She pauses like she does before she imparts her infinite wisdom. I hated these long stretches of silent time growing up. I always knew she was going to wallop me with something I couldn’t argue, something that would root in my brain and make me feel a certain way. I wait on it with the same trepidation now.
“You don’t remember this and I don’t want you to ever speak of it. But when I was pregnant with Ford, I had very high blood pressure. The doctors wanted me to abort the pregnancy; they said if I carried him, I might die. Your father wanted me to terminate it. He said it wasn’t worth the risk to my life and that I had to think about the rest of you kids.”
“I had no idea,” I say in astonishment.
“I was frozen, Barrett. How could I choose what I wanted, which was to keep the baby, and risk so much that affected so many others? It was a terrible position to be in.”
I nod, understanding her position way better than she even imagines.
“But at the end of the day, I was the one that had to live with it. And I couldn’t live thinking that maybe, somehow, it would work out. And I valued that little baby’s life as much as I valued yours, or Graham’s. So I chose to go through with the pregnancy.
“Your father wasn’t pleased. He thought I was being cavalier about it, risking my health for something that may or may not even be feasible. But I made my choice because it was mine to make. And, as we all know, it worked out.”
“But what if it hadn’t?” I say, my brain spinning. “What if you had died or Ford hadn’t made it?”
“It was possible. Nothing is guaranteed. But living and not knowing would’ve been worse than playing it safe. Sometimes, Barrett, you have to take some risks.”
A grin slides across my face, her words as poignant as ever.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“You are very welcome. I want to have lunch with you soon if you can swing it. I miss seeing your handsome face.”
“I’ll figure something out this week. I have to meet Monroe in the morning . . .”
She takes in a quick breath. “One more thing—Paulina said she was happy to arrange a dinner for you with some of her friends. I know one’s a prosecutor and one is a tremendous benefactor at the hospital in Mason. Maybe that would help?”
I know Paulina’s dinners all too well, and they always end up with her and me getting it on. I’m normally game for that, but things have changed. Majorly.
“I really don’t have any openings in my calendar for something like that,” I say, trying to dissuade her from pushing the issue.
“She said it’d be something small, something intimate.”
I bet.
I try to hide my chuckle. “It’s probably not a good idea, but please thank her for me.”
“Will do. Get some sleep. We’ll talk soon.”
“Love you,” I say, kicking off my shoes.
“Barrett?”
“Yeah?”
“Trust your instincts. They’ll never let you down.”
Barrett
STEAM ROLLS OUT OF THE bathroom as I push the door open. It follows me into the bedroom. I pull the towel tighter around my waist, feeling better after the near-scalding water beat down on me for awhile.
My phone buzzes on my nightstand and I scurry across the room to get it. I haven’t seen Alison in a few days, not since the night she agreed to try things with me, and her calls and texts are the only bright spot in a never-ending life of exasperation.
The thought of her displayed just for me, her shy smile, her sweet voice makes my dick hard. I need to see her.
Picking up the phone and swiping it without looking at the screen, a wide grin is planted on my face when I answer. “Landry.”
“Hey, Barrett,” Daphne croons. “How are you, sugar?”
My eyes roll back in my head, my hand finding my hair. Stifling a groan that begs to erupt, I sit on the edge of my bed.
“Not much.”
An awkward pause settles over the line. Finally, she huffs, taking my lack of interest in her pussy personally. “Barrett? What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean. I haven’t heard from you, haven’t seen you around at all. What’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing has gotten into me,” I mutter. “Look, Daph, I’m just busy these days.”
“Let me relieve some stress, sugar.”
I suck in a deep breath and wish I hadn’t answered this call. “That’s okay.”
“You never turned down pussy, especially when it’s mine, and I promise to wear that black lacy thong you love so much.”
Sighing, I try to keep composed. “I’m tired.”
“Too tired to fuck me, huh?” she tempts. “Remember how much you like it when I ride your cock? How you tell me how tight I am, how you love to watch my ass bounce on you when I ride you reverse cowgirl?”
“Daphne. Stop.”
“Why? It’s true. You love how wet I get for you.”
I look at the ceiling like there’s some divine intervention that’s going to happen by studying the crown moulding.
“Look,” I say, my voice raspy, “let’s not go there, Daph.”
I need to make her feel good about getting brushed off. I need her Dad’s endorsement; I can’t have her pissed. That’s not going to help anyone.
“Whoever you’re fucking right now isn’t going to last, Barrett. You know that. You always come back to me.”