“But I’m not rushing you.” He cupped my cheek, eyes tender. “You hold the power. You decide when it’s right.”
My hands found their way into his hair again, grasping the strands and pulling his face to mine. I kissed him like I’d never kissed him before. My mouth plundered his lips and tongue, taking what they wanted. I was out of my mind with feelings for this man. I had just told him I wanted to have sex, and he’d done the opposite of what I’d expected. He slowed us down, trying to make sure I was making the right decision for myself.
I didn’t need time to think, because Kline was right. He was all of the rights.
And I wanted to give him another part of myself.
“I want this. I want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.” I wrapped my legs around his hips, pulling him closer to where I was desperate for him. He settled between my thighs, his hardened cock pressing against me.
My body shook in anticipation. This moment was why I had waited so long to take this step. I wasn’t na?ve, expecting my first time to be beside a fire or surrounded by rose petals on a bed. I wasn’t expecting cheesy lines of undying devotion or an engagement ring. I just wanted to make sure it was meaningful, that it was with someone I trusted, someone I cared about. And most importantly, I needed it to be someone who cared about me too, who wouldn’t intentionally hurt me—not just physically, but emotionally as well.
Everyone had their own views on sex. Some people could have sex for the pure act itself. They could savor spending the night with a gorgeous stranger and have no lingering doubts or feelings nagging them the next day.
I had always been able to leave my emotions at the door when it came to an oral exchange. But when it came to full-on penis penetration, home run sex, I knew I couldn’t approach it with that same mindset.
To me, intercourse was more intimate than oral. There was something about looking directly into a person’s eyes while your bodies became one. I knew that type of sex had to be something more than just physical for me.
I trusted Kline so much, and I’d come to do it quickly. But I felt the way he cared about me with every kiss, every smile, every lingering touch. With him, it wouldn’t just be sex. He was more than that to me. I truly cared about him. My feelings for him ran deeper than I was ready to admit. The intensity and depth of those feelings had awareness hitting me like a wrecking ball.
My heart was on the line here, and I had just realized how much I could lose.
Fear drowned my mind, spilling into my eyes.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, assessing the uncertainty on my face, acutely in tune with my wavering thoughts.
“I’m scared,” I admitted.
He stared deep into my eyes. “There’s nothing to be scared of, Georgie. I’d never pressure you into doing something you’re not ready for.”
I wiped the worry from his brow. “I know that. Believe me, I know that.”
“Tell me what you’re scared of.” His eyes were so earnest. “I’ll do everything I can to fix it.”
This guy. I swallowed around my heart in my throat.
“I’m scared because…it’s so intense.” I fumbled to find the right words. “I just…I feel like I’m falling too fast with you. It’s scary as hell. I can’t ignore the fear that, one day, I’ll wake up and things will have ended badly between us. I don’t want to associate you with hurt in the end.”
He cupped my face, gazing down at me. “No matter what happens, baby, it will always be a good hurt for me. You make me feel alive. And I’ll do everything I can to make sure it’s the same goddamn experience for you.”
That look. There was a gentleness in his eyes that let me know I wasn’t the only one falling.
This wasn’t going to be just about sex for him either. This was more. He and I were going places, and his look said, “I’m falling too.”
And that look was why I reached for the nightstand to pull a condom from the drawer. The empty drawer.
His eyes followed me the whole way; I could feel them, but when I turned back to him, they were slightly pinched together.
“I thought there’d be condoms.”
He laughed a little, just enough to ease the tension and make me start to smile.
“There aren’t any condoms in the drawer.”
“Obviously,” I replied.
He smirked and rubbed at the skin of my waist. “I’ve never brought a woman here.”
A comforting statement to all, but somehow I managed to turn it on its head, panicking slightly, thinking that things were going to come to a very abrupt stop. I didn’t want them to. I was ready now.
“Please tell me you have condoms somewhere.”
He smiled fully at that. “In my bag.”