Kirsten’s mouth presses into a quivering line as I get to my feet, and I instantly feel guilty. She seems so lost. For as long as I can remember, Gretchen had rejected her, treating me more like a sister despite Kirsten’s attempts to win her affection. She never seemed discouraged—if anything, she just tried harder. But it makes my heart sick wondering what she’s left with now.
Kirsten had begged to go with us to the party Friday night, like she always did, and it was one of the rare times Gretchen actually gave in. But of course they ended up fighting. I try not to think of that as the event that set the rest of the night in motion, but I wonder if she’s considered it too—what might’ve happened if she just hadn’t come along.
There’s so much I wish I’d done differently that night. I should’ve at least said something to her. I have no idea what to say now.
“Kirsten, I’m sorry.” I move toward her, intending to offer a hug, but when she folds her arms in front of her and scowls, I draw back.
“We came to collect her things.” She stares across the street into the park. The rush of the waterfall is just audible from where we stand.
“Oh.” My mouth goes dry. “What did they—”
“One black ballet flat, two five-dollar bills, a hair clip, some earrings, one bracelet, and one very water-logged smartphone—if you have to know. Thought I’d get some fresh air while my mom finishes crying.”
I manage to swallow the lump in my throat. “I . . . I can’t believe she’s gone.”
She turns to me, her teeth bared like a wild animal. “Save it, Sonia. You don’t know what it’s like to have a sister and you’ll never understand what it’s like to lose one.”
My hand goes to my face like I’ve been slapped. Kirsten is usually so quiet and awkward. She’s clearly hurting, but I don’t know what to do. Before I can find any words, Gretchen’s parents come out the door; him, slightly balding in a three-piece suit, and her, trailing behind, balanced on stilettos, her normally perfect blond hair coming out of its restrictive bun. Mr. Meyer turns and barks over his shoulder.
“Tell the sheriff I want an update immediately.”
He continues down the steps, practically carrying his wife to the car. Kirsten walks around to the back of the Range Rover and climbs in. I lower my head and start to walk away, but Gretchen’s mom sees me and calls my name.
I approach the SUV, unable to look directly into her red-rimmed eyes. “Mrs. Meyer, I . . .”
She gestures me closer, taking a long, deep breath. I don’t think she can bear to look at me either. “Sonia, I’m so relieved you’re all right.”
It’s all I can do to stand here, wishing I didn’t exist. If I could make it me instead of Gretchen, in this moment, I would. But then Mrs. Meyer surprises me. I’ve never known her to be particularly affectionate, but she rises from her seat and wraps me in her arms until I’m enveloped in the scents of cashmere and perfume.
“You meant so much to her,” she whispers.
I gasp as she squeezes my aching ribs. Kirsten glares at me from the back of the car.
Mrs. Meyer sinks down into her seat. Gretchen’s dad turns and looks at me like he’s surprised to find me standing here. “Sonia, you should get inside.” His face is so stricken. I just nod, stepping back toward the sheriff’s office. “We’ll see you at the service Friday.”
“Of course,” I whisper. And then they’re gone.
I turn back to the old stone building, unsure what I’m doing there anymore. Before I can move I’m stopped by a flash of red light and the blip of a siren. An unmarked Explorer pulls up to the curb and Sheriff Wood climbs out with a strict law-enforcement expression. All I want to do is bolt, but I force myself to stay put. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials, but doesn’t take his eyes off me as he approaches.
“I found her. We’ll be there shortly.”
“Who was that?” I ask, trying to maintain my cool.
“Your mother. Sonia, do you have any idea—” He stops himself, looks me over, and rubs his hand across his face. “God, I’m glad you’re okay.”
“I don’t underst—”
“Your uncle went by the school to pick you up since you weren’t answering your phone. When he realized you’d already left, he called the diner and your mom panicked.” He stares at me, frowning.
I lower my head and look at my feet.
He exhales, his voice softening. “Just don’t disappear like that again. I barely managed to convince her you’d be safe when you ran off to school this morning. When you didn’t come straight home . . .”
I avoid his eyes, focusing instead on the six gold points of his badge. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey. She’s just worried about you.” His tone is gentle and when I’m brave enough to steal another glance at his face, his eyes are warm again. “Come on, let me walk you home.”
I look back at the sheriff’s office once and fall into step beside him, trying to figure out how to ask about the intruder without him shutting me out. “Has anything new happened? Anything you want to tell me about the leads you’re following?”