Lilly snickers. “Nice.”
“Nah, I really don’t know. That mining shit is written on the sign when you drive in. It’s a small town. I guess they’ve gotta stake whatever claims to fame they can. Have you ever seen Cars? The Disney movie?”
“Of course.”
“Mater is there. The truck that people in town say inspired Mater, anyway. A red firetruck too. And I think they’ve got the blue one now. I can’t remember his name.”
“Doc Hudson.”
I turn to her, surprised. “That’s right.”
“I know my Disney,” she explains nonchalantly.
“What’s your take on Aladdin?”
“It’s a classic. One of the best. Why?”
I shrug casually. “Just curious.”
“Random. So your mom is still in Galena?”
“With Charlie and Makenzie. The Schaal family, living the dream right down to the white picket fence.”
Lilly looks at me sideways, her face creased with concern, and I realize how that sounded; the tone I took. Sarcastic. Sharp.
I grin to soften the sentiment. “I feel like an outsider sometimes. That’s all.”
“Yeah, I get that,” she replies quietly.
“The thing with your dad?”
“Yeah. You’re there but you feel like you’re on the outside looking in. Like you’ve been shut out even when you’re sitting right there in the middle of it all.”
“Exactly. I like going home, but it’s…”
“It’s not home anymore.”
“No,” I agree tiredly. “It’s not my home. It’s their home and I’m just visiting.”
“It’s a bummer.”
“Yeah.”
She shakes her head in disgust, sitting up straight. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For bringing you down. You’re this insanely happy person and of course my reaction to that is to depress the shit out of you.”
“I’m not depressed,” I chuckle.
“I have a way of doing that,” she continues, not letting herself off the hook. “Of being morose as hell. I didn’t used to be that way.”
“I’m not insanely happy.”
“You’re pretty happy.”
“I am right now.”
She grins, her eyes shining in the green light from the dash. “Okay, I think maybe I should go after all. It’s getting late and you’re getting sappy.”
“That wasn’t sappy.”
“It was getting close.”
“Nah, close is saying you look beautiful when you’re racing. Close is saying I like the sound of your laugh.” I reach out to hook her long hair behind her ear. She watches me as I do it, her eyes wary. “Close is telling you how bad I want to kiss you.”
Lilly blinks, her face unreadable. It’s too many things, too many emotions. “I need to go,” she tells me quietly, her voice surprisingly soft.
I lower my hand to start the engine. “I’ll go with you.”
“No.”
“You’re going to the bakery, right? It’s too late to be worth it to go home, so you’re going to work.”
She shakes her head. “How the hell did you know that?”
“Because it’s what I would do. It’s what I’m going to do.”
“You should go home and sleep.”
“Nah, there’s not enough time. It’s not worth it.”
“It is for you. You have an extra hour.”
“I’m gonna follow you to the bakery,” I tell her stubbornly. “It’s up to you whether or not you let me inside. Do you want me to go start your car for you? Get it warmed up inside before you go over there?”
“No, I’ll be fine, but you better be careful. It’s nice shit like that that will get you roughed up.”
“Worth it.”
“See, you say that now…”
“I’ll always say that.”
“Kneecaps.”
“Bakery,” I fire back. “Let’s go. I’m hungry.”
When she gets out of my car I check out her ass. I can’t help it. It’s right there and it’s perfect. Everything about her is perfect, even her damage.
She’s got it, that’s for sure. Something about her and her dad plus a lot of distrust about me and my fame. That’s never been a problem before. All of the things that have been working in my favor for years are turning against me and I really don’t know how to handle it. I don’t know how to be any more real with her than I am, because I’m already in uncharted territory here. I haven’t felt like this since I was a kid in junior high who just realized girls are pretty. That they made my palms sweat and my pants feel tight. I’m basically a seventh grader with a bank roll right now.
I watch and wait as Lilly hurries to her Jeep. As her ass runs away from me, taunting me. Once she’s in, she’s quick to flip on her headlights and turn toward the exit. I follow closely behind her, her taillights red and blurry to my exhausted eyes. When I pull out of the parking lot in the opposite direction of home, I know it’s crazy to do it. It’s crazy to be awake this late to begin with, but staying up even later when I have a practice coming at dawn, that’s just stupid.
It’s gonna hurt. I’m gonna be sorry. I need to be smarter than this.
But not yet.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
LILLY