“Maybe we’re just on the cruise to make new memories with old friends,” Ana said.
“I’m here to flesh out this story I promised people and to move on from things,” Chanel said.
Her eyes connected with mine as our food was set in front of us. The four of us ate and caught up a little bit, asking each other about the past ten years. Chanel talked a little bit about her years at Cornell and what she had been doing afterward, and Ana talked about how she had somehow fallen into marketing. Tommy regaled Ana with stories of his real estate business, but I could feel Chanel’s eyes on me.
“What have you been doing the past ten years?” she asked.
I downed the rest of my drink before I picked up my fork.
“I just retired from the Navy,” I said.
“Oh, shit. You enlisted?” Ana asked.
“Enlisted and became a SEAL,” Tommy said.
“What? You’re a Navy SEAL?” Ana asked.
“Was a Navy SEAL. My contract ended about a month ago, and I didn’t re-up,” I said.
“Why not?” Chanel asked.
I turned my gaze back towards her as I drew in a deep breath.
“Only so much of that shit I could take,” I said.
“I can only imagine,” she said.
“Well, I don’t know about any of you guys, but I could use another drink,” Ana said.
“Let me escort you,” Tommy said. “I could use another one as well.”
I watched Tommy offer his arm to her. Hook, line, and sinker. The two of them were going to be banging somewhere, which meant either myself or Chanel would be out of a room at least for a little while. We watched as the two of them ventured to the bar to get another drink, leaning into one another and loosening up as they took shots.
“She’ll puke on him before she can get him naked,” Chanel said.
“You’d be shocked as to what Tommy will fuck through,” I said.
Chanel threw her head back and laughed before she grabbed her wine glass.
“You look beautiful tonight,” I said.
Her eyes connected with mine, raking quickly over me before she nodded.
“You fill out that shirt nicely,” she said.
“I read your blog sometimes,” I said.
“Oh? And what do you think of it?”
“It’s really good. Your writing always has been. I can still remember those letters you’d write to me between classes in high school. I was always in awe of your ability to put words together.”
I saw her blush as she grinned into her wine glass.
“And there they go,” I said.
Chanel whipped her head up as Ana and Tommy left arm-in-arm from the dining room.
“Which room do you think they’ll end up in?” she asked.
“Not gonna lie, if Tommy can get into your room, he will,” I said.
“Great,” she groaned.
“If you want, you could join me on the bow. I was headed there anyway after this dinner,” I said.
“Where all the lounge chairs are?” she asked. I nodded. “We could keep talking or we could stargaze. I’ve also heard rumors about a twenty-four seven pizzeria and soft-serve ice cream machine over that way.”
“You had me at pizza,” she said with a grin.
“Ah, so you’re still a pizza fanatic,” I said as I got up.
“Not a chance I’d give up pizza, though I pile more vegetables on than I used to.”
“Not a three-meat lover any longer?”
“Nope. I developed this fun little thing called heartburn. I guess that’s what happens when people get old.”
“Hey, we aren’t old. We aren’t even thirty yet.”
“That’s old compared to our high school days,” she said.
“True,” I said.
“I take it you know the way to the bow of the ship?” she asked. “Because I sure as hell don’t.”
“I’d better, or my former commanding officers would be seriously disappointed in me.”
I held out my hand to her, hoping she would take it. Her eyes settled on the gesture, and I could see that sea of questions kick up a bit. The boat was gliding smoothly along the ocean, the waves lightly rocking us in the process. Her eyes slid back up to mine, dancing along my face before she sighed.
Then, she slipped her perfect little hand into mine as memories came crashing back.
Her hand was just as warm and soft as I remembered it, and part of me wondered if I could intentionally get us lost so I could hold onto it a little longer.
Chapter 5 Chanel
His hand was strong around mine as he led me out onto the bow of the ship. The deck was beautiful, and the sunset over the ocean was perfect. It was mirrored precisely as the ship cut right into the picture of it all, and I felt compelled to photograph it. I set my drink down on the ledge of the ship and grabbed my camera, snapping pictures to try and capture the beauty of what I was witnessing.
But I could feel Rhett’s eyes on me the entire time.
I was ready to talk with him, to give him a piece of my mind about everything that had transpired between us. My boiling blood was thrashing about like the waves of the ocean, crimson red like my wine and glowing with heated delight like the sunset setting before my eyes. I turned around and captured an entire picture of the ship from my point of view, trying to put space in between Rhett and me. Despite how angry I was with him, I could feel the tension brewing between us the moment I had decided to take his hand.
What a stupid fucking move for me to make. But I couldn’t avoid the warmth I still felt when I was near him. After all this fucking time, and all that fucking heartache. Damn him.
The entire time we walked, I felt his hand flex. I felt the strength in his fingers and the calluses rubbing against my palm. I could see his back working underneath the tightness of his button-down shirt, a shirt that was too fucking small for him.
Part of me wanted to rip it off him before I smacked him across his face, just so I could run my fingertips down the muscles I knew the fabric of his clothes covered.
Once I was done taking pictures, I turned back around. Rhett was holding my wine glass out for me, his body silhouetted by the setting of the sun. My eyes danced along his darkened form. His eyes were burrowing into my soul. I held up my hand, coaxing him into standing there before I lifted my camera to him.
“Don’t,” he said.
“Please. Just one.”
I watched him nod as he lowered my wine glass to his side.
I snapped picture after picture, hoping to capture the breathtaking moment. His jaw was outlined against the setting sun, and his broad shoulders were draped in an angelic glow. He looked almost vulnerable behind the walls drawn up in his eyes. The slightest glimmer of the sun reflected off his wetted lips, and there was something that tugged me toward him and tossed me into his magnetic frame, hoping I would stick this time.
I dropped my camera and reached for my wine glass, our fingers brushing against one another. The electricity that flooded up my arm rattled my bones, and I tried to shake the feelings I was experiencing.
“Do you want to start, or should I?” I asked.
“I’ve missed you,” Rhett said.
I almost dropped my wine glass as I choked on the sip I took.
“What?” I asked.
“No one was ever able to replace you and what we had. And trust me, I tried.”
“Uh-huh,” I said.
“Despite what happened between us, I loved you, Chanel. I know I hurt you as badly as I could have that night, and I’ve never really forgiven myself for it. I honestly don’t know how it happened, to tell you the truth. Maybe part of me knew you deserved so much better than I could offer you.”
I felt my jaw drop in shock as he turned toward me. I had no idea what to say. What the hell was I supposed to say to that? A few seconds ago, I was ready to hit him. I was ready to knock his world back into last week, so he would no longer be on this cruise. But now I was stunned, and his face was moving closer to mine, and soon, I could feel his breath on my lips, hovering there, pulsing like the fucking tease he was.