“You sore?” I asked.
“A little.”
It made me damn proud that she was feeling where I’d just been, what we’d just done, and I told her so.
To that she simply replied, “I’m glad you’re pleased with yourself.”
After cleaning up, I returned to bed, smiling at Mol as she laid waiting for me back in bed. Sliding in beside her, I tucked her into my chest, combing out the knots in her hair with my fingers, her humming in response. I’d never had this, this happy after state of making love. It’d always been quick, rough and I’d roll over, ignoring whoever I’d just fucked, or even better, send them on home. But lying here, happily spent, with my girl beside me… Shit, it was incredible.
“Tell me something you’ve never told anyone,” I said quietly, becoming addicted to our new closeness and wanting to explore it more.
I felt the instant panic seize her breath so I quickly took a hand, feeling her relax.
“Like what?” she asked nervously.
“Anything. Just something no one else knows. Some deep secret or fear that you have.”
Lifting her head, she met my eyes and hers filled with water. I squeezed her hand in support as she whispered, “I get so lonely that at times I literally think it might kill me.”
I was sure my heart stopped beating. I could handle my own shit, but hearing her sound so broken, so down, almost killed me.
She never took her eyes from mine, smiling a watery smile. In an instant, I had her in my arms, kissing everywhere possible, every inch of skin. She was lonely. All the studying, the solitude, was a defense… just like me with my football.
“Molly, baby, you’re breaking my fucking heart,” I said tightly, wondering how the hell an insensitive guy like me could take away her pain.
“It’s true and I’ve never told anyone that until just now… until you. For me, it’s been the hardest thing. It’s amazing how loud the sound of silence can be screaming at you relentlessly, reminding you that you’re completely on your own in the world.”
“Can I tell you something?” I said almost inaudibly, as if my mouth opened of its own accord and a part of my soul fought to get free.
Bracing in anticipation, her breath held as I confessed, “I’m desperately lonely, too.”
Relief and understanding flashed across her face and my girl crumpled in my arms, the floodgates bursting free and years of pent-up heartache making her almost inconsolable. I didn’t know if it was the sound of her breaking or seeing her so raw, but she forced me to face my own demons, and I let my own sadness leak through for the first time in years.
Holding Molly tight, I said, “We don’t have to feel lonely anymore, baby. I have you and you me.”
Shifting back, she wiped at her eyes, laughing, “This is crazy, Romeo. We’ve known each other for such a short space of time, yet I feel as if I’ve known you my whole life.”
It may have been the wrong time to joke, but smirking, I said, “We’re star-crossed, Shakespeare. Fateful, star-crossed lovers. We have a lifetime to get to know each other, unlike our namesakes.” Dropping the humor, driven intention taking its place, I assured, “I’ll make sure we get our happily ever after…”
She settled on my chest, her breathing evening out, when I asked, “That quote on your hip, tell me about it.”
My request caused her pain—that much was clear—so holding her hand, I said, “I’ve got you, baby.”
Taking a breath, she said, “My… my father quoted it in his suicide note. He used to say it to me at bedtime every night and I wanted something to remember him by, just so I can never forget him.”
God. The hurt, the confusion was still thick in her voice. She wasn’t over it. Not at all, not even a little bit.
“Is it from memory?”
And then she explained the note, her father’s suicide note, his last words to his only daughter, and that he used to quote that sonnet to her every night. I was so out of my depth. I was a jock with anger issues—I had no idea how to handle the topic of suicide.
“Would you like to read it?” she offered hopefully.
“Why?” Shock and nerves stilled me.
“Because no one but me and my grandma ever has. I’d like to share it with you. I find myself wanting to let you in more and more every day. It may help you understand some things… about me.”
I reluctantly agreed. If it meant knowing more about my girl, I would be crazy not to do so.
She got up from the bed, completely naked, and I watched as her round ass swayed to the closet, her reaching up to grab a box, and I almost groaned in pain.
Christ, my woman was hot.
Peeking over her shoulder, she laughed, “You’re incorrigible.”