“I’m eating Adrian for supper,” ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic announces.
Our eyes all turn to him in horror. What the hell? I put my hand over my mouth and burst out laughing.
“That is not happening,” Adrian cries in an outrage.
“You can eat me then,” he offers.
Adrian screws up his face in horror. “What?”
Oh God, this is hilarious. Joshua and I can hardly control the laughter we want to scream in this freak’s face.
“You are lucky I don’t drown you in the pool,” Bridget tells Ben’s friend.
The big-boobed bitch smiles as her eyes find the pool. “Wouldn’t be the first time I have been in this pool,” she purrs.
Bridget narrows her eyes as she loses control of her temper. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” she yells.
Oh shit. She is insinuating that has had sex with Ben in this pool. This is about to turn ugly.
“Go away, Avril!” Joshua snaps. Max comes over and stands to the right of us, obviously sensing the impending catfight.
“Avril Lavigne,” Cameron repeats in a stupid voice as he raises his eyebrows in question.
“Cameron. Shut the fuck up!” Bridget yells.
I giggle. God, he’s ridiculous when he’s drunk. How does Avril Lavigne even come into this conversation?
“Come on, Adrian. Pleasure awaits you,” ‘Weird Al’ purrs.
I bite my bottom lip to hold back my smile. This is like watching bad reality television.
Adrian puts his hands on his head in frustration. “Oh my God. Please… go away.”
“I’m not going anywhere without you, Adrian.”
“Oh man, just fuck off,” Joshua barks at ‘Weird Al’ in frustration.
This night is going from hero to zero at a rapid rate.
“Are you saying that you had sex with Ben in this pool?” Bridget growls.
“I’ve had sex with Ben in most places.”
“That’s it…” Bridget snaps and throws her drink all over Avril Lavigne.
“You fucking bitch!” She screams as she dives for Bridget. Joshua steps in front of Bridget, while Avril makes an attempt to get around him and Max. Cameron staggers back as he is pushed out of the way, falling into a pot plant. He lands on the floor and his glass of beer smashes, spraying mine and Bridget’s legs.
“Oww, Cameron!” Bridget and I yell as we look down at our legs in disgust. Avril Lavigne comes flying back at us, but Bridget gives her one almighty shove and she goes flying into the pool.
“Get in the car.” Max sighs. The other guards appear and point to the car.
“Good one, Didge. Now we have to go home.” I sigh, dejected. “I was having fun.”
“Shut up. She fucking started it.”
Adrian puts his arm around me from behind as we walk toward the front door. “Excellent timing, Bridget. That freak was stalking my ass.”
I smile and turn to see what Joshua is doing only to see him pushing Cameron after us.”
“I’m not fucking going home,” Cameron protests.
“Get in the car. You are too drunk to leave here,” Joshua tells him.
“Bridget is ruining our lives,” Cameron snarls.
Avril Lavigne starts to yell at us as she climbs out of the pool. Bridget flips her the bird above her head as she walks in the opposite direction. We get out to the front yard and all climb into the large black SUV.
We sit still for a moment as we take in the last ten minutes and wait for our driver.
“Well, that night ended nicely, didn’t it?.” I sigh as the car begins to spin. It’s a good thing, actually. I’m feeling very drunk and I know Joshua was about five seconds away from losing his shit with that girl. His temper knows no bounds these days.
“Yeah, well, I’m going to annihilate that bitch next time I see her.” Bridget tough talks as she punches her fist.
“You should have ripped her top off,” Cameron slurs. “That is the kind of shit I want to watch. Topless booby cat fighting”
“Oh my God.” Adrian sighs, disgusted, and I smile broadly at my friend’s stupid shenanigans.
Joshua winks at me and starts to shower my hand with kisses before he sucks on my index finger. He has that come fuck me look in his eyes, and I feel a flutter of arousal hit me.
“Pound Town,” he mouths in the darkness of the car.
“I need a Big Mac, Stanton.” I smirk as I eye him sitting next to me.
He puts his hand on his crotch and grabs it seductively. “I got one right here for you, baby.”
From the seat behind us, we hear Adrian groan. “Oh, shit, this just gets worse.”
From my bed, I hear the front door open downstairs, the car keys hit the foyer table with force, then I listen as he takes the stairs two at a time. I feel a rush of excitement sweep through me.
My man is home.