“Ronan …”
“No, hear me out. I know how this sounds, and maybe it is crazy, but for the first time in a very long time, I feel like I’m awake. My life isn’t a blur anymore. No more going through the motions for me, and it’s all because of you.” I paused and stole another kiss. “Fuck it. Run away with me. Let’s get married, for real. Today. Be mine and only mine.”
Blaire giggled. “You’re insane! We can’t do that. Besides, you know that I’m yours.”
“But are you really?”
She was silent for a moment. “What do you want, Ronan?”
To be your oxygen, Blaire, as you’ve become mine. Like you said—forever. And one day I’m going to get you to say yes.”
There were tears in her eyes as she stared at me. “Oh, really?” she asked, her voice trembling.
“Yep.” I cupped her face once more and felt a runaway tear land on my thumb. “I will never give you up, you know?”
She remained silent then because she knew it was all a lie, every word, every look, and every touch. All fucking lies. And the biggest joke was that I fell in love with her—the most beautiful lie of all. Her kisses were deceit that tasted like the sweetest venom, her laugh a lure to my demise, and her body the damn devil’s playground.
But then again love is a dirty, bloody, messy game. Love doesn’t give a fuck about rules or honesty. And as much as love can make one feel alive and want to change for the better, it can also kill you and, with it, your dreams. All in the blink of an eye.
“And what happened?” I hear the woman ask, bringing me back to reality, her face and blonde hair replacing that of Blaire’s.
What usually happens when you forget your place in the world and dare to dream. “She broke my heart.”
I take the few steps separating us until I’m standing not even a foot away from her. I raise my hand and caress the side of her face with the back of my fingers. She closes her eyes and leans in toward my touch. Then I grip her chin, tilting it up as I lower my mouth. When my lips touch hers, she closes her eyes and gives in to the kiss. I don’t. I can’t. And I fucking hate myself for it because even though I’m kissing this woman, it’s Blaire who I taste.
With the kiss coming to an end, I say, “Undress now.”
She seems unsure for the first time since we met. “I’m not young and beautiful like her.”
Her words do something to me. They don’t touch a chord inside me, or move me—that’s impossible. Maybe if I had met her in another life, one where I was whole again. But they make me want to show her what I see. Her beauty. A beauty that becomes increasingly more obvious with every second that passes by.
I let go of her and move to stand behind her. Without touching her, I lean into her, and say, “You are beautiful. Let me see you. All of you.”
She takes a shuddering breath and steps away. Turning to face me, I watch her slowly reach for the spaghetti straps resting on her skin, pushing them off her shoulders one by one. The sight of her undressing for me is more than erotic. It’s downright intoxicating. The silk slides down her toned body as softly as running water, revealing gentle curves, small but perfect tits, and a smooth, sweet cunt. My hands itch to explore it all. I want the warmth of her skin to seep into mine, warming me even if it’s only for a brief moment in time.
Nervous and hesitant, she covers herself with her arms.
“No, don’t hide from me.” I peel her hands away from her body. “You’re magnificent.”
“You’re being polite. I saw her picture. I know what you’re used to. And I can tell you right now that I look nothing like her.”
“Yes, you’re right. You look nothing like her, but I still want you.”
I watch her blush, and the color is so lovely on her skin, it makes me want to put it there again. My cock hardens, agreeing with me. I bridge the space between us until my chest is touching the tip of her tits. Her nipples harden, her breathing short and fast.
“And why shouldn’t I? You’re beautiful, desirable, and so fucking sexy.” My hand caresses her skin, starting from the curve of her shoulder to the gentle curve of her tit down to her stomach. “I want to trace my tongue along each curve and orifice of you.” I grab her hair, pull it to the side, exposing her neck, and lean down to kiss it, feeling her pulse under my mouth.
“Savoring the taste of your sweat, of your desire, of the secrets your body has to offer.” I straighten and place my hands on her hips, curling my fingers in her flesh, as I pull her flush against me.
Her eyes widen, showing me how dilated her pupils are. She licks her lips. “I want you, too.”
I cradle the back of her neck as we begin to kiss desperately. There’s no room for air. No room for thoughts. There’s no room for anything other than my lips on her, my hands on her skin. I breathe her in, letting her fill my lungs with her scent, drugging me with the smell of lust and want. I seek oblivion in her warm, inviting body.
My need isn’t for her.