I replayed past convos with Ruck in my head. I tended to be pretty open and honest with him, maybe a bit too much. The other night I had kept him up until one in the morning discussing why most men thought anal sex was a good idea.
He’d ended the conversation with, “I’m not going to speak on behalf of all men, because let’s face it, there are some real morons in my gender. But for me, when I really want a woman, I want to claim every part of her.”
See what I mean? He gives damn good convo.
That response made me instantly jealous of the woman Ruck had set his sights on. Even I couldn’t ignore the sexiness of Ruck going caveman and wanting to claim every part of her, whoever she was. Lucky bitch.
TAPRoseNEXT (2:30PM): There’s another reason I’m nervous.
BAD_Ruck (2:31PM): Okay…
BAD_Ruck (2:32PM): Are you going to freely give this reason or is this an invitation to pry?
TAPRoseNEXT (2:33PM): Ugh…
BAD_Ruck (2:34PM): Do you have a foot fetish you’re trying to hide?
TAPRoseNEXT (2:34PM): No. I don’t even like my own feet, much less anyone else’s.
BAD_Ruck (2:35PM): An ex-boyfriend’s name tattooed across your lower back?
TAPRoseNEXT (2:35PM): I do not have a tramp stamp!
BAD_Ruck (2:36PM): Hairy back moles?
TAPRoseNEXT (2:36PM): I’m a lady, Ruck. I’m smooth everywhere.
BAD_Ruck (2:37PM): Damn, Rose. Stop talking dirty to me. We’re trying to talk you off the ledge, remember? Not push me out onto it.
TAPRoseNEXT (2:40PM): I’m a virgin.
BAD_Ruck (2:41PM): An anal virgin?
TAPRoseNEXT (2:42PM): No. A certified, my-*-has-never-been-penetrated virgin.
BAD_Ruck (2:44PM): Jesus.
TAPRoseNEXT (2:45PM): That’s sweet, but we don’t have time to pray right now.
For what seemed like an hour, I watched the text box bubbles move as he gathered a response.
BAD_Ruck (2:48PM): This scenario deserves a prayer. Hell, it deserves an airplane banner with the words, “Get your shit together, men, because dreams can come true. There are still gorgeous, sexy, intelligent women out there who are saving themselves for the right guy.” Christ, I think you might be the last twenty-something virgin in New York.
The last twenty-something virgin in NYC? Gah. That did not make me feel better. That made me feel a hell of a lot worse. I sounded pathetic.
TAPRoseNEXT (2:50PM): That’s one crazy long banner. And thanks for the vote of confidence. I feel even worse about it now. I’m not a total prude, by the way. I’ve been with men. I know what a penis feels like in my mouth. I’ve just yet to find the right penis I deem worthy of sex.
BAD_Ruck (2:51PM): You’re killing me right now. Do you even realize how rare you are, Rose?
Now, I do. I was the last twenty-something virgin in New York! I might as well have offered up my vagina to the Museum of Natural History. Surely, it would be shown in the fossils display. I could already picture it, right beside Tyrannosaurus Rex’s teeth.
The Last Virginal Vagina in New York.
Georgia Cummings 1990-2080
Died happily in her Chelsea apartment, surrounded by all sixteen of her tabby cats.
TAPRoseNEXT (2:53PM): Yeah, I’m the last single virgin in NYC. I might as well start stocking up on cat food because my future is looking very glum at the moment.
BAD_Ruck (2:54PM): Rose. Listen to me. This is not a bad thing. You’re funny, intelligent, and obviously beautiful. And you’re confident enough to know what you want and how you want it. Your confidence and self-respect are sexy as hell.
TAPRoseNEXT (2:54PM): Well, when you put it that way, I sound really awesome.
BAD_Ruck (2:55PM): Because you are. So, tell me why your sexual history is even factoring as a problem in your mind?
TAPRoseNEXT (2:57PM): My experiences in telling a guy I’m a virgin have never ended well.
The reactions I received were not usually great. I either became a challenge, where getting into my pants became their sole purpose in life, or treated like some pariah, as if my virginity was a problem that needed a solution. Sometimes, I wondered if it would be easier telling a guy I had crabs.
BAD_Ruck (2:58PM): I can imagine. Most of us are just grunting cavemen.
TAPRoseNEXT (2:59PM): Exactly. And I can’t help but wonder what would happen if I told this guy I’m a virgin. He has potential. He could end up being more than just one date. I’m just worried if I tell him, I’ll end up being a challenge instead of something more.
Wow. Even I was surprised by that response. Did Kline Brooks really have the potential to be something more?