“Okay, see you guys later!” Dakota waves and continues with her conversation.
I trail Ivy to the kitchen in a daze, where she scrapes the food off the plates and dumps them into the dishwasher, kicking the door shut on her way by.
She grabs my keys from the kitchen counter. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?” She’s clearly on a mission.
Chewing the inside of her cheek for a moment in thought, she finally answers, “To fix one of my anchors.”
THIRTY-SEVEN
IVY
Fausto and his guys have cleaned up and left, leaving behind nothing but this cold, sterile white cave and the stench of fresh paint.
I drop the box at my feet. It’s every last spray paint can I have. They clatter noisily against each other with the impact.
Sebastian’s boots clomp against the ground as he wanders over to stand next to me, arms folded across his chest, staring at the wide white canvas in front of me. He hasn’t said much since leaving Dakota’s, appearing as disturbed by Esmeralda’s intrusive words as I feel. Though I’m not sure for the same reasons.
How the fuck did she know about anchors? As soon as she said it, I knew exactly what she meant. She had to be talking about Sebastian, and this shop, because they’re the only two things keeping me in San Francisco right now. One old—this shop—and one new, who found me. Sebastian found me.
And someone I lost recently, who loves me dearly . . .
Ned.
Would Ned approve of Sebastian? He didn’t approve of most people, so I find that hard to believe. Then again, Sebastian’s not like anyone I’ve ever met.
I want to race back there and shake Dakota until she admits that she fed that loony tune all my personal information before dinner, that they’re just fucking with my head. But I know Dakota well enough to know that she’d never do that. She actually believes in that stuff.
And she’s almost made me a believer. Almost.
So then, what do Esmeralda’s words to Sebastian mean? By the set jaw and the stiff back and the way his eyes keep drifting elsewhere, she hit a raw nerve with him, too.
Who is the “she” Esmeralda referred to? Is Sebastian in love with her?
Suddenly, Sebastian turns to catch my gaze. I want to ask him what he blames himself for. I want to ask him about this ghost. I want to ask him all kinds of questions.
Instead, I reach for a can of black paint. With his eyes on my back, I close in on the longest wall in Black Rabbit, a solid mass of white with not a single window to break it up.
All it takes is a single swipe with my finger on the nozzle, the inky black marring the canvas in a long line, and I already feel better. “Ned would hate the white.” I point to the expanse of blank wall behind me. “But this . . .” I exhale with a sense of relief. “He’d be all for this.”
“You’re going to need a lot more paint,” Sebastian murmurs, a hint of a smile on his lips now.
He’s right. I will. And capable hands.
Luckily I know where to get both.
I pull out my phone.
“Why did you have all these extras lying around?” Joker asks, rubbing his bald head with one hand as he shoves a slice of pizza in his mouth. It’s long since cold, but no one around here minds cold pizza.
“Because I’m da shit,” Fez hollers, and I roll my eyes, sharing a look with Joker and Weazy. I don’t say anything, though. Fez has earned his status as a decent friend to me. Within twenty minutes of my texting the guys to see if they’d be into helping me around here, they showed up with their entire supply of paint cans, and they’ve worked next to me all night.
I step back now and take in the long eastern wall in Black Rabbit, and the mesmerizing kaleidoscope of colors staring back at me. Some of the original paint remains. It’s still there in the background, peeking out between the loops of letters, incorporated into the whites of eyes and the collars of shirts, but it’s nowhere near as overbearing as it used to be.