The wood creaks with each of his steps. Slow. Confident. He's come down here silently before, so the cadence of his steps is intentional. It's like, even with his descent into my prison, he's trying to play with my mind. Today, he isn't shirtless, but his t-shirt and jeans are weathered. He must work in construction or utilities. This is the only thing I have been able to gather about his identity thus far.
I use the blanket to shroud myself. Before I was exposed. Perpetually open to him. Nothing has changed, but the blanket gives me the illusion of autonomy.
He walks past me, takes my waste bucket out of the basement and returns.
Then he approaches me and pulls the blanket off of me. I fight, tugging one end of it.
“You said it was mine!” I shout.
He gives it another good yank and throws it to the floor behind me, signaling that this blanket has one purpose, and it is not to shield myself from his gaze.
The sea-hued eyes glare back at me. I try to study them, try to imagine what's under there, but so much of his face is shrouded in black. This man has taken everything from me and I don't even know what he looks like. I wonder if that's a good thing. That maybe there's a chance he'll let me go if I can't ID him.
He walks up to me, slips his hand around the small of my back and pulls me close. He hasn't presented me with anything. Maybe he's just here to take.
He runs his hand up my back and yanks my hair, exposing my neck. He dips his nose to my collarbone and inhales deeply. He's already aroused, pressing his hips against me so I feel what's to come.
“I watched you play with your cunt yesterday, Vesp,” he says menacingly. He swallows and takes a deep breath as he lightly presses his lips against shell of my ear. “I know your secret now. You're a pretty little angel on the outside. But inside…” He shudders. “Inside you're a whore who likes it when I spray my cum all over your tits.”
Those words hurt worse than the things he did to me physically. In that moment, when I did that shameful act, I thought I was alone. Even then I felt dirty. But I thought I at least had that sliver of dignity left.
He has stripped me of everything. Not just the life I had, but the basic right of privacy. With the things he says, sometimes I wonder if he can read my mind. Maybe there is nothing left of me that is my own.
It enrages me. More so than I have felt since I arrived here. I have been starved and isolated into compliance. Tuned into a pet. But the very human feeling of embarrassment is enough to spark a fire and bring back Vesper Rivers.
Although I’m quivering inside, I put on a brave face hoping to regain at least a smidgen of that dignity he stole. “What did you bring me today?” I ask smugly. He yanks my hair a little harder to get a better look at my face. His eyes wander along my features, revealing his confusion to my response. “Let me be clear: anything you think you see is just me trying to get things from you. You don't even have the balls to show your face or speak to me. You're just the boogeyman. You're not even a person. None of this is real,” I snarl. “The only way you can get a girl to suck you off is to steal her and bribe her. You're a pathetic little peeping tom.” As those last words escape, I gasp in fear. When the dark pupils overtake the clarity of his eyes, I know I have poked a beast.
He takes one jagged breath before I find myself breathless, being driven against a cold, hard wall behind me. I gasp for the air that was purged from my lungs while I jerk away from his grip. I recoil and writhe, trying to escape, but he grips my hair tighter. A cold blade is pressing against my neck. It hurts, and for the first time in a while, I am genuinely terrified. Not just the constant uncertainty and fear that simmers in the background, but a heart-pounding, breathless fear.
“You want to play this fucking game, Vesp? You want to lie to my fucking face? I've given you choices. I've been easy on you, but now let me be clear: I am going to use your body in every fucking way I can imagine. You're gonna scream for me. You're gonna beg me to fuck you in every hole. Because that's who you are, Vesp. The gifts are there to make it easier for you to come to terms with it. But it's inevitable. You have no control over it, just like you have no control over the fact that you need air or water. I broke into your house and fucked you while your boyfriend was tied up like a little bitch and you were in your own little fucked up slice of heaven. I have news for you, Vesp. When you're fucked up like me—like that—heaven and hell aren't very different.”