“I don’t know, Graham.”
“What you do mean you don’t know?”
“I’ve been dreading this moment for five years. I don’t know how to possibly explain my thinking to you in a way that you’ll understand.”
“Well…I have all damn day. Figure it out.” When she continued to be silent, I said, “Alright, I’ll start then. You were fucking Liam and me at the same time, correct?”
“Yes.”
“How long after we were last together did you find out you were pregnant?”
“A month.”
“How far along were you?”
“Two months.”
I threw a pen across the room in anger. “How the fuck could you do this?” Spit had flown out of my mouth as I said it.
Tears started to form in her eyes. “Can you try to let me explain?”
“I’m looking forward to watching you try to explain your way out of this, in fact.”
She closed her eyes for a moment then said, “I was in love with both of you, Graham. I truly was. It was selfish of me to feel entitled to that, but I did. I wanted it to go on forever. Being with both of you was the best of both worlds. I knew that once you found out, that would be it. I’d told Liam that you and I had stopped sleeping together. He didn’t know that I’d been with both of you at the same time. Apparently, you never told him otherwise.”
“I barely spoke to either one of you after I caught you.”
“I know. I’m quite aware. It still breaks my heart to this day.” She gazed out the window for what seemed like minutes to gather her thoughts. Then, she finally spoke again. “When Chloe was born, her complexion was lighter than it is now. She didn’t have much hair. It wasn’t immediately evident that she didn’t look like either Liam or me. As she became a toddler, I knew he was noticing how much she looked like you. He chose to ignore it. We both chose to ignore it. Things were so bad between the three of us at that time. And Liam loved Chloe more than life. He couldn’t have faced the possibility that she wasn’t really his.”
“What about me? Did you think I would never find out?”
“Deep down, I always felt she was yours. And, to be honest, that made me happy. Things between Liam and me went sour pretty fast after we were married. I realized that I’d made a huge mistake. I still loved you so much and will always deeply regret hurting you.”
“Again, I still don’t understand how you could’ve kept this from me.”
“I don’t have an excuse, except to say that I didn’t want to disrupt Chloe’s life. And a part of me felt like I couldn’t do that to Liam. Staying with him was the lesser of two evils because I knew you wouldn’t ever take me back. So, I let things be the way they were. I was just trying to keep the peace.” More tears fell from her eyes.
I refused to soften. “I want a paternity test immediately.”
“I’m not going to fight you on that, Graham. I’ll give you whatever you want. Time with her. The test. All that I ask is that if it turns out you’re the father, please wait to tell her until she’s a little older and can understand better. She just lost the only father she’s ever known. And she’s devastated.”
“I would never do anything to harm her. I’m fine with not telling her for a while if that’s in her best interest.”
“I really do care about you. I never meant to hurt you. Please believe that.”
“I want that test within a week, Genevieve. I’ll make the arrangements so that I can be sure the results are accurate.”
A look of panic suddenly washed over her face. “You’re not going to try to take her away from me, are you?”
“I would never take a child away from its mother.”
Genevieve sniffled. “Thank you.”
“If it turns out she’s mine, I want you to gather every single picture you have ever taken of her since the day she was born. Do you understand me?”
She didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”
***
THAT NIGHT, ALL I WANTED was to see Soraya. Smell Soraya. Sleep next to Soraya. My body felt like it was withdrawing from the strongest kind of drug. It had only been a few days without her, but it felt like a lifetime. It wasn’t just the physical need. I missed her humor, her sarcasm, her laugh.
It was late. I had just left the hospital from visiting Meme, and I wasn’t sure if Soraya would even still be up. My driver, Louis, had the rest of the night off. Without thinking, I grabbed my jacket and headed down to the garage.
I hadn’t texted or called her first. So, driving to her place was a risk. But I couldn’t chance her telling me not to come.
There was no parking near her apartment, so I had to walk two blocks in the pouring rain. When I finally got to her door, I pressed the buzzer to her apartment.
She sounded groggy. “Hello?”
I closed my eyes because I’d missed her voice. “Baby, it’s me.”
“Graham…it’s late.”
I leaned my forehead against the wall. “I know.”