Still, I find myself standing. Offering her my hand. Leading her up the stairs to my door and sliding in the key.
My place is dark. Vacant. Heavy in its silence compared to the noise that surrounded us downstairs. I can hear Lilly breathing next to my ear, her breaths somehow calmer than mine.
I kick the door closed behind us. The apartment is plunged into almost total darkness.
Kat immediately comes bounding out to meet us. She skids to a halt when she sees Lilly, her head cocked and her nose anxiously sampling the air.
“Hey, Kat,” Lilly sings to her.
Kat’s ears go up, her tail flying behind her.
“This is the entryway,” I tell Lilly, feeling stiff. Awkward. I hit the lights with my elbow. “That’s the living room over there.”
She surveys the heavy furniture. The dark leather couches. “It’s manly.”
“That’s what I wanted. I asked for lumberjack chic.”
“Nailed it.”
“Thanks. This is the kitchen,” I tell her, guiding her to the other side of the loft. The layout is identical to downstairs, the kitchen included. Same cabinets, counters, and appliances.
“I’m surprised it’s not covered in a layer of dust,” Lilly comments.
“I have a housekeeper.”
“That does not surprise me.”
“It doesn’t surprise anyone. Ready for the bathroom? It’s impressive. A faucet and everything.”
I take her on a tour of the entire place. Every room. Even my bedroom.
I don’t tell her that I don’t let people up here. I don’t mention that even Nikki, who I dated for months, was rarely here, and she only saw it after we’d been together for nearly two months. I don’t tell her that I wanted her to see it. I wanted to share it with her the same way I wanted her to meet Kat and I wanted her to see the field. These things are important to me, close to me.
“This is fancy,” she comments, her voice echoing off the tiles of my shower.
This is the end of the tour. The tall, open, two headed shower surrounded by giant gray tiles and glass walls in my master bathroom.
I smile at her, taking hold of her hips. “You look good in my apartment.”
“I look good everywhere,” she boasts, adopting an arrogant tone that sounds funnily foreign from her.
I chuckle, my forehead dropping to hers. “Now you sound like me.”
“See how annoying it is?”
“It’s sexy. Do it again.”
“My shower gets all the girls wet,” she says, dropping her voice deep trying to match mine.
I laugh, the sound bouncing around us. “I would never say that. You think that sounds like me?”
“That is absolutely something you would say!”
“Maybe. Do it again.”
Lilly thinks for a second, her head rolling back and forth gently against mine. “Kiss me,” she finally whispers.
“That’s pretty tame. I’m more offensive than that, remember?”
“No, Colt, I’m serious.” She pulls at my shoulders, rising up on her toes. “Kiss me.”
I get the message. I close the meager distance between us to kiss her. To devour her. She holds on as I grab her ass to lift her up and pin her body against the wall. Her tongue dances in my mouth. It makes me crazy. Wild. Her legs wrap around me tightly, her hips rolling to grind against mine, and I groan into her mouth. I raise my hand to her hair, tangling my fingers in the cool strands. My elbow bumps the wall, the other knocking against the knob for the shower, pressing it down. Turning it on.
Cold water sprays down on top of us from every direction.
Lilly breaks away, shrieking in protest that turns to laughter. “You did that on purpose!”
“It was an accident.”
“Nothing you do is accidental.”
I lean my head back to let the water pour between us. She’s soaked in a second. Her tank top clings to her skin that glistens peaches and cream in color. Satin soft to the touch. I lean in to lick a line of water cascading down her neck, making her shiver.
“You can say it,” she whispers, her fingers combing through my wet hair. “I know you’re dying to say it.”
I smile against her skin, nipping at her neck. Kissing a line along her jaw to her ear where I whisper, “You’re so fucking wet.”
***
Did I have sex with Lilly in that shower?
No.
Did I want to?
Ask my blue balls. They have a lot to say on the matter.
Am I some kind of *? What guy backs out of a situation like that without sealing the deal, right?