Marcus sits on the edge of a large wooden planter. “Why don’t we cut the bullshit, Sonia.”
The air thickens in my chest. His gaze is black.
“You know the things Gretchen was capable of, probably better than I did. Goodness wasn’t one of them.”
My face goes hot, even though I wasn’t the one to say it.
“We slept together right away, even though I barely knew her. I have to admire how tactical she was—there’s power in vulnerability.” He looks at the ground and pauses.
I shift my weight, trying not to imagine these details in my head.
“It didn’t take her long to figure out my grandmother’s situation and offer to ‘help.’ I was selling paintings here and there and working at Evil Bean, but it wasn’t enough. She had access to cash, her dad’s a philanthropist . . . at the time it seemed to make sense. Five thousand dollars was more money than I’d ever seen in my life, but she made it seem manageable, something I could pay back.” He takes off his cap, raking his hands through his hair. “Unfortunately, my grandmother deteriorated. Five thousand dollars became ten thousand, then another five . . . if she’d given me what was in her purse that night, I would’ve owed her twenty grand.”
My pulse races. Everything inside me wants to reach for him, but I clench my fists in my lap. I need to be careful about this. “Twenty thousand dollars . . . that’s a lot of reasons to want someone dead.”
“You know I didn’t kill her.”
“I didn’t say you did.”
He looks at me and frowns. “It’s funny, for a while I figured you had to be in on it—what she did to people. But once I really paid attention, I changed my mind.” His eyes soften. “It was worse for you than anyone, wasn’t it?”
My cheeks flash hot. I look away into the shadows. “I don’t know what you mean.”
He rises from the planter and steps toward me. “How long did it take her to get you right where she wanted you?”
I step back. “Look, Marcus, I’m sorry you and Gretchen had such a screwed-up relationship, but—”
“What would she have done if you said no to her? When was the last time you tried?”
I swallow, but my mouth is dry.
“Did you know Reva Stone would’ve been valedictorian before Gretchen died, but Gretchen made her fuck up her grades just enough so she could be on top?”
“Wh—why would Gretchen do that?” I ask, not even convincing myself.
“Because a long time ago, Reva made the mistake of coming on to Gretchen.”
I look at my feet. I’m not ready to talk about this. I never will be.
“Reva’s parents don’t know she’s gay—maybe they won’t even care. But Reva isn’t ready to come out and she didn’t want Gretchen to do it for her.” His face is stony. “Did you know Tyrone Wallace started using steroids at Gretchen’s suggestion? His parents put all that pressure on him, but he couldn’t quite find his edge—so Gretchen ‘helped’ him kinda like she helped me.”
A gust of wind sweeps across the yard, making the trees dance in the shadows. My hair blows across my face, forcing me to blink. I was cold a second ago, but now I’m burning up. “How do you know all this?”
His lip curls. “That’s just the kind of Girl Scout she was. She got me so far under her thumb, she just had to gloat about what she’d done to everyone else.” He steps closer to me, his scent like paint and cedar. “You already knew, didn’t you?”
I look away, at a crack in the siding on my uncle’s house, unsure if I’m more relieved or afraid. Marcus shouldn’t know any of this. The whole reason Gretchen had so much power was because she could keep secrets and not tell anyone. But maybe it was different between her and Marcus. It was certainly different between Gretchen and me.
My voice comes out shaky. “What did she say about me?”
He pauses a long time. Long enough that I wonder if he heard me, but when I look at him, his gaze is steady.
“Not a single thing.”
I shut my eyes. I want to keep them closed forever. I open my mouth instead.
“She made a video of you saying you wanted her dead.”
“I know.” He exhales. “If I knew where that was right now . . .”
My cheek twitches, but the SD card is safe where it is. He doesn’t need to know I have it. Yet.
“Look, Sonia, she thought she had me with the money. She almost did. But she was patient and she knew my weakness was in who I cared about.” His eyes are gentle, focused. “Maybe she knew my feelings better than I did. I hardly saw it coming.” He brushes my hair away from my cheek and my skin comes alive. He’s looking at me the way he did before, almost like he’s painting a mental picture. You could declare your love for Sonia and live happily ever after.
My eyes widen. I pull away. This can’t be real.
He wipes his hand over his face. “Sonia . . .”
I stare at him, forcing my feet to stay put. “Y—you’re not serious.”