Swear on This Life

“Em, if it’s gonna get ugly, just come with me. I’ll take you back to my house.”


“Leila would never go for it.”

“You can stay in the fort until we figure things out. Leila is hardly there; it won’t be that bad.”

Scooting across the truck bench, I took his face in my hands and kissed him. “I have to do this. I can’t run. I need a place to live.”

“You wouldn’t be running. You’d be with me, and I could stop borrowing this stupid truck.”

“Oh Jesus, what would I do, Jax? Drop out of school and live in your backyard?”

He squinted and then dropped his head onto the steering wheel. “Should I at least go meet her? Maybe she’ll like me.”

“I guess it can’t hurt.” I scanned his attire. He was wearing a blue Radiohead T-shirt, dark jeans, and Vans. His brown eyes were as light as they could be without being green or yellow, making him look like a celestial being in the sunlight. But it was his long hair that worried me. His hair had grown out to his shoulders, but he wore it tucked behind his ears. I stared at him, thinking idly that he would fit in perfectly in California once we got there. But I was also wondering if it was a good idea to introduce him to Mrs. Keller.

While I was looking at him and wishing we could both disappear, he lifted his head, looked me in the eye, and smiled. Fucking adorable. What woman wouldn’t think so?

“Whatcha lookin’ at?”

“You. Now . . . give her a big smile, just like that. Really lay on the charm, okay? I know you can do it—I’ve seen you in action.”

“I’ll do my best.”

As we made our way to the library steps, Mrs. Keller grabbed Sophia’s hand and pulled her along. She didn’t stop or make eye contact with me.

“Come along, Emerson. We have some work to do.”

“Wait a second. I want you to meet Jackson.”

She passed us and didn’t look back. “Come along, I said.”

Sophia glanced back over her shoulder and jerked her head at me, urging me to follow. I leaned up on my toes and gave Jax a peck on the lips. “I’ll call you and let you know what happens.”

“Okay.” He was staring at Mrs. Keller and Sophia in disbelief. “Are you sure you’re gonna be okay? She seems weirded out.”

“I think I’ll be fine. I mean, what did I really do wrong?”

In the van, on the way home, neither Mrs. Keller nor Sophia spoke. Sophia stared out the passenger window while the boys pinched each other in the second row. As for me, I just waited with bated breath for someone to say something.

It wasn’t until after dinner that Mrs. Keller came up to my room, along with Sophia. I was standing near the dresser brushing out my hair. “You girls will need to pack up tonight. Your social workers will be here in the morning.”

My stomach dropped. “Wait, what? What are you talking about?”

Sophia looked up at me with wide eyes. “We broke the rules, Emmy. Remember, zero tolerance?”

“No, you’re kidding. Wait . . .” Mrs. Keller wouldn’t look at me. She turned on her heel and left the room.

“What the fuck?” I yelled.

“Shhh!” Sophia said.

“Who cares about being quiet if we’re out of here?! This is insane. What the hell did you do to deserve this?”

“I lied.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

Sophia sat on my purple bedspread looking down at her fidgeting hands clasped in her lap. “She asked me where you were, and I said you were studying at school.”

“What if I was? I’ll tell her Jax gave me a ride so I wouldn’t be late. What the hell? Why are you getting sent away?”

“That’s the thing. She saw you at the fishing pond, kissing him by his truck.” She looked up finally with tears in her eyes and a sad smile on her lips.

“Oh my god, Sophia, I’m so sorry.” I started to cry. “But what will they do? Where will you go?”

“Another foster home, I guess.”

I sat down and took her in my arms as we both sobbed. “But you’ve been here practically your whole life. This is insane!”

“It’s okay, Emmy. I’ll be okay.”

“No, I won’t have it. I’ll do whatever. I’ll say whatever, I don’t care. They’re sending you away for this? I can’t believe it.”

“You know why, though, right?” She sniffled.

“Why?”

“They don’t actually love us. I don’t even think they really like us. Trust me, I didn’t just discover this information today. I’ve had seven years to work all this out in my head.”

“But you said you wanted to be here!” My mind was racing. Where would I go? Where would Sophia go? Would I ever see Jackson again?

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