I reach for my car keys. “Do you think you could bear to spend some time with Tyler while I take off for a while?”
She nods and squeezes my arm. “Go.”
* * *
She takes forever to answer her door, which means I’m worked up by the time we’re facing each other.
“Were you going to tell me?” I demand, pushing my way into her apartment. My body is filled with a desperate need to get her to change her mind. It’s manifesting itself as anger, but I’m well aware it’s actually fear.
I can’t lose her.
She closes the door. “Sure, come on in, Luke.”
I spin around. “When were you going to tell me?” I’m so focused on her answer that I hardly pay attention to the dress she’s wearing. It barely covers her thighs and under any other circumstance, I wouldn’t be able to hold myself back from running my hand up her toned leg to slip under the flimsy material.
I know the answer to my question just by looking at her face. “I wasn’t going to tell you, Luke.”
My chest pumps up and down. Heavy breaths leave my body. “So those months together meant nothing to you? I wasn’t even on your list of people to say goodbye to?”
Fuck, she can’t go.
I can’t let her fucking go.
Her mouth crumples into a sad line. Closing the distance between us, she proves she’s a better person than me. Placing her hand on my chest, she says, “Those months meant everything to me, Luke. You mean everything to me. I’m going to ignore your anger because I know you’re hurting. And I’m sorry to hurt you more, but in the end, I hope your happiness comes from this decision.”
My brain scrambles to figure out what the hell she means. “You’re going to have to back this up and explain it, Callie, because you’re not making any sense.”
“All you ever wanted was a stable family. Mum and Dad together. Well, I want you to have that. I’m going to take this job overseas so you can find happiness with your family.”
I rub the back of my neck. This can’t be happening. “You are my family, Callie. You’re who I want. I don’t love Jolene anymore.”
“How do you know?”
My anxiety ratchets up several notches. Why isn’t she listening to me? “Baby, my love for you is so black and white. Why can’t you see it? You’re everything to me. There is no uncertainty.”
“Life isn’t lived in black and white, Luke. You taught me that. We exist in shades of colour. Some days are the blackest of black while others are as pure as white. And then, when we’re lucky, there are days filled with brilliant bursts of colour. My time with you was filled with days of red, and yellow, and green, and all the colours of the rainbow. I’ll cherish those days for eternity. But you have a wife and a son who need you, and regardless of where your family ends up, I won’t be the person who stood in the way. Jolene has existed in black for too long, and as much as you two have travelled a path of darkness together, you loved that woman enough to marry her and have a child together. I want to give you the chance to explore whether you’re really ready to let that love go.”
I try not to hear her words.
I need to make her understand.
“I want you, Callie. I was an idiot to let you go in the first place. Jolene knows our marriage is over.”
She takes a deep breath. “Luke, this job in LA is everything I’ve ever wanted. If I don’t at least try it, I’ll never know what could have been.”
I still. Fuck, I’m a selfish bastard. “What’s the job?”
“Writing on a new TV show. It’s an amazing opportunity they’ve offered me. It could lead to all kinds of writing work.”
This is her dream. I know that. And as much as it will fucking kill me, I need to let her go so she can chase that dream. I trail a finger down her cheek. “I’m so proud of you.”
She catches my hand before it leaves her cheek. “Thank you.”
Her touch jolts want through me. I need to get out of here before I beg her to forget her dream. Letting her hand go, I take a step away. “When do you leave?”
Her voice drops to an almost whisper. “Tomorrow.”
As I stare at her, taking that in, I know I’ll never survive this woman. She brought me back to life, and loved me so damn hard. I never knew love so good. It’ll steal my everything when she leaves.
Part II
SIX MONTHS LATER
43
Callie
I shove my key in the lock to my apartment’s front door and hurriedly push the door open. I’m running so late and I’m concerned I’ll miss my weekly phone call with Avery. Tuesday nights is bestie time. Always.
Dropping my bag onto the kitchen counter, I almost knock my plant to the floor as I round the corner to the fridge. I’m so damn hungry. It’s been nearly eight hours since lunch and with no time for food between then and now, I could eat everything in my fridge. Not that there’s much in there, so it probably wouldn’t even fill me up.
The story of my life lately.
Not much spare cash.
Not much food.