I blink, too scared to venture breathing.
She looks up at me with a grave expression. “I will advise you to be more careful with your intellectual property in the future. Academic dishonesty is something this and any institution is going to take very seriously.”
She stands abruptly. I hesitate, rising unsteadily to my feet. “I’m not sure I understand . . .”
Her mouth pulls into a tight smile, but she extends her hand. “We will be reviewing your file quarterly, at least for the short term. But you’re a very bright student, Sonia. You show potential to build excellent character and that’s something we’re interested in on this campus.”
I take her hand. “You mean I—”
“I believe you’ll thrive at the University of Pennsylvania. We look forward to seeing you this fall.”
Air floods into my lungs for what feels like the first time. “Thank you, ma’am, thank you so much.” She gives my hand a firm shake before pointing me toward the door.
“Oh, and Sonia?” she calls just as I touch the handle. “I am so very sorry, about what happened to Ms. Meyer, and for everything you’ve been through.”
The sun is just peeking out from the clouds when I exit College Hall, heading across Spruce Street toward the Quad where I told my mother I’d meet her. The temperature is mild and there’s an air of spring fever exuding from everyone I pass. Or maybe it’s radiating off me. When we arrived I was so nervous I couldn’t do much more than locate the correct building for my meeting. Now I see the open spaces covered with students lounging and studying on the lawns, and my heart fills with a new sort of resolve. I am going to graduate; I’ll be here in the fall. Not in spite of Gretchen, but maybe somehow . . . in memory of her.
A Frisbee sails toward me, tumbling in the grass and coming to rest at my feet. I pick it up, tossing it back to a couple of shirtless guys who wave at me, grinning. A group of girls pass by me discussing finals and I imagine myself joining them in the fall, walking back to my residence hall with a stack of books and assignments. I’ll chat with my roommate about what to have for dinner, maybe even venture out at night to a real college party. I stop to inhale the scents of the campus, letting the blossoming trees and flowers overpower my senses. I gaze up at the historic Tudor Gothic buildings and I feel lighter, safer here than I have at home for the past month.
I twinge with guilt when I finally spot my mother resting on a bench outside the Quad. The fall semester is only a few months away, but I wish I could start now. I’ve never felt so close to this place. I don’t want to leave it to go back home.
When she sees me, my mom sits up, looking anxious. “How did it go?”
“Good, actually. . . . I guess I’m back on track.”
Her shoulders relax. “I knew you’d get it straightened out.” She picks up her purse and phone and my daydream fades.
“I’m sorry again, Mom.”
We didn’t talk much this morning on the drive down in Noah’s car. I tried to focus on driving while she shuffled through every radio station she could find. But the worst part about the last twenty-four hours was listening to her pacing up and down the hall all night, and the effort it clearly took her to smile at customers this morning before we left.
“You know, I thought I’d hate the idea of leaving you in this place. Now I’m not sure I want to bring you home again.”
I look up, surprised. “I had the same thought.”
She gives me a strained smile. “I don’t know how you can act so calm when someone’s out there just . . .”
Her voice trails off and I curl my fingers so she won’t notice the chewed nubs of my nails. “Any news on things at home?”
“Dina only had a second to talk when I checked in, but I guess it was Shelly’s day off so she came in to give them a hand. They’re not very busy.”
I relax a little. Shelly did a stint of waitressing at the diner in high school and she was good. She and Dina always competed to see who could make more tips.
“What about Noah?”
She sighs. “Elena had him in the doctor’s office first thing this morning, but so far they’re just telling him to take it easy.”
“Well, let’s hurry up and get home.” I start in the direction of the car, but she hangs back.
When I turn, she inclines her head toward the intricate brick buildings. “We’re already here, don’t you want to look around?”
I blink, not sure I heard right. “I . . . but what about the diner?”
“We’re not going to make it back in traffic before the evening rush. And Shelly’s there. Dina and I agreed you should have a chance to get familiar. You’ll be living here before you know it.”