Noah says his favorite Portuguese swearword and pushes out of the chair again. He puts his hands on top of his head, long fingers threading through jet-black hair as he paces down the aisle of the train car.
“Noah, we had to leave. No. That’s not quite true. Jamie and Alexei and I … we had to run.”
My voice breaks and he hears it, turns very slowly, and says, “Why?”
This is it, of course. They have the right to know. More than a right. They need to know. But I can’t …
“He kinda has a point, Grace,” Rosie says, as if she thinks I’m getting ready to argue. What can I say, she knows me well. Rosie shrugs her small shoulders and goes on, “You disappear for weeks and then call Megan out of the blue and the next thing we know you’re acting like James Bond and having secret meetings with princesses. Not to mention that none of the stuff that Ann said on that recording made any sense.”
“It makes sense. I mean, it will make sense,” Alexei tries to explain.
“Grace, what happened?” Megan asks. “I mean, one moment we were all at the bonfire and then you were gone. You never came back to the embassy. Your grandfather and Ms. Chancellor wouldn’t even say your name. What happened that night?”
“The Night of a Thousand Amelias?” I ask, as if there could ever be any mistake. Megan nods, and I turn back to the dark glass. Outside, the world is just a dark, blurry shadow. It’s almost fitting as I say, “They stabbed Jamie.”
“What?” Noah lunges back to sit across from me.
“That night. Outside the palace. Remember, you and Megan saw me, and we got separated somehow. It was so loud and crowded and … smoky. There was so much smoke. I hate the smell of smoke. I always have, ever since …”
The fire.
Mom died.
I killed her.
“I hate the smell of smoke,” I say again. “But there I was. At the bonfire. And then I saw Jamie. But at first I didn’t think that it was Jamie. I thought it was Spence. Or Spence’s ghost,” I say, then give a sad little laugh. “See? Told you I was crazy.”
“You’re not crazy,” Rosie says. From her, it’s a little of a pot-kettle situation, but I smile anyway.
“Thanks,” I say. “Anyway, I saw someone who looked just like Spence, walking through the smoke and the firelight. You know how all the men were wearing masks and the women all had on those white dresses? It was …”
“Creepy,” Rosie says. “It was incredibly creepy.”
“Yeah. But I thought I was seeing Spence, and then when he got closer and took off his mask, I realized it was Jamie. And that’s when it occurred to me that if I thought Jamie was Spence, then maybe—”
“Spence’s killer thought Spence was Jamie,” Megan fills in.
I nod. “Exactly.”
For a second there is only silence and darkness and the smooth, swift motion of the train.
“Grace …” Noah prompts, and, finally, I find the words.
“They stabbed him. They stabbed Jamie. I mean, one minute I was trying to tell him that he looked like Spence and that maybe someone had confused the two of them—that maybe someone wanted him dead. And Jamie was looking at me like—he was looking at me like I was the world’s most screwed-up little sister, and then …”
I turn and stare out the glass.
“Jamie’s fine,” Alexei says when Megan, Noah, and Rosie turn to him.
“Jamie is not fine,” I say.
“Jamie is recovering. He will be fine.” Alexei sounds so certain.
“At first, I thought maybe he’d been shot. Except I didn’t hear a shot. I didn’t see anyone stab him, either, but … There was so much blood. Alexei found us then, and he helped me carry Jamie to the palace.”
“You took your bleeding brother to the palace?” Noah asks.
I nod. “Ann was our mom’s friend. I’d just been to see her, to ask her if she knew what my mom was working on when she died.”
“So you were with Ann and then a few minutes later someone tried to kill your brother?” Megan asks.
“Yes.”
“And then you took your almost-dying brother back to the palace?”
“Yes!” I say. I’m not mad at my friends. I’m mad at myself. “It was dark and the streets were so crowded. I didn’t know who’d hurt him. I didn’t know what to do, so Alexei helped me carry him to the palace.”
“How did you get out?” Rosie asks. “I mean, if the royal family wants you both dead and all.”
“Dominic,” I say. “He told the guards that he was there to arrest Alexei, and then he dragged the three of us out of the palace and back to the embassy. Grandpa called in a favor from a general he knows and he sent a helicopter to get us. They flew us to an army hospital in Germany and rushed Jamie into surgery. He lived. Barely. And as soon as he could be moved, Dominic took the three of us on the run.”
“Took you where?” Megan asks.
Alexei and I share a look, and I shrug. “Everywhere,” I say. “We kept moving. But Jamie wasn’t getting better. Jamie was never going to get better if they kept chasing us, so I …”
“So you what?” Now it’s Alexei who is making demands.