“I said, are you in?”
Baldwin tried to look her in the eye, but failed. This woman had witnessed the most desperate act of his life, and in essence, saved him from himself. Would he be able to work with her day after day to find a madman? Would she be able to work with him, knowing he wasn’t altogether stable?
He dragged his eyes back to hers.
“I’m in.”
Twenty-Nine
Taylor was reluctant to leave Baldwin alone, but she knew he needed some time to process what had happened over the last few hours. She’d laid out a few ground rules, including not playing Russian Roulette until the investigation was closed, which he snickered at but nodded gravely in agreement. She had cautiously offered the name of a good friend who happened to be a psychotherapist, and was shocked when Baldwin hadn’t brushed her off. He hadn’t jumped up, shouted for joy and demanded the number to make an appointment on the spot, but at least he had taken the suggestion. She left her friend’s number on his kitchen counter. The next steps were up to him.
She pulled into her driveway and was amused to see a little face staring out the window, eyes in slits of bliss at the sight of her mommy finally making it home for the night.
She turned the key in the lock and could hear the disgruntled mewing from outside. She pushed open the door and laughed when the cat flipped onto her back, desperately begging for a tummy rub. Taylor was only too happy to oblige.
“There’s my little baby. I’m so sorry I had to leave you for so long. Were you lonely? Did you miss your mommy?” She’d long since given up feeling embarrassed talking baby talk to a cat. She rubbed and scratched the kitten’s ears and was rewarded with a long, rumbling purr, then a quick nip on the top of the hand as a reminder not to do it again.
“Ouch, brat, that hurt.” Taylor stood up, sucking the tiny puncture on her hand. “Fine then, see if you get any loving. Interesting day today, though? Did you have any visitors? Did Greg the bunny come see you?” A rabbit had taken up residence outside the side of the house, and came to feast on the bird food scattered on the ground in front of Jade’s favorite window. “Maybe we should put out some food for him in the morning.”
Taylor wandered into the kitchen, grabbed a Diet Coke from the refrigerator and made her way back to the couch. She picked up the remote and put it down. She wasn’t in the mood to surf for an old movie or other distraction. She was thinking about Baldwin.
Jade followed her to the couch, jumped up into her lap, kneading her way to Taylor’s shoulder, where she settled in with her nose pressed into her neck.
“Oh sweetie, that tickles.” She stroked the cat, lost in thought. “You know, John Baldwin is a complete mess.” The purr in response was the only encouragement she needed.
“He’s as screwed up as I am. He lost three of his men and feels totally responsible. He may be, for all I know. But wow, he’s on the edge. I found him getting ready to shoot himself tonight. I can identify with that. I mean, there were a few times there when I didn’t think I was going to make it.” The feelings she’d been bottling up all night overcame her, and she choked back a sob, her shoulders starting to shake. Jade didn’t seem to mind, and kneaded a little more, settling in closer, giving her a hug. Taylor squeezed back, trying to get herself under control.
She took a deep breath, holding it for a count of thirty then letting it out slowly. It was a trick her therapist had taught her, and it did work. She felt much calmer when she let it out. She thought she had finished the self-flagellation. She had been cleared in David’s death. Been put back to work. She’d dealt with the looks, the whispers. Went on with her life with a small empty spot gnawing quietly at her heart.
“Baldwin seems like a decent man. He could be handsome if he got himself back together. I’m telling you, cat, I may be in the business of saving people, but I really didn’t know what to do when I saw him with that gun. I just reacted, like I would do with anyone I found like that. It seemed to work, I think he may be okay. But it scared me.”
Jade gave Taylor one of those unnerving stares, holding the eye contact until Taylor scratched her on the nose and she settled back in.
“Yeah, you’re right. Maybe I want him to be okay. Sam seems to like him, and she’s a pretty good judge of character. We’ll see.” She shrugged, too hard, and the cat dug in her back claws and leapt off her shoulder.
“Damn, girl, why do you do that?” Taylor peeled back her shirt and saw the long scratches on the top of her arm. “I swear, you do that again…”