Before she had time to be frightened of what it meant, he was holding her, telling her that it would be all right. He was there. He would always be there.
That was the first of the hallucinations.
They kept coming.
They got worse.
Hungry beasts crawled out of the shadows in the night, scratching at the floor beneath her bed.
Bodies hung from the chandeliers over the tables in the dining hall.
A necklace of jewels would tighten around her neck, strangling her.
Usually Jacin was there, as he’d been all her life. He would make light of it and force her to laugh about the absurdity of whatever trick her mind was playing. He would talk her through each episode with his steady rationality, leaving no room for her to doubt his words. He would hold her and let her cry, and it was during one of these embraces when Winter realized with all the force and clarity of a solar flare—
She was in love with him. She had always, always been in love with him.
*
“I brought you something,” said Jacin, smiling impishly when he spotted her. He was sprawled out on a bench in the gardens, his legs stretched out before him. It seemed he would never stop growing, even though his legs and arms no longer fit his body.
He was holding a white box that was emblazoned with the seal of Winter’s favorite candy maker.
Her eyes widened. “Petites?”
“Mom took me for new boots this morning and I made her stop for some.”
Winter hopped up onto the bench, sitting on its back so that her feet were tucked under Jacin’s knee. Though the biodomes of Luna were temperature-and climate-controlled, there was always an extra chill beside the lake, warranting the closeness. She did not hesitate, as soon as the box was open, to pop one of her favorite candies into her mouth. The sweet-sour burst of apples melted across her tongue.
“S’pose you wan’ one?” she said through her full mouth, pretending resentment as she held the box out for Jacin.
He smirked. “So generous, Your Highness.”
She wrinkled her nose at him and took another bite.
There had been a time—right after she’d realized how hopelessly in love with her best friend she was—when she had become awkward and reserved. When she had thought that she must become a lady when she was near him, as she was expected to be in the presence of any suitor … should she ever have a suitor. She smiled demurely when he made a joke and she touched him only timidly and she sat like a proper princess when they were together.
That time had lasted for about three hours, until Jacin had given her a strange look and asked what was wrong with her.
There was no point in pretending to be someone else now. Jacin knew every one of her secrets, every habit and every flaw. There would be no hiding them, and besides, those three hours had served only to make him uncomfortable, not enamored.
A cold voice cut through their candy devouring, shooting a tinge of anxiety along Winter’s spine.
“Winter.”
A single word, her own name, that brought more dread with it than a thousand threats.
Jacin jumped to his feet, swiping any candy bits off his mouth as he bowed to the queen.
Winter was slower to follow, but she, too, lowered into a curtsy as her tongue dug out bits of candy from between her teeth.
“Hello, Stepmother,” she said.
The queen’s glare was focused on Jacin. “You are dismissed, Jacin. Go find some way to be useful.”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” he said, still in his bow, and a second later he was marching away from them, back toward the palace. The stiffness to his stride made Winter curious if he was mirroring the strut of the guards or if Levana was controlling his limbs.
“Did you need something, Stepmother?”
Levana stared at her for a long time.
A very long time.
Winter could read nothing behind her glamour, her placid expression, her breathtaking beauty. She had heard some rumors lately that she, Winter, the gangly princess with the unruly hair, might someday surpass the queen’s beauty. She laughed every time she heard such nonsense, knowing that it could be only empty flattery.
Finally, one side of Levana’s lips curved upward. Maybe it was meant to be comforting, but it failed.
“Come with me, Winter.”
She turned and headed back toward the palace without waiting to see if Winter would follow, because of course she would.