Cass rolled me in, and I immediately saw Levi and Austin on either side of the bed, both distraught and each clutching their mamma’s limp hands as the doctor stood at the head of the bed.
Austin’s eyes shot to mine and his face contorted in pain. He slid off the bed and raced to me, kneeling on the floor, placing his head in my lap. Tiredly lifting my hand, I ran my fingers through his dark, messy hair.
“I don’t think I can do this, Pix,” he said through a thick throat.
Fighting back my own tears, I said, “Yes, you can, baby. You need to be strong.” As I looked up, I saw Levi at the side of his mamma’s narrow bed, looking completely lost as he sat there alone.
Holding out my hand, I smiled at Levi, who swallowed in response. “Come here, sweetie,” I said.
Levi took a hesitant step before stopping and asking, “Are… are you okay now, Lex? Are you still starving yourself? You look so thin…”
Resisting a laugh at his blunt words, I whispered, “I will be, sweetie. I will be…”
Levi then gripped onto my hand as though I were his source of strength, his fingers shaking against mine.
Austin lifted his head when the doctor cleared his throat. “Austin, Levi, your mamma’s heart rate is slowing now. It’s time to say good-bye.”
Austin looked up at me, and I let go of Levi’s hand. Austin stood and, taking Levi by the hand, led him to the bed.
Austin’s free hand jutted out beside him, reaching for me, and Rome rolled me to him as the rest of our friends stood along the back wall, silent and respectful.
“Wait!” Austin said brokenly and fished into his pocket for his iPhone. Confused, I watched what he was doing. Pressing play on a song from his playlist, he placed the phone beside his mamma’s head.
“Ave Maria” began playing softly through the phone, and Austin looked sadly at his mamma’s serene face. “She never sleeps right without it playing. It always makes her smile… and you should always meet the sandman smiling.”
I fought hard to not break down at that gut-wrenching act.
“Lev, say good-bye to Mamma, kid,” Austin said gruffly, trying to be strong, and Levi inched closer to his mamma and laid a soft kiss on her cheek.
“Dio ti benedica, Mamma. Ti voglio bene.”
Levi moved back and Austin went next. Levi was crying now, and I pushed out my hand and took his, bringing him back to stand beside me.
“Mamma…” Austin cried, and the doctor stepped forward, pressing a hand on his back.
“You have about a minute, son.”
Austin nodded and, moving his iPhone closer, said, “Axe ain’t here right now, Mamma. But he would want me to tell you he loved you. Everything he ever did was for us. I get that now, even if he did have a damn funny way of showing it. I hope one day you’ll be proud of him.” He took a shuddering breath as the heart monitor began to slow to a frightening speed, a harrowing countdown to the end of Chiara Carillo’s life.
“You were too good for this life, Mamma. You’ve always belonged in heaven. You belong up there with the angels and away from this shit life.” Austin broke on a pained cry, and I squeezed his hand in mine and couldn’t help but sob along with him.
Leaning forward, Austin brushed his mamma’s brown hair back, just as Andrea Bocelli hit a crescendo and the heart monitor rang out in one long, continuous beep, telling us all that Chiara Carillo had passed.
As the doctor turned off the monitor and silence filled the room, Austin pressed a kiss to her head and whispered for the final time, “Buona notte, e dormi bene, mia cara. Ti voglio bene.”
Goodnight and sleep well, my darling. I love you.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Austin
She was gone. Mamma was gone.
As I straightened up from Mamma’s body, I cast a glance around the room and had no fuckin’ clue what to do next.
But as soon as I looked down at my Pix, my chest felt that little bit lighter. Bending down to her chair, I pressed a kiss to her head and whispered, “Ti amo.”
“I love you, too.”
“If you would like to wait in the family room across the corridor, you’ll have it to yourself,” Dr. Small informed.
Nodding numbly, I moved behind Lexi’s chair and began rolling her out of the room… and straight into a fuckin’ nightmare.
The minute we entered the corridor, two cops approached me, with the dean. “That’s him right there,” the dean said, pointing in my direction.
The cops marched toward me, pulling out their cuffs. “Austin Carillo, you are under arrest for dealing drugs and distributing class-A narcotics on school property.” They read me the rest of my rights, slamming me against the wall and cuffing my wrists.
“Austin!” Lexi cried, and I saw her trying to get out of her chair, her thin arms unable to support her weight.
I met Rome’s eyes. “Look after her and Lev!”