My father stood at the head of the table, carving pieces of turkey onto our plates.
For a few minutes, we passed dishes around, and conversation was unnecessary. But after the silence became heavy, I thought of something to say. “I have a new case at work. The cutest toddler who’s deaf. She can’t hear a thing, but she likes it when her mother sings. She puts her hand right here.” I covered my chin and my lower lip with my hand. “It’s like she knows her mother is making noise.” I’d had them in my office on Tuesday, and it was fascinating to watch.
“Poor kid,” my father said.
“Not for long. The doctors think cochlear implants might restore her hearing. And she’s only eighteen months old.”
“Can they do that for a child so young?” my father asked, heaping stuffing onto his plate.
“It’s better to do it young. Older patients sometimes can’t get used to them. We just have to figure out how this family can afford it. They have health insurance, but the deductible is five thousand dollars.”
My father nodded slowly. “That’s good work you’re doing.”
A rare compliment from my father. Who knew? “What’s new with you at work?”
He gave a chuckle and shook his head. “Just keeping the peace, trying to improve the neighborhood. Can’t believe the Nickel kid is getting any business at his father’s garage. I had one of my boys write him a ticket for putting his new sign on the public sidewalk.”
Just like that, the food in my stomach turned to wet concrete.
“Gave him a ticket,” my father said, stabbing a piece of turkey with his fork. “But I plan to shut that place down.”
“How?” I asked, hating the sound of the question. If I sounded interested at all, my father would fly into a rage.
“That lot is in a residential neighborhood. He shouldn’t have a garage there.”
I swirled mashed potatoes around on my plate. This was dangerous ground for me. But the legality of Jude’s father’s business had been challenged before. “Wasn’t that tried before? They won, though,” I pointed out.
My father only chuckled. “They won before a murderer and a drug addict lived there. I can get them off that property. One of my officers wants to buy that lot and build a duplex there. That will take a bite out of them.”
I set down my fork. “That won’t bring Gavin back.”
My father set his wineglass down slowly. He liked to make me wait and squirm before the outburst that we both knew was coming. “Really, Sophie? You’d take his side? You disloyal little bitch.”
As the word hung there over my homemade meal, my mother got up from her chair and drifted out of the room. Hanging onto my own calm by a thread, I watched her go. “Daddy, I wish Jude hadn’t come back to town. But that doesn’t mean I’d cheat an old man out of his home.”
There was a silence while my father stared me down. I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. Old Man Nickel had barely said three words to me during the years when Jude and I dated. I knew he wasn’t exactly a pillar of the community. But I’d defended him out of anger at my father.
God, I was such a hypocrite. But that was the effect my father had on me.
“You are to have no contact with that man or his son,” my father said.
“I don’t think you have a thing to worry about,” I lied. “I wrote Jude in prison and he never answered.”
Daddy’s face reddened. “I told you never to do that—”
“You told me never to do a lot of things! But I wanted to know what Gavin was doing in his car that night. And nobody will ever talk about what happened!”
His face was the color of raw meat. “Keep your nose out of it! You never fucking listen!”
Somehow I kept my voice level. “You haven’t ever listened to me. We’re even.”
“There is no EVEN!” he screamed. “You live in my house, you do as I say!”
I knew he wasn’t going to like what I said next, but I couldn’t stop myself. “I don’t live here for the free rent. I’m here for Mom. She’s a wreck, and you don’t seem to care.”
My father pushed back from the table with violence in his eyes, and I tensed all of my muscles. He picked up the gravy boat and hurled it against the wall, where it shattered into pieces, splashing gravy everywhere.
Holy. Crap.
I leapt up on shaky knees and high-tailed it out of the dining room, walking blindly toward the kitchen. I had no destination in mind other than away. My purse and car keys were upstairs, damn it. But my coat and shoes were beside the kitchen door. With shaking hands I put them on.
From the dining room I heard the sound of a chair being kicked into the wall.