Mark wobbled on his feet, his smile free and wide, though he was missing that obliteration Zee had come to recognize so well.
Zee chuckled beneath his breath, slanting his brother a wry grin. “Looks to me like you already started without me.”
Mark slung his arm around Zee’s shoulder. “Guess we need to catch you up.”
Four shots later and Zee was feeling just fine. Too fine. Too good and too loose. He joked with his brother in a way they hadn’t in a long, long time. Like they’d done back when they were kids and their lives weren’t filled with complications and obstacles.
Back when the only thing that mattered was them.
Mark clung to Zee as the night grew deep. Both of them were swaying where they hung out with Mark’s friends in the backyard of some dude’s house. He’d never even caught the guy’s name.
Mark slurred his words toward Zee’s ear. “Gonna miss the hell out of you. You don’t know what it’s like out there on the road. Gets so fucking lonely out there. Think I start to lose my mind just a little bit…start thinking crazy shit is going down, this paranoia I can’t shake, like everyone is after me.”
Zee squeezed the back of Mark’s neck in some kind of an encouraging embrace. “Maybe it’s time to ask yourself if it’s worth it. If living this life is what you really want to do.”
Mark’s head shook. “Nah, man. It’s my life. The one thing I’ve got going for me. Me and the guys? We worked our asses off, paid prices none of us wanted to pay, and we did it anyway. No way am I gonna ever let that go. Seeing this through with my crew is the absolute most important thing to me.”
“I get that, Mark. I get it. But how are you going to know when you’ve had enough? When you want more?”
Mark’s gaze drifted over to where Veronica was in the far reaches of the yard having a conversation with a guy Zee’d never seen before.
The two of them were barely shadows in the dusky light that stretched out from the house. Every once in a while, the dude’s bleached-white hair struck in the light.
There was just something about him that screamed sleazy.
Trouble.
Like his brother needed any more of it.
Unease curled through Zee’s gut. It almost seemed like they were arguing. Their words heated and lowered.
There was no missing Mark’s suspicion, either. His brother swallowed and his spine went rigid. “Sometimes I think I might deserve something more. Want something more. But then I realize I always go looking for what I want in all the wrong places.”
“You care about her?” Zee asked, chin barely angling toward the shadows.
“Too much, obviously.” Mark seemed to shake himself from the heaviness. “Come on…forget this bullshit. Don’t know when I’m going to see you again. Let’s not waste it.”
Zee’s eyes narrowed as he tried to see through the fog, his vision blurry, and his limbs heavy. Darkness spun just as fast as the room while everything else felt slowed and distorted.
He blinked, trying to focus on the movement, the wispy silhouette that broke through the hush of the room he’d stumbled into where he sat sprawled back on a dingy, broken-down couch.
Hands were in his hair, a body straddling his waist.
He groaned.
He hated her. He knew he did. But he couldn’t stop his body from reacting, couldn’t stop his hands from going to her hips. Pushing her off. Pulling her forward. He didn’t know.
“What the fuck is going on in here?”
Zee sucked in a staggered breath when a blinding light suddenly split into the room. He was completely disoriented and panting as he attempted to focus. To clear the stupor.
Veronica was off him in less than a flash. Her big brown eyes were wide, her mouth twisted with feigned innocence.
Disgust rippled from Mark in waves as he took a step deeper into the room. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, little brother?”
For a flash, Zee squeezed his eyes, trying to process. To make sense of what had just gone down. “Nothing.”
Mark laughed. But it was lacking the affection it normally imbued. “Nothin’, huh? Sure looked like something to me.”
Mark rocked and took a lurching step forward, as fucked up as Zee, maybe more so. But where Zee felt nothing but confusion, it was clearly anger that raced Mark’s blood.
“I was just checking on—” Veronica started to speak when Mark’s phone rang.
“Don’t want to hear a word, Veronica,” he spat in her direction as he jerked his phone free. A sneer rode his expression when he turned the face Zee’s direction so he could see who was calling. “Aww…looks like someone noticed you were gone.”
Julie.
Alarms blared. Warp speed. Deafening.
Zee flew to his feet. “Dude…don’t fucking answer that.”
Bitterness rolled from Mark’s tongue, and he was accepting the call, pushing it to his ear. Zee could hear the panicked dread in Julie’s voice as she asked Mark if he’d seen Zee.
“Oh, he’s right here, nothing to worry about. On second thought, maybe both of us should be worried, since I just walked in on my fucking girlfriend straddling my brother’s lap.”
Zee lunged for him. Mark fumbled back, killing the call and throwing his phone against the wall.
“What the hell, asshole?” Zee gritted.
Mark laughed. It was this senseless, hopeless sound as he stared back at Zee. “You’re asking that of me? When I just walked in on you rubbing your dick all over my girl? How fucked up is that?”
Zee tore at his hair. “I wasn’t…I wouldn’t…”
“We weren’t doing anything.” Incredulous, Veronica shook her head, eyes wide as her attention darted between them. Like she was the victim and hadn’t been the one to set off a bomb.
“I heard your brother getting sick, and I came in to make sure he was okay. He was getting ready to fall over, so I was helping him sit up. That’s it.”
Confusion pulsed through Zee’s brain. Was that it? All she’d done?
Fuck. He didn’t know.
The only thing he knew was he shouldn’t have come. This was stupid and reckless and foolish. Not to mention the fact his brother had just thrown him under the bus.
Zee squeezed his eyes tight, fear tremoring through his body. “Julie.”
“Julie,” Zee begged, right behind her as she tossed a suitcase onto their bed.
Tears streamed down her face, her fingers shaking and frantic as she started yanking clothes from the closet and shoving them in.
“Julie…shit…shit. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t do anything. I promise you, I didn’t do anything. I wouldn’t touch her.”
Bitter laughter poured through her tears. “You didn’t do anything? I wake up at four in the morning and you’re gone, at a party, doing God knows what, and you didn’t do anything?”
Her face pinched in grief, and Zee’s insides twisted in agony.
“I told you I didn’t want any part of that life.” Sadness poured through her whisper.