“Tell me,” I say, voice hoarse. “Tell me to fucking destroy him for what he did to you, and I’ll go back and do so right now.” It’s not the first time I’ve begged her for this. Probably won’t be the last.
Expression calm once more, she leans back on the wall, eyes focused ahead. “You really do care that he hurt me.” She sounds surprised.
“Of course I fucking do.”
She laughs under her breath. “It’s not like he and I were together, so I have no real reason to be upset, right?”
I wish that was true. So damn bad. “You might have not been together, but there was something between you guys. He had no right to do that to you.”
“Was there something going on between me and Austin?”
“You were sleeping together.” I can’t keep the bitterness out of my tone; don’t even bother to try.
“I only slept with Austin that one time.”
What . . . my mouth falls open, and I can’t formulate a response. I can barely formulate thoughts.
Once? He only had her once?
Once is more than enough, but hearing that he hasn’t slept with Kira since that one time . . . fuck. I feel like I’ve been hit. Elation bubbles up in me, until I see the look on her face.
It doesn’t matter how many times they were together, if she keeps insisting she isn’t hurt. Obviously she is, and even though I don’t know why, the desire to hurt him in return won’t leave me alone. “It’s fucked up what he did to you, Kira. Let me make him pay.”
“Why is it okay for you to hurt me, but it’s wrong that he did so?”
God damn, this girl has a way of cutting me to the quick with her words. “None of the things I did to you were okay. I’ve told you hundreds of times. I fucked up. I fucked up so bad, Kira.”
“So you want me to forgive you, but not him?”
I get why she’s asking me these things. I even appreciate the fact that, instead of pushing me away completely, she’s actually trying to understand me.
Still, opening up isn’t my strong suit. Not even with her. Being put on the spot so suddenly makes me want to shut down, avoid further discussion.
But I know I won’t. When it comes to what I want with Kira, I finally have my shit straight. I’m going to do what’s right. “You can forgive him if you want. Yet we both know that the one thing I don’t want is for you to be with him.”
She tilts her head, hair sliding over her shoulder. My phone goes dark. I hurry to turn it back on, needing to see more of her.
Just looking at her is better than any sex I’ve ever had with anyone else.
“It has to be your pride,” Kira says thoughtfully. “That’s why you don’t want me with him.”
Fuck, yeah. My pride is involved. I won’t deny it. I’m a guy, and some other fucker is actively trying to take what’s mine. “It’s not just that. I love you.”
“You say that so easily now. But you never stopped to think how much you were hurting me all those years. I’m supposed to forgive you for that? What if his reasons are similar to yours?”
The comparisons to Austin are fucking killing me. No matter how deserved they are, she has to stop that shit before I lose my mind. “You’re right, baby. I didn’t stop to think about anything.”
Kira tenses up at my admission, and I see the anger rise in her. The resentment.
I hurry to add, “I was too caught up in my own pain, and I had to escape. That’s what losing you did to me. It fucked me up so bad, and I was already fucked up to begin with.” Admitting I’d been a * back then isn’t easy, but it’s true. “I was frantic to numb myself, and I couldn’t. In the end, that was the hardest lesson.”
“What was?”
“That no one on this planet is you, and you’re all I fucking want. I don’t care how, what I have to do to earn you.” Leaning toward her, I lock eyes with her. “And trust me, Kitty. I’ve learned my lesson well.”
Even in the dim light of my phone, I see her cheeks pinken. Her expression is lucid, focused intensely on me, trying to gauge my honesty, and I start to wonder if she’s even drunk anymore.
Kira gets on all fours and starts crawling toward me.
I tense.
Breath leaves me.
Desire collides with that ever-present, insatiable hunger. The force of it burns through my veins and slams into my cock.
My mouth fucking waters with every centimeter that she gets closer.
She’s drunk. Definitely still tipsy at the least. There’s no way one of my most violent fantasies is coming true this easily.
I slam my head back against the wall. “Kira, why—don’t.”
Her hand lands on the floor next to my hip. Her other hand lands on the other side.
My hips jerk up toward her, seeking. “Kitty.” Don’t do this to me. Not right now. I can’t fucking fight it . . .
“You’re only saying all these things because you want to fuck me.”
I groan at the tone of her voice—husky, low, hungry for me.
“And for some reason, Brayden—” She presses her lips to my ear. “—Right now, I really want to let you fuck me.”
Oh God. “No, baby. Please.”
She drags her lips along my jaw, down to my chin.