I willed him to move closer, thinking if he’d just take one small step, I could close the distance and kiss his whiskered cheeks and full bottom lip and we could start over.
But he moved in the opposite direction, taking a step back toward the front door. “Well, it’s good to see you. I’m glad we could resolve things, you know, since we’ll probably run into each other around here every now and then.”
I swallowed hard and pulled my mouth into a wide smile. “Totally. Good to be on the same page.”
“Exactly.” His eyes lingered on mine, his right hand paused on the door knob.
Manda came clambering down the stairs at an unsteady gait. She held Polly in one hand and gripped Dane’s fingers in the other. A long and spindly Sharpie mustache curled over his mouth, one curlicue arching all the way to his earlobe.
Manda’s cloudy expression lifted instantly when she glimpsed Kai in her foyer.
“Kai! How delightful to see you! We were just talking about you.” As soon as the words rang into the space we shared, Manda clamped her mouth shut.
“Is that right?” Kai’s mouth pulled into a half-smile. “Then I wish I would have shown up a few minutes earlier.” He looked at me again, but not for long. “I was just stopping by with the sign-up for the block party. Charlie has it.”
Never one to miss a cue, I waved the sheet in the air like a banner. Manda raised her eyebrows at my enthusiasm. I stopped waving.
“You ladies enjoy your day. The weather should make it easy.” Kai opened the door and stepped onto the porch.
“Yes, it’s beautiful out! Feels like fall!” I couldn’t stop myself! The exclamation points! The fake smile! The seasonal update!
Manda waved to Kai while I stayed rooted to my spot in the middle of the entryway. Dane tried to squirm out of Manda’s vise grip but to no avail.
“You are sitting with me for a while, mister,” she said, pulling her entire entourage to the family room. She called over her shoulder, “Char? You okay?”
I groaned long and loudly. Dane giggled and said, “Auntie Char cweepy.”
“We resorted to the weather,” I said. My shoulders sagged as I padded toward Manda and the kids.
“That bad, huh?” Manda looked at me with compassion while maintaining an impressive hold on her son’s wiggling torso. “What did you feel?”
I shook my head, trying to filter out the topmost emotions. “I felt sad. And nervous. And like I wished we could back the truck up a few days.” I frowned at her. “I don’t like feeling like I’m not in control. And that man makes me feel like I’m spiraling in a fixed point away from control.”
She bit her lower lip to contain the smile. “God forbid you relinquish control.”
“Exactly!” Exasperation bubbled forth and I let it bubble. “This is just what I’ve been saying. A relationship like that is absolutely impossible right now. I’m so close to getting what I want, and I can’t afford to be distracted.”
Manda pulled Polly’s leggings out a bit to investigate the diaper situation.
I nodded, readily convinced by my own persuasion. “I’m a chef. And chefs make sacrifices to get to the top. The top is within an arm’s length, Manda, and I owe it to myself to get there. I need focus. Calm. Direction. A clear head.” I slapped the arm of my chair with each directive.
Manda wore a thoughtful expression, all the more impressive because Dane was jumping across her lap with squeals and varying degrees of success. “I don’t think I’m one to talk about how to achieve focus and calm,” she said finally. “I’m about to take a Magic Eraser to my son’s skin. Using one toxic substance to rid him of another.” She closed her eyes. “Please don’t ever tell my Earth Moms support group.”
I thought of the noxious fumes that had arisen a week prior when I’d attacked the deep sink at Thrill with something called Kill It. “You’re safe here.”
Manda opened her eyes. “Char, you’re a smart girl. Very capable, very bright, and very, very good at what you do.” She smiled. “You know what you’re doing.” She stood and stopped Dane from performing a frontwards flip. Walking over to me, she leaned down and planted a kiss on my cheek, then waited for Polly and Dane to do the same.
“Trust yourself,” she said, and I waited for the next sentence but nothing came.
I wiped child spit off my cheek and said, “But what? What aren’t you saying? Why the diplomacy?”
She feigned ignorance. “I don’t have the slightest idea what you’re talking about. Unless you mean I should go in for the hard sell on why Kai is one in a million and how he would be a great husband and dad and that maybe, just maybe, your goal in life should not be to control everyone and everything around you.”