“What? What did I say?” She laughed. Forget the butterflies, I had a whole fucking zoo in my belly right then.
“Fuck I love you.” I pulled her mouth to mine and kissed her smile. “I meant your cunt or your mouth, not where in the villa but never mind. Your answer works, too.”
“Oh.” She laughed harder, and it was the best sound ever.
I lifted my hips off the shelf seat that was around the edge of the spa. “Take them off for me.”
She slid them over my hips and then peeled her own off before settling back on my lap.
“Turn around for me.” She did as she was told, but then she shocked the shit out of me when without any prompting, she positioned herself so I was able to slip straight into her. Because of the height of the bench and the angle of my hips, I was balls deep inside her. The contrast in temperature between the spa water and Sarah’s hot pussy had me nearly coming the instant she rocked against me.
“That feel good, baby?”
“So good.” I reached around and rubbed her clit, my eyes fixated on where we were joined under the water.
Her fingers joined mine, and she showed me where to touch her. She reached for my free hand and placed it over her tit, forcing my fingers to pinch her nipples. She leant forward slightly, letting me know what she wanted, and I took my hand from her tit and slid two fingers into her arse. She exploded. Her muscles clenched and tightened, and when she let out a deep-throated moan, I let go, too.
Once we had both had a few moments to recover, I pulled out and twisted her around in my lap. Draping both of her arms around my neck, she rested her head on my shoulder while I traced my fingertips up and down her spine.
“Bub, I know we’ve both been drinking tonight, but I wanna talk to ya about something.”
“Pour me another drink first.”
“You sure? We’ve got an early start in the morning.”
She was pretty drunk and not the greatest morning person at the best of times, and I knew a killer hangover would make it so much worse.
I twisted around and poured her half a glass, letting the bubbles fizz so it looked as if there was more in the glass. She took a sip with her eyes closed anyway, and I decide it was time to cut her off.
“Tell me then.”
“What?”
“What you wanna talk about.”
I didn’t know why I was bothering since she wouldn’t remember this conversation in the morning.
“What we’ve had here with the boys these last two weeks, this is exactly what I had every day and night from about November till May.”
“Australia?”
“Yeah.”
“For us?”
“Yeah. What d’ya think?”
“To live, permanently?”
“Yep.”
I studied her face as she chewed on the corner of her bottom lip. She opened her eyes and looked up at the darkening sky.
“What about my nan?”
“Yeah, I’ve got no answer to that one I’m afraid. All I will say is, I love your nan and appreciate everything that she’s done for you and us, but our priority now has gotta be our boys.”
“Lemme think about it.”
“You can think about it. It’s just an idea, and I wanted to put it out there. Work’s gonna be insane until we get the mining side of things shut down in February, so I’m thinking maybe during our summer would be a good time, let Carter finish out the school year first.”
She nodded. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”
“Great, fantastic, babe. You can do that while you think about Australia.” She laughed drunkenly, and I stood us both up and helped her up to our bedroom. I help her get showered, dried and into bed, and then I forced her to take a couple of paracetamol and drink a large glass of lemonade. When she was settled, I slid into bed with her and pulled her into my arms.
“Thanks for a great holiday, pretty girl. Here’s to us and new beginnings.”
“I love you a lottle, Aussie Husband.”
“Love you a lottle more.”
2015
I was pregnant.
I hadn’t done a test yet, but I had been through this enough times that I knew the signs. And I knew. I was pregnant.
We had drunken, unprotected sex in the spa on the last night of our holiday in the South of France. We had been back just two weeks, but I knew. I just knew.
It was my own fault. I made Liam promise me earlier that day that if I got messy drunk and we ended up having sex he’d either use a condom or pull out. He obviously did neither. Ultimately though, it was my body, my responsibility. I was to blame.
I came back from that holiday in such a good place. For two whole weeks, I had felt like myself again. The fog I’d been living under was there, hovering just around the edges, but it was lighter. I could see, hear, and feel in colour again. I hadn’t felt like I was pretending when I said I was fine. While we were away, I really was fine.
I was fine.
And now I wasn’t.
I was pregnant.
I couldn’t go back to that, back to feeling the way that I did.
I couldn’t let that happen.
I couldn’t let this baby happen.