“Relationships between cops don’t usually end well.”
He smiled and rolled her over so she was on top of him. “Maybe. Maybe not. But I’d like to try.”
It had been as simple as that. A fun night turned into a serious relationship and she’d moved in with him ten months later. Yet ...
She’d never told him she loved him. She didn’t know why. They didn’t talk about it, really. When they decided to move in together it was because her lease was up and they had miserable schedules and rarely saw each other. She’d thought their increasing arguments were because they hadn’t been spending time together, and for a few months everything was wonderful. He even took her to Florida to meet his dad.
Then ... the arguments started again. He seemed to be suspicious of her, and when she called him on it, he told her his last girlfriend had cheated on him and he had a hard time trusting women. And he’d get all sweet and fun again.
She thought back to their big fight last June, a few weeks before she was shot. He’d accused her of cheating on him with Tommy ... but it wasn’t exactly that. There was something more to the fight than sex.
She’d come home late the second week of June, a Saturday. She had Sunday and Monday off, and she needed the break. She hadn’t realized how difficult it would be spying on Tommy. She hated it. More, she hated it because the more she learned the more corrupt she realized he was. She couldn’t talk about it with Jim because the one time she’d brought it up—couched in another conversation so he didn’t realize she had a big problem with it—he’d just dismissed it as being minor shit, not worthy of her attention. He’d even offered once to talk to Tommy for her, but she’d shot him down. If her boyfriend went to bat for her with her partner, she’d lose all the respect she’d earned not only with Tommy, but in the department. Jim got it. In fact, Jim understood cop politics better than anyone, and she’d learned a lot from him.
But that night something was wrong with Jim. She didn’t notice immediately because she’d just witnessed her partner shaking down a low-life drug dealer. Nothing she hadn’t seen before, but Tommy had hit him. She’d had to call him on it. Tommy simply said he’d deserved it. Tommy had been angry about something, and she tried to smooth things over with him, but he was in a shitty mood and Alex was nervous.
So she’d met briefly with Matt Elliott. They’d gotten into the habit of meeting once a week on Mondays for lunch—when Jim worked and she didn’t—someplace outside the city. And it felt like an affair without the benefits, though Matt had never once made a pass at her. But that day, she’d called him and he met her downtown. Told her not to worry, document the confrontation, and he’d call Dean Hooper to find out more about the drug dealer and what might be up.
She’d gotten home late and Jim was furious.
“What the fuck is going on?” he asked.
She feared he knew everything. That he would be angry because if she turned on a fellow cop, it would rub off on him. Image meant everything to Jim.
“It’s been a shitty day.”
“Tell me about it.”
“You’re mad because I’m late? I texted you, told you I had some errands.”
“Errands. Right.”
“I’m not your ex-girlfriend.” This argument was getting old. But at least he didn’t know about Matt. Shit. She felt like she was cheating on him. That made everything worse. She was the scum of the earth.
“What’s going on with you and Cordell?”
That confused her. “What?” Her head hurt. She just wanted to eat dinner and have a beer.
“You heard me.”
“If I was going to cheat on you, it certainly wouldn’t be with Tommy Cordell!”
“Maybe you’re not screwing him, but something’s going on. Is little miss high-and-mighty falling off her high horse?”
“Jim, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you’re making no sense. I’m tired. It’s been a fucked day. You know why I’m pissed? Because my partner decked a kid selling pot.” That was partly the truth. The drug dealer wasn’t really a kid, he was closer to twenty. And Tommy had taken cash, but she decided to hold back sharing that. After all she’d complained about that to Jim before and had gotten nowhere.
“Must have done something.”
“I wouldn’t know, Tommy had me sit in the car like I was on a fucking ride-a-long.”
“Hmm.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Maybe you should ask for a reassignment.”
“Like hell I am. Haven’t you always said to suck it up? That female cops who complain get a bad rep? You’re right.”
“It’s not just women. You’ve got to let it go, Alex, or you’re going to burn out.”