I kept on running. I hadn’t dared stop. That boy had seen me.
He’d seen me stealing from his bag. Daggers stabbed at my conscience as I remembered his face at the moment he realized I was taking his things. But then I had swayed on my feet; the hunger and weakness in my body chasing away my guilt. And he’d been shouting at me. He’d shouted at me and I didn’t hear him. Didn’t hear him standing behind me—and I had almost been caught; caught red handed committing a felony offense.
My stomach growled at me, screaming that it was desperate for food. My legs shook as I forced them to work even though I had little energy left to help them move. My skin flushed with an almost unbearable heat, my head feeling light again. I knew it would pass. The too-hot sensation would pass, only to be replaced by too-freezing cold. I had been this way for weeks; every day I grew weaker and weaker.
The world growing darker and darker.
I pushed my legs to run through packs of students milling around campus. I kept my head down and the wallet clutched close to my chest. I hated crowds. I didn’t do well with people. I couldn’t take their assessing eyes, their judgment as they watched me. But then to these people I was nothing. When you had no home and lived rough on the streets, they forgot that you were also human.
Human, and utterly lost.
Breaking free from the overwhelming campus, I ran over a busy road, the heavy rain beginning to seep into my bones, the coldness from the chilly wind slapping at my boiling cheeks. The chill brought a momentary reprieve from the fever burning in my blood. I prayed that I had a warmer coat than an old leather jacket to keep me warm, but then it was quickly forgotten. I learned a long time ago that prayers were never answered. I was convinced they were never even heard. A fact I found ironic, considering I never opened my mouth to voice my thoughts aloud.
Lifting my eyes to peer out under the protection of my hood, I noted that I was only a few hundred yards from the alley in which I stayed. Slowing to a fast walk, I flinched as I coughed, my chest burning; my lungs felt on fire at the simple reflex action. I was sick again, but this time I knew it was worse. I couldn’t shake off this flu; this flu that wouldn’t go away.
Beginning to feel the early signs of the fever at the back of my neck, I wrapped my arms around my chest. I quickly turned left and entered the narrow alley. I walked past the dumpsters from the deli beside me and stopped at the back right corner. I stared at the old wet blankets and, feeling overwhelmingly weak, sat down and pulled the itchy damp wool over my body.
I huddled against the wall, attempting to get warm. The rain poured heavier and heavier with every passing minute. At least the slight sloped roof from the deli shielded the majority of the rain. But no matter how small I made myself, I felt no warmth. The icy cold constantly lapped over my skin.
It was funny, but with this amount of time spent back on the streets, it was easy to forget what warmth felt like at all. Good warmth, that is. Cozy, safe warmth. Not the searing consuming heat that came with fever.
Taking my hand out from beneath the blankets, the one still clutching the leather wallet, I snapped open the clasp and looked inside. I prayed and prayed that I would find money. The last few wallets I’d taken had held nothing of value. But I’d watched the boy this wallet belonged to today. I’d watched as he drove to the campus in a brand new fancy Jeep. Watched as the handsome boy with fair hair, olive skin and big gray eyes walked into the Husky stadium’s huge locker room, wearing only the best clothes. He was wealthy. Wealth normally equaled cash.
My trembling hands parted the leather of the wallet, and my heart immediately fell. There was no cash inside. There were cards, but nothing I could use to buy food, to eat, nothing to use to win back some strength.
Desperate scalding tears filled my eyes and fell to join the raindrops on my thinning blankets. Realization hit that I’d be going without food, again.
I moved to throw the useless wallet away when, just as it tipped upside down, something fell to the ground, obviously from a hidden compartment. Looking down, my eyes focused on what looked like a necklace lying on the wet ground at my side.
Reaching down, I picked up the necklace, noticing an old tarnished cross dangling from old scratched wooden brown beads. It wasn’t a necklace; it was an old set of rosary beads.
I held it up to the light, turning it in my hand. A small smile etched on my lips. Although old, they were beautiful.