It feels like I’m torn in half, part of me living the life I know and the other being pulled away by some crazy need. Need for what, I don’t know. I’ve never had this problem before. I’m great at tuning out the noise and focusing. It’s my forte. If only I could focus right now on what I should. Namely, not her.
There’s nothing clean about this. As a matter of fact, it’s so fucking tangled that I can’t manage to straighten it out no matter how much I try.
“Hello?” I say, answering my phone after the second ring.
“Hey, Graham. It’s Camilla.”
“You avoid my calls left and right and then call me randomly on a Friday night. If you called to tell me you’ve gotten yourself in trouble, I really don’t want to hear it tonight, Camilla.”
She laughs through the phone. “I’m not in trouble. I was just seeing how your week went.”
Spinning around, I let my back rest against the marble counter. It feels good against the scratches in my skin from Mallory’s heels.
Just like that, I’m fighting a hard-on.
“Graham?”
“I’m here. Just getting a drink,” I lie. “This week went well. Should it have?” I give her a second to consider where I’m going with this.
“Mallory said she offered to quit today.”
“I didn’t accept it.”
“She said that too,” she laughs. Her words calm the acid in my stomach just a bit. “I don’t think she meant it. What do you think of her?”
“I’m not discussing this with you, Swink,” I say, using the nickname our grandfather gave her years ago because she’s so nosey.
Camilla sighs. “You want to know what I think?”
“Not really.”
“Graham! Stop it and listen to me.”
Rolling my eyes, I switch hands. “I am. I’m listening to you meddle.” My jaw clenches. “Want to hear what I have to say about you setting her up on a date tonight?”
“Oh, did that bother you?” she asks sweetly.
“Why do I suspect that’s why you did it?”
“Because you’re not stupid,” she laughs. “Look, Ford and Lincoln have both said you like her. And,” she says loudly over my objection, “I’m friends with her, G. I know . . . things.”
“I know if you pull that again, your check from Landry Holdings next month will be late.”
“You wouldn’t dare!” she giggles.
“Try me. Now I have to get back to work since I’ve gotten nothing done this week.”
“That’s telling,” she mutters.
“That’s telling that something needs to change. I have Lincoln’s wedding to monitor before he fucks up his life. I have Ford’s security business to take care of, Barrett’s odds and ends he left behind here to deal with,” I sigh. “I have investment meetings all week for our portfolio and a land deal Dad wants to look at early next month that I have a lot of prep work to put in. Sienna is wanting to pull a part of her money out and invest in some fucking hat line that will be a total fucking loss, and I have to deal with Mom trying to convince me to let Sienna spread her wings. Then I have your bullshit, creeping around God knows where—”
“Stop it.”
“I could if you’d just be open with me about who you are seeing.”
“Who says I’m seeing anyone?”
I look at the ceiling in exasperation. “You said yourself I’m not stupid. Dad wants me to hire Parker to follow you around and—”
“You wouldn’t!”
“I haven’t,” I warn, “but I will if you don’t ‘fess up soon.”
She gruffs through the line, mumbling about me being overprotective, but it’s nothing I haven’t heard before. Finally, she sighs. “Why don’t you go take a bubble bath or something? Take the night off.”
“I don’t have the luxury to be unproductive, Camilla.”
“Easy there, big guy,” she says softly. “I didn’t say you did. I’m just saying . . .”
“Saying what?” I bark at my sister, then immediately feel guilty. “I’m sorry. I’m just stressed out.”
“I can tell.”
Silence stretches between us and I kick myself for letting things get like this. This isn’t me. I manage shit. Shit doesn’t manage me.
If I break, it all falls apart. If I fail, we all go down.
“When is the last time you did something you wanted to do?” she asks. “Not for work or for any of us, but for you?”
Pulling the phone away from my ear, I see an incoming text from a number I don’t know. “I don’t know, Cam. What’s it matter?”
“You need to take care of yourself,” she insists. “You act like you’re this . . . stoic guy that doesn’t need anyone. And maybe you don’t, I don’t know. But you need to enjoy your life. Find some balance.”
“I’m balanced. My scale just looks different than yours.”
“Balance is balance, Graham. It means what it means.”
This is brewing into a fight, one I don’t want to have. Not just because it’s Camilla, but because I just don’t have the energy. Or the temperament. “I’m not in the mood to have this conversation,” I tell her.
“Can I offer you a suggestion?”
“Sure,” I sigh. “Then I need to go.” I pull my phone away from my face again as an alert beeps through.
“Give Mallory a chance. She really needs this job, Graham, and I know she’s smart and—”
“It was her that tried to quit,” I remind her, my frustration going up a few notches. “I didn’t try to fire her. But, come to think of it, maybe I should’ve let her. It would resolve a few things.”
I’m right. I should’ve. But the thought of not seeing her on Monday morning gives me a feeling I’m not willing to deal with yet. I need to wrap my head around this before I go making huge moves. Well, bigger moves than I did today. Or sinking inside her again . . .
“Maybe you should consider why you didn’t,” she says gently.
“I need to go, Cam.”
“Come have lunch with Mom and I tomorrow.”
“I’ll try,” I say. “I’ll talk to you soon.”
Before she can pull me in a different direction, I end the call. Flipping to texts, I see the same number has hit me up a few times. I click on line.
There are four messages in green.
I got your email. You can’t just “decline my request” without talking to me about it.
Although, I find it telling that you want to keep me around. I’m good, huh? ;)
Just in case you were curious, we used forks. Real metal ones.
We had a meal and went our (separate) ways. My thighs are still kind of stuck together. Guess I’ll grab a bath and consider your REQUEST that I stay with your company.
My fingers are striking the keys on my phone before I can consider it.
It wasn’t a request. Don’t be late.
Her responds pings immediately.
Her: What if I am?
Me: I’ll make you work over.
Her: Does any of that include desk work in your office? If so, I’ll see you at ten after eight.
My hand goes to my cock as I imagine her on my desk, splayed out just for me.
Me: I’ll say you performed well for your first week.
Her: I’d say it wasn’t terrible working for you.
Me: Wow. Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Her: Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been better.
Me: Any tips going forward?
Her: Use your mouth more, Mr. Landry. It’s how deals are made.
Mallory