Surviving Ice

“A VHS player . . . I don’t think I’ve seen one of those since grade school.”


“I know, right? Ned was stuck in the eighties as far as technology goes. He hated anything to do with computers. He was probably the most New-Age-tech-illiterate person I’ve ever met. That computer out front? He had no Internet connection until I set it up. It still has Microsoft Office 2000.” I shake my head and laugh. “He just got a smartphone three months ago, because I made him. And he had no idea how to use it. Those assholes stole that, too.”

Sebastian frowns but says nothing. He hits the Power button and the same gray static that I saw that night fills the screen now. I turn away, the sight of it pulling me back to that night.

Why is it even still in here?

In fact . . .

I throw my pizza down on the cardboard box and, giving my hands a half-ass attempt at a clean with a napkin, rope my arms around the monitor and begin dragging it off the desk.

“Here, let me—”

“I’ve got it,” I snap. It’s not heavy, but it’s awkward.

Sebastian says nothing more, simply leaning down to yank the plug out of the wall. He trails behind me as I make my way toward the back door, reaching over my head to push it open because he knows I can’t, but I won’t ask him for help.

“Don’t let it close or we’ll be locked out,” I warn him as I head toward the Dumpster.

I hate this Dumpster. It’s not made with small people in mind, and I have to climb onto cinder blocks just to be able to flip the lid open. But before I can do that, Sebastian is there, still shirtless, with his pants unbuttoned and his rib cage a mess of smeared ink and raw skin, holding the lid open.

Waiting soundlessly for me to hoist the monitor over my head and into the bin with a loud crash.

“Thanks,” I mumble, and even though I don’t want to be happy that Sebastian was here to help and that I needed him . . . I am, and I did.

He trails me back into Black Rabbit, kicking up the doorstop to shut and lock the door behind him.



The last spot of unmarked flesh is filled. I take my time with a cloth, gently wiping the ink away. Even after seven hours, my hand on the verge of cramping, I’m thoroughly enjoying the process of cleaning Sebastian’s body.

He doesn’t move, doesn’t say a word, as I spread ointment over the entire piece. Not until I’ve done all that I can, do I lean back to admire my work. It was beautiful in the sketchbook. On the Sebastian canvas, though . . .

He’s watching my face.

“You’re done.”

He rolls off the table and stands in front of that full-length mirror again, to evaluate my work. This is the only time where my nerves override my outward confidence. When my work is finished and there’s no going back, and my client will either without doubt love or painfully regret his decision, regret putting all his trust in me. “What do you think?”

He simply stands there, staring at it, and I can’t see his face. So I grit my teeth and wait.

Finally he turns and comes back, stepping well within my personal space. He seems to be getting comfortable there. “I think you’re even better than you say you are.”

I feel the smile of relief stretch across my lips. “Better than badass?”

He smirks. “Better than badass.” His voice drops an octave, to a softer, almost concerned timbre. He reaches for my hand, taking it in his. “How’s your hand? Sore?”

It’s such an affectionate, tender gesture, and on the heels of such an intense experience with him. It’s too much, suddenly. I panic and pull away. “Sore. But I’ll survive.” Grabbing the plastic wrap, I command, “Arms up.”

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