“Yep.”
Kade gripped underneath Ray’s armpits and hauled upward to get him out of the tub, but the body was wet and slippery and he lost his hold. Ray dropped to the floor, half his body in the tub and half out.
Mannie winced at the noise and Kade looked vaguely put out.
“Ah, shit,” Blane muttered. Messing with a dead body wasn’t high on his bucket list. Messing with a naked dead body even less so. But it looked like he had no choice.
Moving forward, he motioned to Ray’s head. “Grab his shoulders. I’ll get the legs. Mannie—”
“I’m not touching him!” the midget protested. “No way!”
“Just get his clothes,” Blane said.
Together, he and Kade maneuvered the body out of the bathroom.
“Don’t put him on my bed,” Kade said, stopping in his tracks as Blane backed into the bedroom. “That’s gross. Where am I supposed to sleep?”
“You actually think we’re going to be staying another night?” Blane asked, exasperated.
Kade considered this. “True.” He tossed his side of the body onto the mattress as Blane set the legs down and shoved the body further so it wouldn’t slide onto the floor.
“C’mon,” Blane said, taking the slacks from Mannie. “You do the shirt.”
“He’s going commando?” Kade asked.
“Do you want to put underwear on a dead guy?”
Apparently, Kade thought he had a point because he didn’t say anything else, just grabbed the shirt and suit jacket.
It was like dressing a particularly heavy and cold life-size doll, and took a surprising amount of effort. Blane found himself slightly out of breath when he was done. He managed the socks and shoes, then stood back to survey their work.
“You can still tell he’s dead,” Mannie said. He’d watched silently through the whole process.
Turning to the table next to the bed, Kade grabbed a pair of sunglasses that had been sitting there and slid them on Ray’s face.
“That’s better,” he said.
Sort of. Blane figured if they put him between them, he could pass for a guy who’d partied a little too hard. They’d just need to move fast and not give anyone the opportunity to look too close.
“All right. That’s as good as he’s going to get,” Blane said. He tucked in his shirt and ran his fingers through his hair, the unfamiliar weight of the ring on his hand reminding him that there was still the problem of an unremembered and unwanted marriage. “Check my credit card,” he said to Kade. “If I paid for anything we did last night, there’ll be a paper trail.”
“Good idea. Gimme five minutes.”
Blane glanced at Mannie as Kade left the room, no doubt looking for his ever-present laptop.
“Leave your number and I’ll make sure he gets that audition information for you,” Blane said.
Mannie shook his head. “I’ll stay.”
“You can trust me.”
“Oh, I believe you,” Mannie said. “But I don’t want to miss this. Way better way to spend a Saturday than anything I had planned.”
Blane just shook his head. “Whatever.” If he wanted to stick around, Blane didn’t really care. He had bigger things to worry about than a bored midget.
“Found the name and address of the wedding chapel,” Kade said, appearing back in the doorway.
“Let’s go,” Blane said, relieved. They’d have a record of the marriage, including a name.
He got on one side of the bed and Kade on the other. Between the two of them, they got Ray on his feet, but Blane immediately spotted the problem.
“His head won’t stay up,” Mannie piped up.
“No shit,” Kade said.
Blane propped Ray’s head against him, but then it lolled back.
“You need one of those neck pillows,” Mannie suggested.
Blane looked pointedly at Kade, who rolled his eyes. “Fine. There’s one in the foyer on the table. Grab it.”
Kade and Blane took Ray into the living room and Mannie scampered over with Kade’s travel pillow. He handed it to Blane who hooked it around Ray’s neck, which did the trick.
“Told ya!” Mannie said, looking pleased.
This was probably the most bizarre and surreal thing Blane had ever done, pretending a dead man was alive, but what choice did they have? Kade was right, they had to get him out of here and Ray didn’t know the difference. It wasn’t like they’d killed him.
“Put the Do Not Disturb on the door,” he told Mannie as they left the suite. No way did he want a maid stumbling across all that money, or the goose, who hissed at them as they passed by. Mean little shit.
“You’re going too fast,” Kade complained as they walked down the hall, Ray’s limp arms slung over their shoulders.
Blane bit back the retort that sprang to his lips. Fighting would get them nowhere. Yet he couldn’t help saying, “Oh, should I go slower so people can get a good look at the obvious corpse we’re carrying?”
He didn’t answer and Blane felt a smidge of remorse for his sarcasm, until Kade muttered, “I thought men mellowed after they got married.”
Chapter Three