“Come on, Lucas!”
At the sound of my name, instinct has me jerking, peeking, and— Oh dear God, she’s sliding her jeans down her thighs. Just like that night at the river.
I turn my back, my entire body rigid and one very particular part throbbing. “I’m uh . . . I’ll just . . . um . . .”
“Oh, come on! It’ll be fun!”
What will be fun? Getting naked in the forest? Is this a Would You Rather thing? Before it was being naked in the desert or in—
Her hand grips my shoulder and I whirl around. Unblinking, I can’t tear my eyes away from Shyann standing before me in nothing but her bra and panties. My mouth goes dry, but that’s because my jaw is hanging wide open. I slam it shut.
I’ve memorized what’s underneath those strips of fabric. I’m heavy and tingly between my legs, and if she looks, which thank goodness she hasn’t, there’s no way she wouldn’t see it.
“But um . . .” I nod to the flat, soft plane of her belly that is rounded just enough to make it look like the softest thing on the face of the planet.
She reaches out and takes my hand. “Hey . . .”
My eyes dart to hers.
“You don’t have to jump if you don’t want to.”
“Okay.” I lick my lips and hope she can’t feel how bad I’m shaking.
“But you’ve gotta see this.” She turns and drags me a few yards through the forest until she stops and points. “There.”
I move closer and the trees part to reveal a decent-sized pool at the bottom of a cliff. “Wow . . .”
“This is Dead Man’s Drop. I used to come up here all the time over summer . . .”
She’s talking but my mind is on pause at the closeness of her body.
“. . . stay all day and swim . . .”
I can feel the heat of her skin against my forearm.
“. . . and Sam would—”
I blink and focus on her. “Sam?”
“Yeah, a friend—”
“You said you don’t have any friends.”
“I don’t. Not anymore. She works at Pistol Pete’s and even though we parted on bad terms . . .” She blinks and shakes her head. “Anyway, we had some good times here.”
“No.” I take a step back, pulling her with me. “You can’t jump.”
She narrows her eyes on me. “Of course I can.”
“Is it safe?”
My grip on her grows tighter and she steps close enough that I can feel the heat of her breasts brush against my ribs. “Lucas, do you trust me?”
“No.” The word comes out on a shaky whisper.
A gentle grin softens her face and with both her hands she works to relax my hold enough for her to slip free. Seconds later she turns, takes four long strides, and disappears off the rock cliff.
A holler that can only be described as guttural exhilaration echoes off the canyon walls and slices through the trees.
I race to the edge and there’s nothing but a circle of white bubbles marring the once shimmering pond.
I wait for her to surface, and just when I’m about to jump in and rescue her, she pops up out of the water with a feral howl.
“That was amazing!” She waves at me. “The water is perfect!”
With adrenaline coursing through my veins, I allow myself a moment to wonder what it would be like to be as free as Shyann. Everything I do is weighed against the danger of doing it. The threat of blacking out always pulling me back to walk the safer, less risky side of any situation. But something about her makes me want to try harder, makes me want to take a risk like other twenty-five-year-old guys. The sound of her squealing lights a fire in my chest that has me wanting to jump.
Risking a blackout might be worth the few seconds of euphoria I haven’t felt since . . . I can’t remember.
I think of backing away and yelling for her to meet me at the truck, but something pulls me toward her. Part of me wonders if it’s nothing more than wanting to be close, to keep her safe, because she belongs to Mr. Jennings and I owe him. But even as the thought enters my mind, so do others.
I want her to like me.
I want her to see me as brave.
I want to know what it’s like to be normal.
I drop to a rock and untie the laces of my work boots, kicking them off and stuffing them with my socks. In my hat I put the keys to the truck, my wallet, and my shirt. Unbuckling my belt, I pull my jeans off and a rush of adrenaline fires through my veins.
“Lucas! Are you still there?”
I don’t answer but instead shake out the numbness in my arms and bounce on my toes. “I can do this. I can do this.” I check the depths of my mind and find no darkness lingering at the edge.
“Lucas! Where’d you go?”
Before I can change my mind, I take off running and push off the edge of the sharp cliff.
I’m weightless.
My legs kick and my arms flail as my body responds on instinct, in an attempt to fight gravity.
Another long howl from Shyann and my stomach goes to my throat as I plummet, then hit with a cool sting that enlivens me.
Water rushes around me. Not knowing how deep I’ve gone, I thrash to the surface.