“That’ll change once you get to know me,” Cash said with a wink. “Is this all of us? Aventura de cuatro amigos?”
“We’re still waiting for our friend Mo,” Topher said. “She’s running a few minutes late, but she always does. Not that she’s a bad person or anything—that’s not what I meant to imply! She’s going to lose her goddamn mind when she sees you.”
“Sorry I was running a little late myself,” Cash apologized. “I was in Santa Clara for the Wiz Kids convention and booked the first flight I could get to Chicago.”
“I’m glad you got a ticket,” Topher said. “What airline?”
“Oh, I don’t do airlines anymore,” Cash said. “I fly private. It’s pricey but beats having to take my shoes off in public, you know what I mean?”
The thought made Sam squeal excitedly, as if he’d said he had flown a dragon.
“Is this our chariot?” Cash asked, and nodded to the car.
He went to the station wagon and walked around it in a circle, like he was inspecting a car for sale.
“Yeah, sorry,” Topher said with a nervous laugh. “I’m sure it’s not what you’re used to—”
“Is that real wood on the sides?” Cash said. “Huh, I’ve seen these kinds of cars in John Hughes movies, but I didn’t think they still existed. This is gonna be an adventure.”
“You can say that again,” Joey peeped.
They heard wheels rolling down the sidewalk nearby. Mo appeared a moment later, pulling her large pink suitcase behind her and carrying a large pink cardboard box.
“Hey!” Topher said. “Boy, do we have something cool to tell—”
“I’m sorry I’m late, but you guys aren’t going to believe what happened to me this morning,” Mo said. “I was halfway here when I realized I hadn’t packed a swimsuit, so I had to turn around and go home. I walked into my bedroom and saw Peaches had taken a huge dump in the middle of my bed, so I had to clean it up and put my comforter in the washer. Then, on my way back, I realized I was starving and figured since I was late anyway I would stop and get doughnuts at the corner store for us to snack on… Why are you all looking at me like I have mouth herpes?”
Her friends were shocked she hadn’t noticed Cash yet. They nodded toward him and when Mo’s eyes finally landed on the actor it only took a second for it to sink in. She dropped the box of doughnuts and let out a scream so loud dogs could hear it in Indiana.
“You must be Mo,” Cash said.
Chapter Seven
TRUTH-SHAMING
As Topher drove through town toward Interstate 55, he spent more time looking at Cash in the rearview mirror than at the road ahead. Sam sat beside him in the front while Joey and Mo shared the backseat, and none of them could take their eyes off their surprise guest, either. They expected the sound of their alarm clocks to wake them from a dream at any moment. However, the strange alternative reality was never interrupted. This was real life!
“So… Downers Grove, huh?” Cash said as the community passed by his window. “What exactly goes on in Downers Grove?”
The actor was stretched out across the very back of the station wagon, using the others’ luggage as oversized pillows. Everyone knew it was against the law for him to be without a seat belt, but none of them were about to reprimand their favorite television star.
“Absolutely nothing,” Joey said.
“Gotcha. It’s kind of a bummer name for a town. Is it named after someone in particular or is there an Uppers Cove nearby?”
“It was named after Pierce Downer,” Sam said. “He was an evangelist who founded the town in 1832. At least that’s what a plaque at the post office says.”
“Solid fact, Sam,” Cash said. “I can’t tell if it looks more like the location of a Hallmark movie or a slasher film.”
“Why are you with us?” Mo blurted out. She had been holding it in since they got in the car and couldn’t contain it anymore. “Sorry, that came out wrong. I’m glad you’re here, but what possessed you to join four strangers on a road trip?”
“Well, I’ve never been on a real road trip before and thought it’d be fun,” Cash said. “Besides, it’s a nice way to get to know some of my biggest fans a little better, say thank you, give back—all that shit. By the way, don’t post anything on the Internet about me being with you or we’ll get trailed by all the Wizzers in the Midwest.”
“Copy that,” Topher said. “Thanks again for joining us. We’re going to remember this forever. It’s the coolest thing that’s ever happened to—”
“Do you guys mind if I smoke in here?” Cash asked.
The request took Topher off guard. “Um… actually, this is my mom’s car, so—”
Sam elbowed Topher in the ribs and shot him a look that said, Shut your mouth or I’ll slit your throat with my pinkie nail.
“Yeah, it’s totally fine,” Sam said.