Austin leaned down and brushed a kiss to my lips, and I pulled back to ask, “Why all the tattoos?”
Austin’s jaw clenched and he cleared his throat, glancing away at the fire for what seemed like a lifetime. On a sigh, he eventually said, “People only ever thought I was Italian trailer trash. After trying so hard for so long to make them think different, I figured I may as well just live up to their expectations and look like Italian trash too.”
I narrowed my eyes as my stomach fell, and I whispered back, “That’s not the full reason either. You’re still hiding from me too.”
Austin sighed and nuzzled his cheek against mine. “But it’s the only one I can give you right now.”
I huffed a small laugh at our purposely evasive answers and wondered if we’d ever get to a place where all our secrets would be laid on the table. But I quickly chased them away, trying to embrace the gravity of the moment right here, right now.
Wrapping my arms around Austin’s head, I laid a kiss to his hair and said, “Thank you, Austin. Thank you for making me feel so special.”
Tears this time freely ran down my cheeks, and Austin lifted his head, his face full with awe. “No, thank you, Pix. Thank you for being so special to want to be with a goddamn fuck-up like me. I have no idea why you were brought into my life, but I thank God every day.”
Twenty minutes later, wrapped in a thin blanket and in front of an open fire, a messed-up boy and a messed-up girl fell asleep under the stars, holding each other in their arms… and for the first time in their turbulent lives, they felt fully exposed and completely understood.
Chapter Nineteen
Austin
The hypnotizing motion of Lexi’s warm breath against my neck almost had me falling back to sleep when I woke in the dawn, birds chirping outside the summerhouse walls, indicating morning had broken.
Squeezing my eyes shut to rid them of sleep, I instinctively rolled closer to Pix, and a chilly breeze cut under a gap in the thin blanket.
Turning my head behind me, I noticed the fire that had been roaring the night before had dwindled down to ash, and a light frost was creeping up the skylight’s glass, its heavy pattern almost like a kaleidoscope when the strong rays of the sun reflected off the pane.
As I followed the hazy pattern of a sunbeam, it led me straight to the contented face of Pix tucked into my side, and all I could do was stare.
She was fuckin’ gorgeous.
Her fresh face was free of makeup and her tiny arms were wrapped around my stomach, her pale skin stark against the dark tone of my tattooed abs. My arms weren’t wrapped around her in return, though. It was like even in sleep, my mind knew to respect her boundaries. Pix’s dress straps were firmly back in place, her chest no longer exposed, and my heart kind of sank when I realized she must have covered herself during the night. I hated that she thought so little of herself. That she had to be plagued with insecurities the first time we made love, the first time she ever made love. That she didn’t feel comfortable enough with me to bare her body completely.
A sudden sigh slipped from Pix’s lips, and I gripped her arms tighter with my hands, pulling her farther into my chest, just inhaling her sweet scent. I knew we couldn’t stay here all day. I had practice. Hell, so did she. The SEC Championship against the Florida Gators in Georgia was coming up soon, but I just wanted to hold her like this for a time longer, before we had to deal with the shit waiting outside that door.
But one thing was for sure: I felt changed. Different somehow… Worthy even.
“Austin?”
Lexi’s quiet voice made me glance down, and her sleepy eyes were fixed on mine. It didn’t take a damn detective to see the fear of rejection shining thorough them.
“Mornin’, Pix,” I said, smiling, and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“Morning,” she replied and ran her cheek across my bare chest.
Casually running my finger down her arm, I asked, “How are you feeling?”
Lifting her head, a pink, shy blush had spread across her face. “I feel… so many things—happy, blessed, brave… even adored…”
Smiling wide, I caught her quick inhale of breath and, cupping her face, brought her lips to meet mine. When I had fully taken her mouth—possessively, obsessively—I murmured, “Good, Pix. That’s real fuckin’ good.”
Laying her head to my shoulder, she sighed. I knew it was because it was time for us to go. To leave this little stress-free void.
“You ready to get going?”
Lexi nodded and gradually sat up, stretching out her arms, her back facing me. Beneath the thin fabric of her dress, I could see her tiny silhouette, and my breathing immediately stopped, a huge rush of fear seizing the function of my muscles.