled under his breath, wrapping his arm around his wife and whispering something I could only assume was full-on dirty into her ear.
“Later.” Savannah giggled, a perfect incarnation of what I knew as her daughter’s laugh, and slapped him on the chest.
He chuckled, waggling his brows at her, visibly amused with himself.
“Why don’t you two make yourselves comfortable and freshen up from the drive. There’s fresh sheets on Georgia’s bed and clean towels in the bathroom.”
Dick abruptly turned for the hallway, striding toward the kitchen, muttering something about “the fucking grill.”
Her mother still remained, smiling at both of us in a way that made me a little concerned about what would come next. “There’s also a box of condoms on the nightstand,” she whispered. “Feel free to put them to good use.”
“Gee, thanks, Mom.” Georgia sighed, tipping her red face to the ceiling in an effort not to meet my eyes.
“Anytime, baby girl.” Savannah patted her cheek, smiling. “I’m just thrilled you’re finally being adventurous with your sexuality.”
This meet the parents visit was getting more interesting by the minute.
“Dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes,” she called over her shoulder, following her husband’s lead.
The second they were out of eyesight, Georgia sagged against the door.
“I told you they were a little offbeat. Please don’t hold it against me.”
I grinned, pulling her into my arms, and avoided the urge to tell her that her definition of a little felt more like a lot. “I love everything about your parents.”
Her eyes showed she was skeptical, but I spoke only the truth. I’d take a free spirit and a ballbuster over two sticks in the mud any day.
“They’re your parents, baby. Believe me, I like them. Dick and Savannah are great.”
“Yeah, they’re real awesome. I mean, how great is it that my mother thought to put condoms in my bedroom, you know, just in case we decide to bang it out when they’re two doors down.”
“Very practical.” I fought my smile, rubbing her shoulders to ease the tension in her muscles.
“Come on.” She took my hand. “Let me show you my childhood bedroom. Who knows? Maybe my mother left a complimentary bottle of lube on the nightstand.”