PRESENT
I swing on to our driveway and have to hit my brakes. A skate ramp has been constructed in the middle of my route to the garage and two bikes, two skateboards, and a scooter surround it.
I reverse and pull up on the nature strip, smiling to myself as I exit the car, taking a moment to admire my boys’ work.
Opening the front door, I take a deep breath, inhaling all the smells of home and letting the stress drop away. The house is quiet, but I can hear shouts, screams, splashes, and music coming from the pool area. Throwing my keys down on to the bench top, I grab a beer from the fridge and make my way towards the bi-fold doors.
Leaning in the doorway, I watch the reasons for my existence from where I stand.
Carter is on the edge of the pool, trying to bend Archie into the perfect shape for a dive. Flynn, who is as fearless as ever, runs to the pool edge, jumps, and summersaults into the water.
I hold my breath, and my stomach churns as he does it. My whole body is poised for action in case he mistimes the move and cracks his head on the tiled edge that surrounds the pool. He doesn’t.
Carter shouts at him to be careful and not to splash Lucas, whose little head I can just see bobbing about in the water; his floaty jacket keeping him buoyant.
My eyes move to my wife. Sarah. My heart. My home. The centre of my fucking universe. Every single one of my nerve endings ignites and converges in my chest, causing it to tighten the way it does each and every day when I walk through the front door and see her. Today, she’s wearing a bikini and lying on a sun lounger and has her bare legs stretched out in front of her. The sight forces those nerve endings to end their journey at my dick, making it twitch.
She’s still a little slimmer than I’d like her to be, but she’s regained most of the weight she lost.
Last year, we were in a very different place her and me. A dark place I hope we never return to.
She looks up from her Kindle and shouts out a reprimand to Flynn.
“What have I told you about doing handstands into the pool? You’ll crack your head one of these days.”
“It wasn’t a handstand it was a forward roll. You never told me I couldn’t do one of them.”
Smart arse.
“Well, I’m telling you now. No getting in the pool doing anything that involves you being upside down”
“That’s just boring.”
“Do as you’re told, Flynn! You’ll only end up in your room again,” Carter tells him quietly.
“Well, them’s the rules, Flynn Delaney. There’s always homework to do if you don’t like them.”
“Okay, no upsidedowning into the pool. I’ve got it.”
“Good boy.”
I watch her smile before going back to whatever smut she’s reading.
I’m still wearing my suit pants and a dress shirt and tie. As much as I want to go and change, I know if I step onto the back deck wearing my boardies, the boys will have me in the pool in an instant.
I love my kids, but they’re not the reason I’m home early today. Sarah is.
She’s been quiet for the last week or so, and I can sense her pulling away. I know that it’s a battle for her almost every single day not to disappear inside herself, and I won’t let that happen. I’ll give her the space she needs, I’ll make sure she gets back on her meds if that’s what’s required, and I’ll help out with the boys as much as I can while she gets through this.
What I won’t do is leave her to confront her demons alone. I’ll be here to hold her hand and her heart until she can breathe by herself again. I missed all of the signs last time, and I’ll be fucked if I ever let that happen again.
Kygo’s “Curtain Call” starts to play over the sound system. I both love and hate this song. It could’ve been ours, mine and Sarah’s.
I drain the bottle, step back inside to the fridge, and grab us each a beer before heading out to the deck. The thought of us ever being over intensifies my need to talk to my wife.
I’m almost at her side before Carter spots me.
“Dad, hey. You’re home early, can we take the boat out?”
“Dad.”
“Daddy.”
“Missed you, Daddy.”
I hear the calls from each of my kids as they jump, dive, and splash around in the water, and there’s nothing in this world that can stop the smile that pulls at my lips.
“Hey, boys, missed all of you, too. Not tonight, bud, but I promise we’ll take it out on the weekend.” He nods and dives back under the water to continue swimming circles around Lucas.
I keep moving towards Sarah, who’s lowered her sunnies down her nose and is watching my approach. Her smile is almost as big as mine, her one dimple on show.
“Hey, pretty girl, I couldn’t help but notice you from across the way over there and just wondered if you’d like to have a drink with me?”
I hold out one of the bottles, about to join her on the lounger.
“Don’t sit down.”
I stop in my tracks and look down at her.
“No? You don’t want my company?”