For years, I searched for a sign of myself in Sarah’s face, but I never found any. Finally, when I learned the truth about her, it made sense. Everything I thought I knew was no longer true. I expected my feelings for Sarah to change, but they never did. It hurt like hell to know the truth about the affair, but as far as I was concerned, Sarah was 100 percent my little girl. No one could take that away from me.
As I watched her sleeping beside her brother, I knew I’d made the right decision to move. Sarah and her brother were the only ones that kept me pushing forward. Without them, I would never have risen out of my deep depression. It was an ugly place for me and they deserved so much more. I still had demons inside that wanted to pull me back into that hell hole, but I had two good reasons to tell those demons to go fuck off.
At five years old, Sarah was the bane of her brother’s existence. Tommy was seven and smack in the middle of a “girls-have-cooties” phase. If Sarah so much as sneezed wrong, her brother flew into a full-blown rage that took hours to subside. Sarah, of course, loved to rile him up. It was her mission during the entire ride to make him as angry as possible and then watch while he got in trouble for being mean. I knew it wasn’t fair, but I expected more from Tommy. He was older.
When we finally pulled off the highway and began the trek into Telluride, the kids fell asleep together. I glanced behind me in the rearview mirror and saw them each with their heads flopped back against their seats. I smiled to myself and kept driving. There were times during the trip when I’d asked myself why we didn’t just catch a flight. I could have easily paid for first class tickets to Colorado, but the idea of a car trip brought back blissful memories of my childhood. I guess I wanted them to have the same experience. Selfishly, it also allowed me to slow down time. In that moment, they were so young and innocent that I wanted to freeze them forever.
In so many ways, they were still babies, safe from harm and the world’s harsh realities. Still, I knew better. At seven and five, my kids had been through more grief than people three times their ages. My wife, their mother, passed away just over a year before our move to Telluride.
She developed cancer after Sarah’s first birthday, and three years later, she lost the fight. It was hard on the kids, but their innocence helped them grieve quickly and start to move on. For me, it was different.
Thirty minutes later, we pulled into the driveway of our new home, where the moving truck was waiting for us. I climbed out of the car, shaking hands with the moving guys and unlocking the front door. While we unloaded, I let the kids continue sleeping. It was nice to have a bit of peace and quiet, but I also wanted them out of the way while the movers were unloading the furniture and boxes. The last thing I needed was one of them getting hurt.
“Anything else, Mr. Evans?” one of the moving guys asked after they carried the last box inside.
“No.” I shook my head.
“All right,” he said with a nod. “Good luck with everything.”
“Thanks.” I’d already paid the moving company a large sum of money, and I didn’t see a reason to tip the men for doing their jobs.
Just as I was about to unload the luggage from the trunk, Sarah woke up and stepped out of the car. She let the door slam closed behind her. Tommy woke at the sound and rubbed his eyes. He looked around for a few seconds before he too climbed out of the car.
“We’re here already?” Tommy asked.
“Yup.” I said. “What do you think?”
Tommy and Sarah both looked at the house. I followed their gazes and took in the beauty of the house before us. In such a small town, we could get a house three times the size of our home back in San Diego.
“It sucks,” Sarah said boldly.
“Sarah.” I shot her a warning look, but she just shrugged.
“Well, you asked,” she said.
“It’s fine,” Tommy said. “It’s fine, Dad.”
“Can we go inside now?” Sarah asked.
“Sure.” I nodded, and the kids hurried through the front door.
Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I grabbed our luggage out of the trunk and heaved it up the front steps. Once inside, I set the bags in the foyer and went to find my kids. They’d already disappeared, which wasn’t a surprise.
“Sarah!” I called. “Tommy!”
“We’re upstairs!” Tommy yelled back.
With a sigh, I mounted the stairs and went to find them. They were in the master bedroom, looking out the window at the street below.
As they turned around, I noticed the look on Sarah’s face. She was glowering at me, her green eyes narrowed in anger.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I don’t like it,” she said firmly.
“What about it don’t you like?” I asked.
“Everything.”
Shit. They hate it here. How the hell am I going to handle this by myself?
I sighed and walked over to them. Kneeling, I took each of their hands and turned them to face me. Tommy looked at me with wide eyes, waiting for me to speak. Sarah continued to glare. “Look,” I said. “It’s no secret I haven’t done the best job since Mom died. I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to keep things together well enough, but I’m trying. This move is what we all need. We can start fresh here.”
I held my tongue from adding the part about Sarah’s biological father having the nerve to try to waltz into her life and take her away from the only home she’d ever known. As if I’d just stand there and let him take my precious girl away from me. Sure, I had a great chance of winning the custody battle, but he would plant a seed in Sarah’s impressionable mind that she wasn’t my girl – a seed that would eat her up inside. She’d already lost one parent; there was no telling what the news could do to her now. Was I going to stand there and find out? Not a damn chance.
After I’d made it clear that Sarah was not leaving my side and she’d be told the truth when she was old enough to understand, he continued to stand his ground and push harder to get what he wanted.
I understood exactly what was happening. It was more an ego issue with him than what was best for Sarah. As far as I was concerned, I had two choices: beat the crap out of the guy who knocked up my wife and wanted to take my daughter away from me, or leave town.
“We can create new memories here. Doesn’t that sound good?”
They remained silent, just watching me. After a minute, Sarah’s expression softened and she took a step forward. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I felt that familiar tug in my chest that told me how much I loved her. Tommy joined the hug and we held each other.
My life after Telissa’s death had been anything but easy. I shut down and hid. I barely spoke to anyone other than my kids. They became my life, my entire world. Nothing and no one mattered as much as them. My job as a partner at my legal practice stopped mattering to me. I showed up late for meetings and blew off clients left and right. In the end, when I decided to make the move to Colorado, it was a no surprise that I chose to sell off my share to the other partners. They bought me out and, along with my existing fortune, it left me with a solid financial foundation for our new life in Colorado.
When we pulled away, I smiled gratefully at them both and stood up. We walked around the rest of the house, and I showed them their rooms. Sarah’s mood instantly improved when she saw her brand-new bedroom set already assembled for her. Tommy was still looking around as if he thought the walls might tumble down around us, but I knew he would warm up soon enough.
“How does pizza sound?” I asked. “We can go into town and check it out, sound good?”
“Yeah!” Sarah said with glee. Tommy nodded, and we all headed back out to the car.
I hadn’t spent enough time in Telluride to know where everything was, but the town was so small that it didn’t matter. I drove into the main square and immediately found a pizza place. I parked out front and cut the engine. I helped Sarah out of the car, and she grabbed my hand as we walked inside.
The second we stepped through the door, the entire place fell silent. Pairs of eyes turned to face us, and I froze, unsure of what to do. Tommy took a step back, instinctively hiding himself behind me. Sarah just squeezed my hand tighter and looked up at me.